a weird little strange life

Death On the Stairs

2012-01-07T06:22:00.002+05:30

Written and Directed by Pushkaraj Shirke
DOP: Francesca Tagliarino
AC: Riccardo Spina
Gaffer: Chong

Cast: Selina Barker & Riccardo Spina

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Hurt - Johnny Cash (NYFA music film project - first cut)

2012-01-05T06:58:00.001+05:30

Dedicated to every moment you've torn your heart away hoping never to be hurt again.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

the journey of a fulfilled dream: 2011 in retrospect

2011-12-31T12:34:00.000+05:30

Perched in New York City, studying film at the New York Film Academy... a bustling, glowing city of skyscrapers and filled with art and artists on every street... studying the one thing i've loved all my life... its a dream come true. I can't help but feel an ocean of emotions churning inside me. and yet, beneath this ocean of waves, i feel a calm sense of serenity. and it flashes as an undisturbed smile on my face at all times. a calm i cannot explain with a few words. a calm that comes with knowing that i've listened to my head and chased my dreams and yet, kept my heart in the right place. always.

The realization of this dream is no doubt important to me, but what i've come to realize that to me, even more important is how it came about.
Living through this one year, has been chaos. Some of the deepest lows of my life... and some of the most memorable highs. (yes pun intended, if you insist). And yet, now when i look back, it all falls into place like an artwork of planned chaos.

The year began with a decision that broke me to pieces. A decision that was the 'right' thing to do - as much ever as my heart may not want it. for once, i listened to my head so that one day my heart wouldn't hate me. Following which i gathered my pieces and traveled across the country. Wondering to myself if ever the pieces would be whole again. In some of those pieces were memories worth cherishing for a lifetime. and in one of them, words: "i'm waiting for you to rise from the ashes you've burned yourself down to." i will. i promised.

Having traveled like vagabond across the country, sleeping on stations and forests, biking though multiple sunburns and treating my mind to hundreds of new experiences and sights, i came back home to another major decision. Changing cities. Leaving the city i love the most. a city i feel for, the city i grew up in.

Within the next week i had six job offers from different cities. and i chose one that was paying me no more than what i was already earning. Anyone with common career sense wouldn't do that. But i did. And it was the first high of that year. The reason i picked the job i did, was Indira Das - who would be my boss for the year. and the best boss i have had till date.
The first time i met her, i had already decided to take up the job irrespective of what salary i'm offered. because unlike most people in the advertising industry, she didn't come across as someone running the rat race. we didn't have an interview, we had a chat. and i had already decided to move cities. so if i had to, i might as well do so working with a truly genuine person. no matter how precious, money is still just paper at the end of the day. and as time proved across the year, it was the right thing to do. i still love her as a friend and as the best boss and mentor i've ever had. (and indu, i'm publishing this because you have already quit. or i wouldn't have. just the way i haven't published my farewell letter to you yet - which i still haven't given you either)

Having moved to a new city where i had just one friend, and still hurting memories swimming in my heart it was like being in rehab. and it is then that i realized what difference even just one good friend can make. not that i did not know it, but to feel it when you need it the most is an experience in itself. especially when emotional breakdowns start manifesting themselves physically. my welcome to bangalore was being admitted to the hospital. but overtime, things got better again. and mansi, thanks for being there all this time. for once the kid was taking care of the dad :) and i don't know how i would have gotten through without you.
Not to mention that in this time mansi started dating my dear friend sriram, and soon she left bangalore for mumbai to be closer to him.

Some more time passed by and i was alone in bangalore. slowly and steadily making new friends, living new adventures - some of which i better not mention here. And that's when i met mukta. a person i hardly knew but was such a gem of a person that i couldn't help feeling genuinely happy with. Soon she got booted out of her apartment and i had a new roomie by default. but every single day with her as my roomie was a ton of fun. it made the loneliness of bangalore and its lack of intellectual stimulation a thing of the past. I had found a new friend worth keeping for life. and as fate would have it, it was time for her to move to mumbai. (again) to be with her boyfriend and pursue a real career.

All this while i was drowning myself into work and more work and yet more work all the time. utilizing any free time i had for working out to keep my mind off from wandering into thoughts i didn't want to spend too much time on. With the passage of time, things got better. Well, they didn't really have an option - i had my rocks by me always - no matter how far i maybe - Poorabie (the white side of my soul), Ketak & Sanjeev (my 2 brothers from different mothers) and the one person who only keeps getting closer to my heart with every passing year of ridiculing each other, Reema. No matter how far i am or in how much pain, i know all i need to do is to share my heart out to them, and i'm smiling again. These, by the way, are people i can love from across continents and still feel the love.

As they say, things have a way of happening when you least expect them to. Towards the end of the year three bombs drop on me:
1. my boss tells me she is quitting (which leaves me no logical reason to continue with my job at the given salary, away from friends and loved ones, away from the mainstream film industry and in a city that provides minimal intellectual stimulation)
2. and at the same time i find out a new course at New York Film Academy has begun admissions (to which i immediately applied to and the rest is history)
3. and the most important....
i started falling in love with someone
A happy creature with an open mind. a non-judgemental individual, with the heart of a child, the soul of a free bird and the most caring hands ever. and the more time i spend with her i sense a feeling of calm within me. a feeling i haven't really known for a long long time.
in midst of all this flux in my life, when i'm with her, i'm calm again. but its not just calm. its different. its a calm filled with love. love that's unquestioning of all the million visible cracks in my soul. and its not momentary or just created by her presence. its a feeling she leaves in me. a feeling that i feel even now. miles away from her. in New York City. or wherever that life could take me.
but having this feeling also makes me realize one other thing - no matter how many dreams i achieve and what heights i reach - they would all be empty without the love i've been blessed to receive. they would all be empty if it were not for the love we share.
and its a feeling and a realization i cherish.

So finally, as i say goodbye to year full of lessons in unconditional love and care, i just want to thank all those who make my dreams, dreams worth achieving. And promise myself to be as deserving of the love you all have bestowed upon me as i can possibly be. and this includes people i haven't mentioned here today.

Love you, always.
Pushkaraj Shirke

PS: I Love You

Sunfeast Dark Fantasy Choco Fills

2011-11-30T01:51:00.001+05:30

NEULIFE + ON TRUE STRENGTH: INSPIRATIONAL FILMS

2011-11-23T23:55:00.002+05:30

TRUE STRENGTH is associated with Optimum Nutrition and as a brand one of their core values is acknowledgement and support for individuals who possess TRUE STRENGTH. And in 2011, for the FIRST TIME EVER Neulife took the initiative to conduct the TRUE STRENGTH awards in INDIA on behalf of Optimum Nutrition.

The TRUE STRENGTH Awards are a recognition to those individuals who have demonstrated outstanding will power and determination to achieve their fitness and/or athletic goals despite great hardship or natural obstacles.

These films were made to celebrate the spirit of the three men from across the country who were awarded this year. Hopefully, they will inspire many pf those who see them:

TRUE STRENGTH INDIA WINNER - MUMBAI: NIZAR DAWOODANI

TRUE STRENGTH INDIA WINNER - PUNE: BHUPESH KAMBLE

TRUE STRENGTH INDIA WINNER - DELHI: ANKUR SHARMA

DIRECTOR: PUSHKARAJ SHIRKE
PRODUCERS: ROHON NAG & SAKET IYER
EDITOR: ROHON NAG
PRODUCTION HOUSE: FORCE FOUR PRODUCTIONS + MONKEYWORKS
CLIENT: NEULIFE

If these films and these incredible individuals inspire you, do leave a comment.
regards,
Pushkaraj Shirke

Designing a Logo

2011-11-17T11:54:00.001+05:30

A friend asked me to deign a logo for his brand: DANCE UNDERGROUND. Its a label that deals with musicians and DJs and underground music events across the country.
So i started off with a few scrawls to get the feel of the intended communication.

SKETCH THE CONCEPT:
Unlike most digital artists, i like to actually hand-draw my concepts and icons onto paper even before i go onto the machine. i use as little technology as possible - coz somehow, i find it adds more character and personality to the things i create. ofcourse there are people who directly kick ass on coreldraw and photoshop alone. but hey, this is me. so off i got to drawing little icons and cues that suggested what the brand needed to communicate and what the brand stood for. after a paper full of these, i picked out the best ones, and singled them out into recognizable logo units.

DESIGN IT:
Once i had created a logo unit using the cues i wanted, i scanned the basic sketch and on came photoshop.
Which brought me to choosing the font. i LOVE hand-drawn fonts, but the kind of cleanness the preset fonts have is kinda irreplaceable. so picked a font i liked. out came the brushes and the layers and poof!
The final 2D logo for DANCE UNDERGROUND was ready:

RENDER IT COMPLETE:
Then came the task of adding dimension and texture to the elements. Since this is a unit that is mostly for the web and visual mediums, a 3D rendered logo made sense. So i got on to that task.
A little steel, a little leather, a little neon and a few sprays and liquids - and we were done.
The final logo of DANCE UNDERGROUND was created:
(to be uploaded once release permission is acquired)

and that's the way the cookie crumbles. and a logo is designed. from concept - to final design.
Cheers!
Pushkaraj Shirke

Illustration: The War of the World

2011-10-19T14:22:00.000+05:30

Title: The War of the World
Style: Illustration
Medium: Pen on paper

why? well, if i have to live through the end of the world, it might as well be entertaining!

- Pushkaraj Shirke

The NEULIFE film: The Anatomy of Achievement

2011-10-17T13:26:00.008+05:30

Team Neulife Athlete: Mr. neulife: Ankur Sharma
The man is a monster by body and a humble man by heart. it's humbling to even meet him face to face. Every scene he did, he did for real - no dummy weight - pure iron and pure muscle! The images have not been touched up as in other commercials - this is what PURE MUSCLE is all about. Sheer Belief. Sheer Grit. Sheer Power!

Team Neulife Athlete: Khushnoor Jijina
Mixed martial arts champion, commonwealth champion in karate and the undefeated FCC champion of India.

Team Neulife Model, Boxer and Athlete: Sudev Nair

it is so difficult to not disclose anything about my first commercial film as an independent director.Especially when it looks so bloody darn amazing! all i can share for now is my thanks to the team that made it possible:
DOP: Anuj Samtani
Line producers: Rohon Nag and Saket Iyer
Editor: Amit Shetty
Writer - Director: Pushkaraj Shirke (self)

to know more about the brand that is bringing international nutritional advantages to India for the past 10 years, supporting true athletes and making such films possible, check out: www.neulife.in

Look forward to this space for more details, more stills, the making of and More!

- Pushkaraj Shirke

PS: and my personal thanks go out to my friend and the creator of Neulife, Samit Gupta, for giving me the opportunity to create this piece of work for him.

50 things about me you already know... or not.

2011-10-10T18:47:00.003+05:30

here i go - tagged again. and feeling too stressed out to think or work for the moment. so filling out a tag sheet - of 50 things about me. damn this slef indulgent waste of time. neways, here goes:

1. i LOVE films.
2. the only things that makes me angry easily is the sight of people hitting animals.
3. i'm dyslexic. and proud of it.
4. i love acting and have won plenty of stuff for it - but i would never make it my profession.
5. forget smoking, alcohol and drugs - i've realised that being truthful is more injurious to health and life than them all. and yet i wont quit it. atleast i haven't as yet.
6. i had set fire to my building terrace as a kid.
7. my first crush was my nursery teacher. i cried when she got married.
8. i'm extremely resistant to cold - i've swum in every water body in kashmir.
9. i'm working on and want to build a self sustainable habitat/living system before i die.
10. i love dancing. and martial arts. and working out. i think i love all physio-kinetic arts.

11. i never take autographs. i believe if you admire someone, take that inspiration and rise to their level as equals and meet them rather than run around them with a pen and paper.
12. i hate taking favours. even if its from my own family.
13. i've never cried out for help. and i don't expect anyone to be there for me when i'm in need.
14. i have biked all over the country, but i never drive.
15. singing is my achilles heel. its the one thing i cannot do. and the one thing that makes any woman 10X more attractive in my eyes.
16. most of my closest friends are people who've hated me initially.
17. to me the opposite of love is not hate. its indifference.
18. i can never unlove someone i love. the intensity though, may change.
19. different people mean different emotions to me. and also i see most people as animals.
20. being loved without ever having to lie is my ideal of unconditional love.

21. i don't like my birthday.
22. my first job was selling phenyl, bags and socks from door to door. and i used to skip lunch to save some money.
23. i've had 13 fractures. now i have a severe neck complication since i was 18.
24. i'm manic depressive. and some of my best works of art and prose are rooted in that.
25. being a stunt director, a barber, a naval pilot, a vet or a scientist were my childhood ambitions.
26. 'modesty' is not my cup of tea. i find it to be the most commonly used farce by those most immodest.
27. Japanese culture interests me. so does animal behaviour.
28. black is my fav colour. but when i'm painting, purple flows naturally through me.
29. I admire Leonardo Da Vinci, Clint Eastwood and Julian Assange.
30. I used to be a scaredy kid! but now, hardly anything ever scares me. except free falling upside down from heights.

31. i love chocolate with almonds and nuts.
32. my mom is my mom. my dad is my best friend. and all my relationships are so simple that they seem complicated to people accustomed to live in institutions.
33. my concepts of god, death and love are experiential derivations, not pre-learned concepts of fiction.
34. i'm a trivia and knowledge hound. wikipedia was a dream come true for me.
35. i love clicking people. its a biography at view.
36. to me, the law ain't the same as justice. i support capital punishment. euthanesia. castration and amputative punishment.
37. i don't have even a single pair of formal clothes.
38. i talk to absolute strangers just out of curiosity. also to people i find interesting or inspiring. i study them.
39. i love reading excerpts of Kahlil Gibran.
40. i believe sex is to a relationship what money is to a job.

41. i want to win an oscar.
42. i love advertising, but i don't chase advertising awards. i'm happy making advertising that actually works.
43. i prefer making love to making coffee every morning. its a better way to wake up.
44. I never really liked reading novels. graphic novels and comics were more my palate.
45. I believe in learning. not in education.
46. i love letting the people i love know how much they are loved in any way i can, everytime i can... coz i believe that's the only regret death can leave me with. of not having loved them enough.
47. i also want to be fighting fit and completely independant till i die. i intend to take hermitage someday.
48. i want to travel the world.
49. i loathe commercialism. i want to live away from 'too much civillization'.
50. i want to live a life that no one else can. and i will.

if you've read this, you're tagged. and you need to write this note. funny thing is, it actually helps find yourself a little bit :)

- Pushkaraj Shirke

The POLE UP YOUR ASS theory.

2011-10-05T14:17:00.000+05:30

This is a theory i came up with through my observations of people everywhere. I've shared it with many people and some of them asked me to put it down for sharing. so here it is.

Every individual is born free - with an anus as unclogged and free as can be. nothing up their ass.
no prenotions. no prejudice. no bias. no ideas. no concepts of good or bad, right and wrong. in fact, no concepts at all. in short, no poles up their ass.

and then begins their 'humanization'.
they learn from their parents and surroundings the good and the bad, the to do and the not to do, the beautiful and the ugly, the strong and the meek... and lots and lots of different words to classify the world around them. initially to better understand it. and slowly and steadily, towards differentiating within it.
That, my dear, is the first formation of a little pole up your ass. its not too big. its small, and very allowing. you are still quite free.

Then you grow a little more. and so do your experiences within the cocoons of your immediate society. the cultural concepts around you, the small talk, the 'praised' ideals and concepts begin to nurture that pole up your ass. and without you really knowing it - its growing bigger and bigger everyday.
Now you are idealistic - on ideas that YOU perceive as worthy without knowing that YOU perceive them worthy cause that's the most common notion you have been opened to.
You differentiate good and bad, and beautiful and ugly, and right and wrong, race and religion, sexual and biological, social and anti-social - based not on introspective thought, but on accumulated learnings from other's filters of life.
The pole up you ass, by the time you are through your teens is about 10 foot long!
you think you are above others because of what you believe is greater than what they believe - may it be your ways of life, your choice of food, the people you are sexually available to, the gods you pray to or the education you choose. Your 'concepts' have still not met the real world. the real world, where you realise that textbooks and fables don't teach what's true, but only that whats as entertaining as it is acceptable by the society as a whole.

Now with that 10 foot pole up your ass, you step into the real world. You feel you are TALLER than everyone else. And that is where the pruning begins. Now, i'm not suggesting that the minute you are past your teens and into the working world is a timelined bench mark. some people live with their pole in their cocoon for as far as 30 years - some, even for life. a life of sweet cocooned delusion. but that's a rough estimate.
As you experience the world on your own terms. see the real world as against the one in texts and stories. travel. explore. meet people. experience your own life. read. watch. listen. and feel the world around you as far and wide as possible... you realize that the pole up your ass is getting smaller. it's being pruned by the world. and by your own TRUE experiences.

NOW, the MOST IMPORTANT part.
The thing is, by now, the pole has been up your ass so long, that it has started to become your SPINE.
That pole is now your CHARACTER. or what defines you. if not to the world, at least to your own self. and to your sense of self-identity. The pole keeps growing or reducing with time and age and circumstances.
And it is pretty much up to each individual to decide how much he/she lets the world and their experiences prune their pole.
some people let time and age take their pole away completely, ending up as 'spineless' individuals who've given up to life and are just living with whatever life serves them. some, accept the pole as their spine and live with it symbiotically - creating a balance between what's acceptable to them and what is not. Even if they might change with the time to come.

people who let the pole be completely reduced and decide not to judge anything at all ever and for whatever reason, become spineless. they no longer have a pole up their ass, but they don't have a spine either. they don't stand up for anything - anything at all.

people who refuse to let their pole be pruned at all by their circumstances and experiences, rare as that may be, end up living delusional lives. often cocooned into institutions, cults, escapism and many a times - dead at their own hands. oh you also find a few who nurture the pole further up their ass. i'm sure you'd meet a few in this lifetime.

and then there are people who let their life experiences and circumstances prune the pole up their ass in such a way that enough spine remains up there to be their back. to take a stand. have an opinion. and yet not be too rigid or demeaningly judgmental towards others. (demeaningly judgmental is not the same as judgmental). more importantly, it is often amongst such people that you find people that are not too stuck up, treat everyone with equality and are as humanly flawed and accepting of it as possible.

In my view - that's pretty much the place to be in. Where there's no 'pole' up your ass, but a well adjusted, adequate sized spine. A backbone that you stand on and live your life with.

But hey, that's my view. the pole up your ass may be a different story all together.

cheers!
Pushkaraj Shirke

Building a Model Physique in 30 Days

2011-09-26T17:26:00.004+05:30

I always maintain a fit body and don't quite give a shit about a good looking body. But for once, to demonstrate the difference - i'm challenging myself to build a modelling physique. (yeah, i'm my own lab rat.) The usual time taken for this is 3-4 months but coz i dont like doing anything the easy way, i'm setting myself a brutal time limit on this one: 30 Days.

So first, what's the difference between a fit body and a modelling physique?
the difference is HUGE. the most noticeable difference is that a modelling physique doesn't possess TRUE STRENGTH. It is purely about show muscles, definition and leanness. Though extremely unhealthy in the long run, for models, actors and people in the show business it is pretty much the norm.

The way i'm going about building such a bod, has TWO steps and ONE very important key:

Step 1: Flab Attack!

First off, target the fat. Flab is the killer of all mojo. or atleast that's the norm the media has created over time.

So that puts a lot of cardio and diet control into my routine.
1. 500 skips a day (morning)
2. 5 small protein-and-fibre rich meals a day
starting with 3 scrambled egg whites.
ending with a post workout protein shake and a bowl of cereal.
if you want help choosing a supplement, try this site: they have stores across india and guaranteed genuine products: http://www.neulife.in

Step 2: Building only 'Show' Muscle
This is what i laugh at beginners for - coz most of them naturally do this, ending up with weak bodies and chicken legs in the end. but for a show bod, you got to commit this mistake - with a vengeance!
Instead of full body workouts - you single out your muscles - the 'show' ones and work on them.
namely your shoulders, biceps, pecs and abs, abs and abs.
But i'd like to go about it a different way:

day 1: shoulder + triceps
an interesting twist to the shoulder press:

regular shoulder routine:

a bodyweight tricep workout routine:

day 2: cardio (including 4 minute mile) + abs (regular core)

day 3: pecs + biceps
my fav chest exercise routine:
a good bicep routine:

day 4: cardio (including 4 minute mile) + abs (strain and obliques)

though, me being me, i know i will also try and sneak in a legs workout and a crossfit workout on the weekends.

note: whichever muscle you are exercising, do atleast 6 different exercises for it.

THE KEY: How to train weights for DEFINITION?
Now this is important. Most people will just tell you to do weights or do cardio - without ever telling you that there is a difference even in doing weights.
the key is that when you want to build well defined muscles as opposed to just bulky muscles/size - you need to go for REDUCTION SETS.

So you start at the heaviest possible weight and do as many reps as you can till failure. then immediately, reduce the weight and repeat to failure, then yet again reduce the weight and repeat to failure - and CONTINUE REDUCING AND REPEATING TO FAILURE TILL YOU ARE PUSHING ONLY THE BAR OR A MINIMUM WEIGHT.

Do this TWICE.

Will this method work?
I've done it before and it has. and yet, i'm doing it again to see if it works even now and putting it up here for you to see if it works or not. See for yourself.
if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Weekend Photoshoot: Casual Portraits

2011-09-16T15:26:00.001+05:30

about Shivani: i do not try to sum up in words a person too beautiful for words. that's her.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Joel Fonseca: the 'product-shot' man

2011-09-14T12:13:00.006+05:30

The best part of my job is meeting really interesting and really talented people. And the kind of people i love meeting most, are people who REALLY know their job. people of sheer skill and natural or cultivated talent. One unique individual of many such people that I've met, is Joel sir. The man most of the advertising industry in india would call as the 'product-shot' man. the man is the 'A-team' of product shots!

At first glance - he's a very simple guy. a common man. with a nice big happy paunch, an easily-mistaken-for-goan personality complete with the typical mouchtache and most often wearing his unofficial uniform - a hat with an overflowing cloth, a polo tee, shorts and boots. Once you watch him work - you know that attire is not some fashion statement - its sheer hardworking functionality. He'll crack the funnies, laugh with you, take your suggestions, help you out, listen to directors, help them out, keep working with the same high level of enthusiasm through all the countless takes - but when he knows exactly the scene he wants, he most often gets it right within 3 takes or less. that's an attribute which comes from his experience (to which i shall come later).
the best part is, he does all of this, without once seeming 'all-knowing' or 'overbearing'. which once you know him work - you know that he easily could be.

What's most brilliant is the fact that he has no 'formal' or 'institutionalized' educataion on the job he does. All that he has behind him, is years of hardworking on-the-job experience - and one thing that comes naturally to him: improvisation. Which is what brings him from being a spot-boy on the sets of some big directors to being the one man the industry calls to when in need of a great product/ingredient shot.

FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW: Ingredient/product shots are those tempting little scenes within ads which make you feel the product - whether its temptation, lust, freshness, warmth or even the coolnees of a product. The fresh, cool splash of pepsi, the ooozing chocolate, the showering zestfulness of liril, the chunky wheatgrains in your biscuits - if you've ever felt these on Indian TV, you've most probably felt the work of 'Joel Fonseca'.

It's amazing to see how at ease he is with all the equipment and gadgets in his 'lab'. Equally interesting is to watch how he knows what material will have what viscosity, will look how on screen, will blend with what colour and will need how fast a frame rate to be best captured - WITHOUT AN ADVANCED DEGREE IN PHYSICS - Which i'm pretty sure you will think such a function needs if you know the demands involved.

"joel sir, we want this to splash and cross on screen" says a reputed director.
the director has the shot in his mind, but doesn't know how it will happen.
all Joel says is "ho jaayega sir." with his perpetually cool confidence.
15 mins of lots of mixing liquids and a few fountains later - poof - its done!
and it dosent stop there: "color change?" "ho jayega" "more splashy?" "ho jayega" "extra twirl in the liquid?" "ho jayega".... from my experiences with the man, i think even if you ask him to bend the very laws of physics, he'll say "ho jayega"... and get it done too! While somewhere Newton would be twirling in his grave.

His 'lab' pretty much holds the secret of his success. When you enter it there are three things that will almost always catch your eye: Joel working hard at his task, the non-flashy but extremely well equipped workplace AND a wall full of the most important ingredient in this, or any business - people.
The wall of photos of Joel at work with the various crews he's worked with are quite a walk down memory lane. Even today he continues his customary 'photo at the end of the shoot' tradition - capturing all the people he amazes with his adorable nature and hardworking presence.

By all means, truly a man worth meeting. A true gem of a person - Joel Fonseca; the 'Product-Shot' man.

-Pushkaraj Shirke

Discussing a scene with Joel during a shoot.

At the product shoot of the Sunfeast Dark Fantasy ChocoFills ad.
L to R: Zap, Me, Joel, Archana, Gemma, Pooja and Anuj.

illustration: a day in advertising

2011-08-11T16:37:00.001+05:30

24 hours in advertising.
though this artwork is ENTIRELY a work of fiction. ummmm... yeah. sure.
lol.
life's funny. roll with it ;)

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Illustration: the progress of a relationship as observed by a chemist

2011-08-10T20:03:00.003+05:30

this is just a scratch from an idea i had with a friend. i'm working on completing it :)

A Claymation Experiment

2011-08-03T20:51:00.000+05:30

THE FIGHT:
i was just playing around with clay to roughly demo a claymation concept. A fight between a green mango and mint - which ends up creating a new Minto Gol green mango variant.

Tools: this was made within half an hour on my office desk. using an ordinary Lumix digital camera, windows movie maker and some paper. the sounds have been recorded on my Blackberry phone.

DISCLAIMER: this is not meant as a commercial and has not been made for any financial purposes. this is only a personal project.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Weekend Photoshoot: Poster Project

2011-07-26T14:23:00.002+05:30

FILM and ME

This weekend i decided to create a poster that captures me with the one thing i have undying love for. and what all it means to me. And this is what i created while teaching a friend to shoot pictures. This was her first lesson on composition.

NEW PROJECT: POSTERIZED
OBJECTIVE: TRANSLATING A PERSON INTO ONE POSTER THAT SPEAKS WHAT THEY ARE/WHAT THEY LOVE MOST.
give me a holler. if you are interesting enough, i'll try designing a poster of you that captures the best of what you are.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

The Addiction

2011-07-22T16:31:00.002+05:30

Time ticks.

the senses feel solid.
Limits are limits
and gravity exists.

This moment here, the mind is level.

Level, but wanting.

“Addiction is a psycho-physiological reaction …”

And then, it begins.

The first bursts are nominal.

Slowly, the levels of intensity rise...
higher and higher and higher.

“the body reacts with an instinctive response…”
the heart struggles....
beating faster and faster and faster...

breathing becomes an effort..

the skin bursts into sweat...

the body is trying to keep up….

the pain pushes the muscles into overdrive…

“exertion burns up the stored glycogen.“

Blood is no longer blood…

It is a burning cocktail of chemical reactions…

"when the strain takes a person over a threshold, it activates endorphin production"

The rush builds and builds and builds.

Till the Hurt. The Pain. The Strain. The Pressure. The Fatigue...

They

All

break

down.

Time still ticks. But slowly.

the senses feel fluid.

Limits, don’t exist.

And for a moment, neither does gravity.

“The euphoria isn't permanent. But powerful enough to be wanted again.“

Yes. I, am an addict.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Some of My Favourite People - Iconized

2011-07-20T15:03:00.000+05:30

will upload a high res version later :)

- Pushkaraj Shirke

A Real Good Idea

2011-07-13T12:02:00.001+05:30

Illustration in progress: A Real Good Idea.
A real good idea is one that can ignore a million doubts.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

The Death of Long Copy in Advertising

2011-07-11T15:22:00.001+05:30

This, is a purposely unpublished ad. So, HOW did you find it?
Either it was recommended by a friend. Or you were probably actually intrigued by Long Copy, Advertising or Death. Well, either way, this is about the first two. So if death’s your interest, you’d want to tune out..right.. about.. now.
The others, might stay. MIGHT, I repeat. Because our attention span today is just a measly 6 seconds. Just a second more than a goldfish. (Metaphorically, flapping around aimlessly in the web bowl.)

This’ll take a minute to understand. So, if reading this keeping you from watching some ‘funny kid pooping’ youtube video or reducing a relationship to a LOL on a wall, please go ahead. This has no such thing. Go.

Don’t blame those who left. Genuine intelligence or interest is a rare asset these days.
Look around. Search Engine driven words, Gifs and funny LOL videos, memes, interactive ads. Oh so much fun! Who the fuck wants long copy? Who wants words? Who wants to read? The internet age is all about user driven material. What the people want, the people get. So if the mediocre majority wants fun more than knowledge, in a profiteering society, that’s what they’ll get. For companies fooling people into buying without thinking, the lesser people think, the better it is. They’ll sponsor the fun, if that’s what it takes! (didn’t sleazy TV shows take over your TV?)

The funny thing is, even 50% of those still reading this are probably expecting a #, bookmark, animation or some kinda share or read later tag on this. (did you think of moving your cursor on the highlight? Most would.) That’s how hasty we’ve become. Surprisingly, it takes actual effort to resist! And honestly, I’ve grown to respect those who can. And it’s for a reason. For instance, talk to a person who reads, or watches documentaries, or backpacks. You’ll see that these are people who take their time, actively pursue their interest, and in return know more than what just dazzles on the surface. Just by the way, if you are still here, you are probably one of them. Respect.

People like you. That’s what this ad is about. People who refuse to be dumbed down into temptation by just a pseudo-intelligent line and a funky visual. People who are willing to actually pay interest to what catches their attention. People who actually realize the difference between the two. It is people like you who will keep long copy alive in advertising, even after it is dead (to the masses). For no matter how heuristic driven society may get or glitzy advertising might become… there will always be people like you. People who need honest persuasion. People who appreciate the finer crafts of life. People who are willing to resist, read and think. And that’s what really matters.

So, YES, all the evidence around contemporary society does indeed prove it – right on the surface -

Long Copy in Advertising is indeed DEAD.

Pushkaraj Shirke
Creative Group Head - Copywriter Draft FCB+Ulka

PS: If you skipped directly to the last line, as most are likely to - save yourself the mockery. DON’T share this.

TRUE LOVE : the greatest concept ever sold.

2011-07-05T20:55:00.001+05:30

TRUE LOVE...
the one thing the whole world is in search of. The most powerful thing in the world.
The magical kiss of true love that freed snow-white from her curse. The magical kiss of true love by the beauty made the beast the prince again. Cinderella found her 'happily ever after' when the prince realised that she is his TRUE LOVE.
Oh! The POWER of true love - so magical, so beautiful and so...... so unreal!
- YES that's correct. UNREAL. Let's focus on that for a change.

The minute we mention 'true love' people's mind's conjure up images of romeo and juliet, disney prince and princesses, folklore legends and romantic books and movies.

You switch on the television and there are sagas of LOVE. Reality shows about 'love'. Full-day news broadcasts about fairytale romances and stately marriages of full of 'true love'.
You turn on the radio and 80% of the songs played are those that romance the concept of love.
You log on to the internet and if you are single, you are bombarded by singles sites and the prospects of finding true love. You even find pseudo psychics that tell you that what your life lacks is TRUE LOVE and you could find it if you wore a 300$ power ring or some crap like that.
if you are in a relationship - you are bombarded with info about how you could express your true love. Diamond rings and honeymoon vacations and special couple massage spas and a million other bombs in your wallet.

If you have studied advertising, you would know that FREE and SEX are the two most powerful words in advertising - they can sell almost anything. If you look deeper into advertising, you'll realize that TRUE LOVE is the one concept that actually most effectively sells anything! No matter how expensive.

Why? Because the concept of TRUE LOVE is actually an exagerration of what is clinacally reffered to as passionate love which is essentially an EMOTIONAL DRUG - clinically proven to have effects at par with cocaine. And people will do anything to get it.

You are selling a car? shoot a commercial with a romantic couple in an exotic romantic destination.
You are selling a biscuit? make your product what a very romantic couple shares between them.
You are selling a pressure cooker? for god's sake make it the PERFECT gift a PERFECT husband buys for his PERFECT wife!
Reality check - life isn't the idealized 'perfect'.

What advertising, marketing or any kind of selling (yes religion included) relies on is YOUR INSECURITIES.
Tap into an insecurity, and you can make anyone do anything.
The Pornography industry acknowledges it openly:

"our business runs due to nerds and geeks and people who'll never really date anyone nearly as gorgeous or kinky in their lives. We sell them the fantasy they'll never have. and that's business."- AVN Pornography awards show

btw, just so you know, legal or not, pornography is one of the largest and continually growing industries in the world.

Ever wonder why do most people turn towards religions that have a concept of rebirth or eternal life? coz it quenches their fears of death and helps them make meaning out of life - which they have seen is not always fair. So religion tells them - don't worry - the people who wont get justice here, will get it in the after life!

Tap an insecurity. Built a concept that soothes it. And make it available.
Then, make it THE ETERNAL TRUTH. and prove everything else bad/wrong.
That's how concepts are sold. THAT IS HOW 'CONCEPTS replace REALITY'.

-------------

Before we go anywhere, let us explore the foundations of the concept of TRUE LOVE:

cave paintings show hunting.
no 'true love'. wonder why?

From bisexual, multi-gamous, multi-androus, polyamorous animals we evolved into humans! yaaay! great! then settlements were formed.
Is that where true love and monogamy came in?

hell no - most settlements were 'bohemic' in nature. and the weaker sex often became a social property of the stronger sex. naaah! dosent sound like true love... does it? damn!
no cave art about true love either!

Lets move on. Settlements soon gave way to civillizations. is this where true love happened?
partially, yes.
Roman, Incan or Indian, no matter which civillization you take, you'll see that marriages were mostly for social benefit. Marriages to join kingdoms. marriages to unite tribes. marriages to appease those in power.
And then came literature! bammmmmm!
those who could write, wrote for the rich. the rich in turn propagated these tales. the rich managed to turn their own stories into legends of LOVE and ROMANCE and filled them with all things nice.
Caesar Cleopatra. Salim Anarkali. Prince and Princesses. Kings and Queens.
Despite being full of ornate lies and disguised truths and convenient endings, these stories became legend. Modern day advertising and PR professionals would call it paid publicity. The romances you read about in the paper about actors and actresses? Committed love and Made for each other. Yes, its the same. all bullshit.

say hello to the roman acceptance of humans as sexual beings.
a concept once celebrated in their art - as in Khajuraho, India.

Even though roman and indian societyback then in general was pretty much about social economics, orgies and multiple marriages, romance as a 'concept' of exclusivity began to thrive thanks to the favour it received from royalty.

How about Romeo and Juliet?
Hello? that's about royalty too.
People wanted an escape from their mediocre lives and literature and drama provided that.

Literature and drama about stories of TRUE LOVE provided people the escape they needed from their mediocre lives of lies and unfullfilled dreams and harsh realities. True love became the morphine to their pains.And THAT's where people realized the true power of TRUE LOVE - "damn! this shit sells!".

Since then, book after book, play after play, every mode of mass entertainment revolved around TRUE LOVE. to such an extent that it even began influencing the greatest business in the world - RELIGION.

this story, we all hear of
- radha and krishna.
the eternal romance.

We all hear about Krishna and Radha. But do we hear of Lord Krishna making love to a horde of milkmaids (at the same time, yes) as depicted in the mattancherry palace?

where did monogamy become a part of TRUE LOVE? hello? did i miss something? of course yes - the selling power of the concept of TRUE LOVE!

Where did the stories about Lord Krishna having 8 wives go?
and actually, its 1001 wives. but this you won't often hear about.

In storytelling - it is much easier to focus on just two characters and romance the universe around them rather than focus on a multitude of characters. Fewer characters make better stories and more memorable characters and therefore it became the norm. Plus, it also soothes another insecurity of human kind - the fear of loneliness and the promise of eternal accompaniment. "till death do us part" is born out of this insecurity. Why, Indian Rituals this even further - by taking 'marriage' even beyond the life - into 7 lives!
[Btw - just so that i should mention - krishna had a 1001 wives. But that ain't celebrated or understood anymore. This is SILENCED by a million self appointed MORAL POLICE BODIES. To such an extent that in India itself you are not allowed to take pictures within the mattancherry palace where these illustrations exist.]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's leave myths, religion, folklore and legend. let's step more into modern day.
But just for the sake of being more specific, lets focus on one segment - INDIA.
A country soon to have the largest population in the world - a country that fucks like wild rabbits and yet has rules about love and marriage that outdate half the planet.

If there is one mode of mass media that has the largest influence on people in India, its movies.
So let's take a trip into Bollywood - the indian hindi film industry.

quick quiz:
NAME 3 FILMS FROM THE PAST 10 YEARS THAT DO NOT CONTAIN A LOVE STORY.
you have a minute to answer.

Even if you are a hard core movie freak, the chances are you wouldnt be able to name more than one.
Why?
For the past two years, i have been speaking to producers and production houses in bollywood. And from all the interactions, there seems to be a consensus that ROMANCE and ROMANTIC COMEDIES SELL.
Why, YRF - one of india's largest film production studios has been a churning mill of only love stories and love triangles for the past 30 years!

Surprised? you shouldnt be. Look at the demographic they are addressing.
Who goes to theatres?
Couples looking for a romantic date. Desperate guys trying to get their woman feel mushy and give-in. Get lucky maybe. College crowds - whose do all and end all of life is overloaded with managing their flaring hormones.
that's 80% of your film viewing audience. NOW - what would these people want to watch?
Action - well guys maybe. a few girls. Comedy - why not! lets have some fun! Romance? WHY NOT!!!!!
Gets your partner mushy - check.
Maintains and propagates the illusion of love on which your relationship is based - check.
Does not distort the constructs your mind has made over a lifetime - check!
done deal.
so, what will bollywood make? - MORE ROM-COMS! MORE ROMANCES!
the cycle is an unending one.

the best example of the overpowering NEED for romance is the RIP-OFF tollywood and bollywood performed on MEMENTO - they took a pure psychological thriller - turned it into one big, warped, panzy love story and it became the biggest hit of the year!

Media propagates romance and the concept of true love - people fall for it - weave their lives around it - want to adhere to it even when it starts falling apart. kind of reminiscent of that age old proverb -

"small lies need have bigger wings to cover them."

and this little butterfly called TRUE LOVE has turned into an all destructive dragon!

films display true love - media propagates true love - brands sell on true love - people desperate with insecurities live on these illusions - illusion soon turn to realities - and even when the realities are shattered, people continue to hold on to them.... why, coz their entire life now revolves on believing that its TRUE!
[pretty much like the man who buys a 5000 rupee TV set for 10,000 rupees - with a lot of sacrifices at his end. When others buy it for 5,000, he knows he's been duped. BUT he'll keep on justifying his purchase with a million self proclaimed reasons despite all evidence against it. But he wont accept that he's been duped - coz accepting that would shatter the illusion that he has so painfully created to keep him sane.]

A copied Indian REALITY show is based on the human tendency to be sexually unfaithful. They catch 'CHEATERS' by making temptation available to them. And when they do cheat by giving in to temptation, they are 'caught'.

BUT it presents it in a light that this giving in to temptation, is UNNATURAL. (which is bullshit)
Yes, Commitment exists and yes, Cheating is bad, and wrong. but what is REALLY wrong and unnatural is forced fidelity/commitment. but that is not shown. because THAT, wont sell.

What you see in a TV show is what a channel wants to show you. Channels want to show whatever will increase its ratings and therefore get it more advertising selling space. not the TRUTH - why? coz nobody wants the TRUTH.
What do you think people want - a true documentary where nothing explodes? or an exciting, action packed film where everything explodes at the hint of a crash?

The whole concept of TRUE LOVE is like a huge comfort blanket bubble. People spend so much time, believing it, dreaming it and building up to it that when it finally does happen and wane away or even break - they are self blinded to the truth staring at them. They chose to believe in the illusion over the reality.

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE:
REALITY CHECK: IS THERE NO SUCH THING AS TRUE LOVE?
Love, is a valid emotion. 'true love' is a concept. and therein lies the difference.
When you love someone it is not the same as being 'in love' with someone. 'in love' is closer to the concept of 'true love'. Romanticised. Fictionalised. and SOLD to the masses.

Psychologically speaking, lets first segregate the fact from fiction.

What is popularised as 'true love' is actually what psychologists would refer to as PASSIONATE LOVE or INFATUATE LOVE. and that is actually just a PART of love.

People habituated to the widely propagated concept of 'TRUE LOVE' generally confuse love, liking and commitment to be one and the same thing - that is where they face disillusionment.

try understanding the sternberg's triangular theory of LOVE:

In a common scenario, you must have noticed that if the person who is 'in love' happens to find another person attractive or has sex with another - suddenly, the whole feeling of 'true love' vanishes! hows that? And this is more visible amongst the socially dominant sex.

This is partially and very notably because in most cases LOVE is reduced to just a matter of social principles and GENITAL SLAVERY.
Love is not regarded as an emotion, but as something dependant of social rules and popularised concepts of sexual commitment over true emotions.
But as steingberg's model correctly depicts - COMMITMENT is actually the most emotionless part of the construct of love. and most relationships in today's world are more about commitment, rather than love. and then people ask, where is the love. funny isnt it?

have a look at this venn diagram: it's desbribed in urban terms, but its a picture of reality. as is.

LOVE - SEX - FRIENDSHIP (LIKING) are three different circles that don't necessarily always overlap.

Romantic love - which is more like a drug - overpowering your senses as powerfully as cocaine (yes, its lab proven) is a physiological-emotional reaction.
It generates high levels of euphoria, fearlessness, and willingness to commit and oversee logic. BUT Love is something that naturally lasts somewhere between 18 months to three years.
And to an extent, the more you are exposed to each other, the faster it will wane off.

Is it possible to feel romantic / passionate love for more than one person at the same time?
YES. it is.
Does that mean committed relationships can last only up to a maximum of three years? don't jump to conclusions just yet. hold your horses.

Friendship/Liking - is a more long lasting emotion. Something that can last a lifetime. and therefore is much more important in a long lasting relationship that love itself at times. After the love fizzles out - you can or cannot, may or may not reignite it (yes you can). But FRIENDSHIP or LIKING an individual, lasts. maybe not for eternity or whatever, but way longer than love does.

So the whole concept of opposites attract, is pure romantic propaganda bullshit. A relationship between TRUE opposites would flicker away as fast as it burnt.

SEX - is a BIOLOGICAL NEED. just as love and friendship are psychological/social needs. Not only is it principally wrong to view them in the same balance - but it is also what makes abstinent people who disguise themselves in the guise of social power or religious godliness the most commonly known sexual predators. Coz it's unnatural! The true basic / carnal needs of human beings are FOOD, CLOTHING, SHELTER, SEX and BEING LOVED. (yes, sex and love are ACTUALLY unrelated though great when together.)
there is research (much cold-hearted as it maybe) to prove that the lack of either one of these can lead to death.
(btw - just so you know, human beings, just as every other animal on the planet are born potentially bisexual - it is common occurence for straight men convicted for long years, to turn gay in prisons and be perfectly straight again when out.)

As you would notice in the venn diagram - the most powerful relationships are those in which all three circles overlap - but it in no way suggests that THAT is the only way it can be.
it is perfectly natural to have friedns you love but dont have sex with.
you can have friends you have sex with but dont feel passionate love for.
you can fall in love with a friend/s and have sex with him/her/them. and its all still perfectly natural.

Polyamourous relationships have survived very well even in the modern day scenario - and very well too despite the social criticism. read the following excerpt from ADAM LEIS's study on polyamory:
"Can you have more than one boyfriend or girlfriend outside your marriage?" Well of course! It is very important to remember, though, that you must respect the wishes of your spouse. If they do not agree with a polyamorous, nonmogomous relationship, then perhaps you two should sit down and have a talk about what is best for each other.

Though it is importnat to note that people often use POLYAMORY or OPEN RELATIONSHIPS as a shield to be outright frivoulous and sexually irresponsible. That is NOT polyamory. Any kind of relationship that harms or disrespects the other person, is wrong. and in the long run, unhealthy at various levels.

In short, the point here is that even if polyamory is or isnt your cup of tea, the overhyped concept of sexual exclusivity, is nothing but disguised genital slavery. and that Love, is not the same as sex or liking. or vice versa.

Pop questions:
try to think deeply, put yourself in these shoes and answer these questions...
What would you do if the person you really loved and wanted to see happy would be better off being in a relationship with someone else?

If you cannot sexually satisfy the person you love and vice versa - but you both still totally love each other. and are happiest with each other. What would you do?

What if the person you love also loves someone else too and has sex with that person?

What if the person you love loves someone else too but does not have sex with that person?

These are open ended question. i'm not looking for an answer. and there's no right or wrong. just be honest to yourself and answer them. these are just to make you think. think about it.

SO, WHERE IS THE LOVE?
Love, honestly, is everywhere. It is an emotion.
it doesn't really come with conditions and social constraints.
the expectations we burden the emotion with come from our own social constructs and popularised concepts propagated by the media. Don't give in to that.

Love the people you love. Don't try to fit them into the little boxes of expectations that you have been fooled into calling TRUE LOVE.

What truly matters in a relationship with any person you like - whether romantic or not, is honesty and respect for that person and their needs. Passionate Love and Sex, if there, are the cherries on the cake. Enjoy them. from time to time. they are beautiful! BUT, never mistake the CHERRY for the entire cake - therein will lie the ache called dissapointment.

AND if you STILL want to be quixotic and chase a unicorn called 'true love' in a fairyland of rainbows, well, there's not much i can say - just be careful and don't be conned. there are a million people out there trying to sucker you.

Keep your head on your shoulders, your genitalia well protected, and your heart where it should be.

Love,
Pushkaraj Shirke

26 years. 26 Perspectives.

2011-06-23T18:14:00.001+05:30

The journey to 26. 26 chronological, human years.
It's been a ride. and a crazy one. 26 years of existence of which 20 i can clearly remember. Quarter a century of experiences that I've lived, but haven't yet bothered judging as good or bad. Mostly because that ain't my measure of life. Has it been interesting? i'd have to say definitely yes.

Every growing year has given me a lesson or two. but i wouldn't call them lessons. i call them perspectives. Cause they are not infallible or unchangeable - they are only views. Tinted views that i've found in or at specific moments of my life. And then managed to complete the toughest task of them all - persisting and withstanding the test of time.

If i were to break my experiences of life as i grew up to 26 into 26 such perspectives, what would they be?
i think these:

#26. Love your parents.
Believing that you will love your parents to the end of time is pretty much the first memory i have of life. And by parents, i don't mean just biological ones - i mean those people who 'raise' you from being a struggling, needy infant into the person you are today.

#25. Own up to your mistakes.
It can get you into really deep shit. (like this time when i set fire to my building terrace). But in the long run, its kinda nicer to not have that weight on your shoulders. and its a weirdly happy feeling. No mistake is the end of the world. and that brings me to the next one...

#24. Be happy.
It sounds too simple. but the fact is, it is. It doesn't matter who you are or what you are doing or how deep shit you are in - its easy to be happy - all it takes is you choosing to be. Even if it is for just a moment or two, be happy.

#23. It's good to share.
i don't believe in altruism. never did. but its nice to share - whether its a piece of candy or your home, heart or multi-million dollar empire. it helps you keep the faith. in others. and in yourself. much later you might even learn that you've always had enough, no matter what.

#22. Understand animals.
the power to understand someone/something who cannot express feelings in words is an art. i cant even come close to explaining how powerful this one feeling/capability is. in someways, it is one of the most influential human experiences ever.

#21. Create. Recreate. Create.
There's no destroy in this equation, cause even destruction is a form of creation. and there's hardly anything you'll find more fulfilling than creating something of your own. May it be toy houses and paper planes or ad campaings, paintings, films and actual planes.

#20. Nothing is impossible.
may it being overcoming dyslexia, social shyness or athletic in-capabilities. may it be manned moon flights, creating frankenstein or changing the world. nothing is impossible. the only factors that matter are EFFORT and TIME. ofcourse, with time you come to acknowledge the fact that some tasks may require more time and effort than the mortal human body has access to. but IMPOSSIBLE, it is NOT.

#19. More important than having 'friends' is having A friend.
its the smallest way in which you might learn the importance of quality over quantity. And you'll meet this choice at every point in life. Any given day, the person you are happy being yourself with is more important that all the people who are happy to have you around during fun times.

#18. Read books. Watch movies. and not just the bestsellers.
books and movies are essences of life dramatized in an interesting manner. they'll open your mind. or close it. depending on your approach towards them. Next to actual experiences, which as you shall discover may be not that easy to come by, these make a perfect portal to life across time.

#17. There are no rules. Only guidelines.
fact.

#16. Dance.
even if it isn't for an audience. even if its not in a public place. even if it is only in your own space. dance. it's one of the most liberating forms of expressions you'll ever know.

#15. Imitation is the mother of originality.
it took Mozart about 15 years of practicing classics to come up with one worthy original. Took da vinci years of common scribbles and reworked artworks before his own Mona Lisa. The plane is shaped like a bird. The submarine like a whale. and there are a million other examples. The thing is, practice is the closest you'll get to having a guarantee of true success. And practice begins with imitations of known perfections.

#14. Respect your body.
push it. challenge it. improve it. maintain it. its the only life-long possession your soul/life will ever own. As far as material existences go, its the only thing you have as long as you live. and vice-versa.

#13. Love hurts. a lot sometimes.
no matter how free we are in our thinking, loving someone comes with its own parcels of human fears and limitations. and even some unsaid expectations. and as the Buddha says, it is human expectations that are the root cause of pain. Sometimes, the hurt is worth it. Sometimes, not. Roll with it.

#12. You will be judged. Don't bother.
Everybody loves you when you are winning. Critiques you when you lose. But you know what? 'what will people say?' is pretty much the most encountered question to everything you do. but if whatever you is driven by your own beliefs and with a clear conscience, the question and the consequences, very well find their deserving place - beneath your shoes, in indifferent existence.

#11. Your forgiveness matters only when you are powerful enough to punish.
One of the most important lessons in a material world is this one. One of the core teachings in every art of war treatise ever written. And a timeless truth. Cause true, you may be truly all-forgiving in your nature, but to a world that is conditioned to a cause-and-effect way of things, if your wrath isn't feared, your forgiveness isn't valued either. (this is by far the only art-of-war philosophy i follow)

#10. Sex is form of expression.
But having said that, like every other form of expression, it ain't necessary to express yourself just for one purpose or just in one form. Some times we talk just for fun, some times we rap, some times we sing, beat box, make nonsense sounds, rock the stage, talk rubbish, just chat up, make speeches, enact plays or have conversations that change the world. Through it all, we are still just expressing ourselves, right? Same as sex.

#9. Don't take life too seriously. It doesn't take you seriously either.
pooooof! here today. gone tomorrow. missed today. forgotten tomorrow. relax. life, goes on. :)

#8. Even superheroes have mentors.
honestly, even if you are a freakkin genius, having a mentor who's been down a similar path cuts down your need to make the same mistakes by atleast 50%. Upto a limit, the more mentors you have the better. Beyond a point, you'll only be busy avoiding their mistakes instead of making your own and learning from them. choose wisely - some may even be wolves in sheep skins.

#7. Institutions are pretty much a waste of time.
whether its schools, corporations, marriages, cults, jails or asylums,' institutions' are mostly material manifestations of human insecurities. What we humans get insecure about, we frame into a socially accepted institutions - whether its the fear of losing a person you love, being exposed to a murderer, sharing space with a lunatic or even facing 'change'. None of them really matter.

#6. Revenge is a sacred emotion.
Few experiences in the universe will be sweeter than well deserved revenge. But be careful with this one. make sure its worth it. For its like nitrous in your engine. or steroids in your veins. too much, too long, and it will consume you. your life. and everything you love. even itself.

#5. Manage your time.
yeah superhero, even you have limited time in this human form. No matter who you are, time will take its toll. on a daily basis. on a yearly basis. and with age. So respect it. Prioritize.

#4. Money is only a medium. But an important one none-the-less.
money can't buy you happiness is cliche. and true. yet what i found out is that in a world based on a monetary system, money is the material equivalent of love and respect. if you work for free, you aren't valued. And it becomes a vicious cycle. So make all the money you can, and give it away to those who need it more or use it to create resources for the future if you don't want it. but MAKE IT. make as much of it as you can without compromising on your life and happiness.

#3. Your child's trust is the greatest responsibility you'll ever face.
explaining this would need a book of three volumes. at least.

#2. Love unconditionally.
people love 'being in' love. without realizing that they aren't really loving, but just re-living concepts created by us humans. Concepts are mental institutions popularized by society and media to sell goods and hide insecurities. True love to me, is the ability to love unconditionally and with absolute honesty. Irrespective of peoples pasts and habits, irrespective of whether it involves being in a relationship or not, having sex or not, being together or not, or any other material hindrance there may be in the world. That, to me is how love is. (and you are free to have your own view, this is mine.)

#1. You've always had everything you'll ever need.
it takes one lead bullet to kill a millionaire. one lead bullet to kill a pauper. the same for a rabbi. the same for a sinner. the same for everyone. Death is the greatest equalizer of all. What ever you have while you are alive, scarcity or plenty, less or more, is just a matter of perception. And perception only exists as long as you are alive. so really, what do you have? what do you need? everything material is possibly achievable with time and effort. and as long as you have a body and a mind, and some time, you'll get it sooner or later depending on the lengths you are willing to go to. Whatever efforts you make, sacrifices you make, time you put in and priorities you reshuffle in this quest, what matters most is that you are at peace with yourself amidst it all. That's the key to happiness. To life.

26 years of life have shaped these 26 perspectives. And as i step into the another year, i wonder which of these will change ahead? or will they? i wonder what new perspectives will be shaped in the coming years? will there even be coming years? i wonder how will these perspectives shape me?

Actually, i wonder, but i ain't bothering too much. Cause however life may be, its still beautiful. its still the same roller-coaster ride with its ups and downs. And i look forward to all it has with hungry gleaming eyes of a 7 year old looking at a pile of chocolates.

Happy Birthday, to me!

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Weekend Photoshoot: episode 3

2011-06-16T11:16:00.000+05:30

Yet another weekend. An adorable friend (Akriti Srikanth). And my camera - the Olympus e-450.
This is what we end up creating :)

Oh and btw, Akriti is a hyper intelligent to-be engineer, sings like a dream and is an absolute gym addict. And a sweetheart :) her pretty looks are just a decoy to her adorable persona :)

PS: the more weekends i get the more i'm sure that 'an idle mind is a brilliant workshop!' :P
and its a monkey's workshop in my case :)

cheers!

- Pushkaraj Shirke

The Art-direction Allstars : iconic objects that denote visual character in cinema

2011-06-06T14:57:00.003+05:30

Title: Character is an Object #Cinema

Medium: Pen on paper
Style: Illustration
When it comes to cinema, the 'visual' medium, every object is a character.
Whether its Don Corleone's Cigar and Whiskey in Godfather, or Bruce willis's gold watch in pulp Fiction, or a Tube TV in Soylent Green, or a Zippo in the n number of action flicks. The 'objects' are a conscious choice cause they add to the character. they tell a story even when the character's face cant be seen or dialogues cant be heard. And within their own space on the screen, they are the silent heroes and villans and lovers and haters of the story.

This is a tribute to some of the best of them.

work in progress... at a cafe/post a shoot.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Are You Really FREE? and WHY Does The Inflation Never Cease?

2011-06-02T18:52:00.003+05:30

Let's start with DEMOCRACY.
Democracy - the ultimate icon/symbol/epitome of PEOPLE's control...
Democracy, as a concept itself is a sham.

Think about it...
at any given time - in whichever country practicing democracy, there are only two prevalent bodies eternally in power. and they are actually one and the same - only divided so that people have the illusion of choice or control.
these bodies control the media, they have the funding to promote themselves - for which in turn they support and facilitate the organisations that fund them, and it is these two bodies that hog people's awareness. and given that AWARENESS is the greatest motivator in a democracy, and money can buy awareness - it is them that will always stay in power unless we shun the system - or replace it.
Every medium of awareness is controlled by financial bodies.
News, media, even the internet for that matter is FUNDED.
For the bodies in power, all that matters is staying rich and staying in power.
They create the borders, they create quotas and reservations and conflict to bag votes, they fuel poverty and scarcity, they create unrest - to stay in power. They are funded by companies and propagated by supporting media. Which in turn, they support when in power.
All the time giving people the illusion that they have been CHOSEN - for when you are given the feeling that you have chosen something, you are more likely to accept it.

This illusion of CHOICE applies to even India's independance.
Did India really WIN its independance?
or did the british just hand over the country because there was nothing more left to suck out of it?
And wasn't india divided on the need for power rather than for the people - into two countries, india and pakistan? hasn't almost every division ever been purely for power rather than the people?
Think.
Why did the British impose its own currency on its colonies?ponder over these words of a very very wise man, for they are true:

"i believe that banking institutions are more dangerous than standing armies - if the people allow banks to control the issue of currency... the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of their property until their children wake up homeless on the very lands their fathers conquered!"
-Thomas Jefferson

Secondly, the SOCIAL STRUCTURE we live in. It is a system based on MONETARY LAWS - and as long as that continues, it will always be a downward spiral unless you choose economics over ethics to such an extent that we reach a point that the only survivors r those that are absolutely unethical.
Which is why CHINA is a flourishing economy - its almost INHUMANE.
The only way out of this whirlpool is slowly but steadily branching out on a system that's skill and technology based, over a system that monetarily driven. to a system that's more symbiotic and autonomous rather than fuelled by MONEY. the ideal case scenario would be a society where skills and capabilities have precedence over money. where for eg, doctors are doctors not because they come from families that are rich and therefore can afford high fees and then get rich by performing expensive surgeries... where doctors are doctors because they are capable of doing what a doctor needs to do.

Take note of this little clippet. These are priceless words from the movie NETWORK containing a VERY important truth - THE WORLD IS A BUSINESS:

not so surprisingly, all of these clips were disabled for embedding on youtube. which is why i've had to rip them and post them here.
( PS: You think the internet is FREE? go search the RSA animate video of INTERNET on youtube)

=========
ARE WE HELPLESS AGAINST THIS 'SYSTEM'?
Understand this: The monetary system is designed in away that the pre-existent rich, take loans to AVOID taxes and therefore make MONEY out of taking loans. while the poor or the monetarily unprivileged, take loans and end up paying years of intrest on it - thus getting enslaved by the monetary system.the current system is a mechanism that was started ages ago to ensure that the pre-existent rich, stay rich. it is a disguised form of slavery - where now there are more slaves than ever - and more importantly, the slaves have an illusion of FREEDOM - which they cherish.

pay close attention to the words of the architect in this little snippet from the movie, the Matrix:

yes this, though a work of fiction, is true. cause the greatest works of fiction are those based on reality.
the movie itself is based on french philosophies founded on indian scriptures derived from ages of observation of human nature. and too bad you are indeed a part of the system is depicts.
You THINK you are FREE. but truly think about it - when was the last time you took a leave from work when you felt like it?
do you work to live? or live to work?

every single day the number of people who work day by day for their sustainance, is increasing. day by day more and more control of people's lives is going into the hands of govts and corporations.
the current system is a wheel that ensures that only 4% of the population (the rich) will always continue controlling 80% of the world's finances - allowing for a few upsets and anamolies to provide for hope, so that the wheel keeps turning the same way without any opposition/unrest.

So what can we do about it?
FOR NOW, the least we can do is AVOID TAKING LOANS - unless its for making more money.the more you try to break out of the system, the more the system will try to encroach upon you. they NEED you to keep your money in their banks. they NEED you to be tracked at every expense. they NEED you to be DEPENDANT on them, and them alone. So ofcourse when you try to break away, it will not be taken easily. so even you have to tread cautiously and steadily towards your own self-governance.
coz our system is built in such a way that the RICH get richer by taking loans... while the POOR get POORER by taking loans.

- Avoid credit cards. Live within your means - dont fall for the encouraged stereotypes of 'SUCCESS'.

- Don't take loans for depreciating assets (cars, bikes, furnishing and other things that dont increase in value).

- Try to be as Self Sufficient as possible. Do not 'DEPEND' entirely on a JOB/GOVT/SYSTEM.

the biggest obstacle you might have to overcome is your own belief developed over years of conditioning.... "i need money to survive."money is a 'means' - a means that has convincingly and purposely been portayed as the GOAL by the systems of the modern world. What you truly need is only the skill and the desire to survive - excel - and pursue your happiness.
and that, is the unbiased truth.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Illustration: the segmented mind / creativity Vs logic

2011-05-26T12:37:00.003+05:30

title: the segmented mind
style: illustration
medium: pen on paper

The mind is like a puzzle. a box of goodies. when classified broadly, its just 2 parts. the left brain that rules the world of logic and reason... and the right brain which is always a chaos of ideas and creativity and imagination. For each person the combination the unique... and depends on how much they prefer, and are capable of using a specific side of the brain. but in an ideal case scenario - its a perfect balance. where the ideas create the reality and the reality inspires the ideas... and endless circle within the box we call the brain.

for a better understanding of the concept:

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Self Portrait: Magazine Cover Project

2011-05-23T18:49:00.000+05:30

TIME magazine: Pushkaraj Shirke and his Flights to Imaginationland.

the curse of a good photographer is that you click good photos of everyone, all you friends have awesome looking profile pictures clicked by you - but YOU get ledft with the funny, dorky looking pixellated photos clicked some random evening ata party, by a half drunk, half grazing friendly neighbourhood zombie.

So i decided to get myself ONE decent pic. it was ages since i clicked a profile pic for FB - that was not self shot by a mobile camera like in my teenage years - or against a bathroom mirror to check my physical fitness progress like a lab rat. So one lazy weekend, i thot - hey why not click one for myself. Use that bloody tripod, use my cam self time, and that mother hell of a software that i spent ages learning on my own - photoshop - and come up with a nice one.

and presto! this is what i did!
TIME magazine: Pushkaraj Shirke and his Flights to Imaginationland.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Poorabie khare: Complicatedly Simple

2011-05-10T17:51:00.000+05:30

Chubby, spectacled, petite. with a penguin like waddle in her walk. Frizzy hair that she obviously dosent give a damn about. Probably a back pack on her back - which is most probably full of stuff she's carrying for r others. Lost in a book maybe or listening to music.
If you ever come across her, you probably wouldnt even realise that you are wading around a storm of ideas, an ocean of thoughts and a giant jukebox of hindi songs. you wouldnt even have an idea. and by the time you'd discover it, you'll most probably be way too smitten already.
Atleast that's the effect she has on most people. without even trying.
actually, forget the word 'trying'. She won't even try. ever.
if she wants to, she will.
That's her. Poorabie Khare.
the most understated, unboastful, simple and silent storm of calm you'll ever come across.

In a world of people that are trying hard to prove this, to prove that, to do this, to do that... she's like a rock. well capabale of crashing all those shuddering, free sailing ships. well capable of anchoring them. she'll do either - without a reason at all. atleast that's how it would seem to those who dont know her.
You try pushing her, and you'll get nowhere. you try pulling her, she'll move without moving atall. she'll hold her ground... and you won't even know she did. infact, you might feel you won - until you realise, it was just the tides that moved under your hull. the rock stands where it is. right in the middle of that ocean. maybe just moving when it wants to - but you'd never know.

She's got more words and ideas than you could count. Her little scribbles, as and when they seep out, are genuine.... full of reality... painted in the undeniable truth that will keep you tied. a rare talent in a writer of any kind. yet she's comfortable doing her job as a 'peceptively' uncreative client servicing executive in a highly 'creative' agency. and doing it well. and loving it. Once you know her, you cannot help but pity the typically young upstart 'im so intelligent and creative' copywriter who might think she's just another drone in teh world of advertising. (atleast that's what most people think people in advertiisng servicing depts are).
What does she do for a job? she sells ideas. no big deal there. but she does it with absolute honesty. with no lies on her cv and no deceit in her mails. no fake excuses on her phonecalls and no exagerrations in her presentations. It's difficult to get used to - but its something this world needs a lot more of. If you put yourself in a client's shoes, you'll know exactly why. She's that one person you'd feel safe trusting your brand with. Same as you'd feel if you were a person - she's the one person you'd feel safe trusting yourself with. and it comes effortlessly. maybe with time. sometimes with instinct.

She'll laugh with abandon. Cry at a movie. No she wont bother hiding her tears if any. but she wouldnt bother bothering you with them either. She'll laugh at the stupidest jokes you crack. probably she's laughing at you - but you'd never know. It dosnt matter, coz she won't be laughing in malice. She crack something stupider just a few seconds later. She'll talk up a storm. and then be entirely silent. She'll walk with you and then jump in a puddle. You never know. She won't pity you for your tears. She won't shun you for them either. She'll be there while you let it out. and be there even after. she'll let you learn your lessons without telling you right or wrong - she'll be holding your cycle when you need it and letting go when you're not looking. Maybe you'll scarpe a knee or two with her. but you'll keep learning. And then she'll bid you goodbye and then still stay with you. And you might move a million miles away, but she'll still be there with you.

Some say she's too difficult. some feel she's too complicated. A few might even think there's just no way you can figure her out. but hey, the point is - why do you bother figuring out? why do you want to label people and put them in boxes? have you ever considered that maybe you yourself are so sold to the idea of complication and being contrived that you see even the existence of simplicity as a complicated occurence?

Some people, just are. No tangles. No reasons. No big twists in the tale. honest and true and unmoving. almost unbelieveable. That's her. My rock. My tower. My fortress of solitude. Poorabie Khare. She's Complicatedly Simple.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

a happy state of mind

2011-05-08T23:55:00.002+05:30

title: a happy state of mind

medium: pen on paper

status: incomplete (colour pending)

how would it be if you could see inside my head when i was happy on the inside. what is a happy state of mind?

maybe a soft, crumbling muffin? a gold fish, an old song... a long road into the sunset, a breakfast in bed? a waterfall in the jungle, a strum on the guitar, a few happy notes, cotton candy clouds?

a song for her? happy memories of her, the touch of her hands.... the sound of her name?

a weird snowman, a few happy aliens, lots and lots of rainbows? candy canes and christmas?

or maybe all this and more?

it's just a feeling... a feeling words can't describe. this happy... happy state of mind.

-Pushkaraj Shirke

pic: clicked by d phone cam while being sketched.

People are Real. Books are Not.

2011-05-06T17:51:00.001+05:30

i'm introducing a new tab to my blog - PEOPLE.
and here's why:

In my observations, i've seen that when we turn to books and scriptures and published material to learn things, we only get a perspective. we only get what's considered 'right', 'correct', 'beneficial' in the perspective of the publisher, the govt, the commercial propagator, the governing body. more than that, over time, some facts get omitted. some things are shadowed and certain parts kept away.

it is for that reason that i find my most intresting pieces of knowledge - parts that are really worth knowing and learning, in people. real people, that i come across in life. everyone brinngs a new story to the table. a new part to the puzzle of life. everyone has their own quirks, their own highs, their own lows, their own perspectives, their own personality - EVERYONE, no matter how big, small, weird sane, logical or crazy, has something to share - only legible if you are reading, listening, absorbing what they have.

this little project of mine, is just that.
my notes on life.
notes on what I see... in the most amazing people i come across.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

the practical 4 days a week workout

2011-04-29T11:53:00.000+05:30

that's me - on the 4DAW workout
and after the 'get back in shape' workouts

Given my work schedules and my need to indulge in various hobbies besides workingout, i dont have all the time in the world.So i've created a workout routine that requires me to workout only 4-days a week and yet keeps me fighting fit.

So i workout 2 hours each - on any three working days and any one weekend day. reasonable?

I don't follow any diet anymore - but i keep the most important 2 words in mind - MODERATION and TAPERING:

Moderation: i eat all kinds of foods, but even when i go out partying, i make sure not to go overboard with the binging. enjoy the taste, enjoy the food, bite in - but know when to stop. you aren't really going to get a medallion for chowing down a universe or something.

Tapering: i make sure i eat a heavy breakfast, a medium sized lunch and a very light dinner. and throw in 2 low cal snacks in between. keeps my metabolism running, and the fat storage stystem in my body on a shut-down.

When it comes to the workout, i've created a hybrid workout that ensures that every muscle in my body is exerted turn by turn. I've refrained from using the typical MUSCLE BY MUSCLE workout routines coz i dont want to be a bodybuilder. My OBJECTIVE is to stay FIT. So this is how my 4 days of workout go:

Day 1: Upperbody
The usual upper body workouts - 2 sets each of max weight possible to 15 reps.
Chest. Shoulder. Delts. Back. Biceps. Triceps. Forearms.
I pay extra attention to Shoulders and triceps as those are my weakness thanks to my teenage years neck injury. You should pay extra attention to what your weakness is. extra attention = 2 additional exercises.

Day 2: Legs and Abs
I consider legs and the core to be the most important muscles in the body. in a fight, its the legs that keep you standing and the core that drives your power. So i club both of these together and give them one exclusive day of sweat shedding, muscle ripping pain. 6 different exercises for both - 3 sets each.

Day 3: Cross fit
CrossFit is a workout regimen that incorporates exercises for each of ten fitness domains: cardiovascular/respiratory endurance, stamina, strength, flexibility, power, speed, agility, balance, coordination, and accuracy.

though, i only incorporate parts of it in my workout. That's because without guidance, this is one regime that can go awfully wrong. CHRONICALLY wrong.

Day 4: Cardio and Complete Circuit
this is best done with LORDS OF ACID and BODIES and other high tempo awesome music on the playlist #justsaying ;)
This day is dedicated to SPEED and STAMINA.
Sprint for a mile. Run two or three miles.
4 minutes of hell
Exercise a single set of every muscle, of every machine in the gym - one after the other in any order - with only 15 secs break in between.
Then again steep climb/speed walk a few miles.
Punch. Kick. Stretch.

and that is how this monster rolls!
if you are following this, let me know. I'll help you out with any hindrances that you may face.
keep away from talwalkars and stay fit and all these crappy get fit fast scemes. stay away from lose weight quick scams and as far as possible - unless you have a professional reason (modelling or sports is your profession), or a metabolic necessity, stay away from nutritional supplements. And if you do go for supplements, go for the best. (ON, BSN and VPX are highly reliable brands - for more detailed info about effective supplements, visit http://www.neulife.in/ )

cheers!
Pushkaraj Shirke

PS: in case you dont know it already, THIS is 4 minutes of HELL:

God is a Curious Child #japan

2011-04-19T16:15:00.001+05:30

Title: GOD IS A CURIOUS CHILD # JAPAN
Medium: Pen on Paper
Style: Line Art Illustration

Incidents like the wave of eartquakes and Tsunamis in japan make you ponder if there is a god. and/or if there is, what is he doing? is there a plan behind this? or is this just an accident. this illustration was my version of that pondering....

It reminds me the time when i was a child and my mother got me this gorgeous little battery operated chimpanzee that would do funny little somersaults... and i loved it. it was my favourite toy. and then one day when i was home alone, i just wanted to see if the toy would do similar somersaults even in water, and off it went into a tub full of water. to my dismay, it just drowned. and later i discovered that it would never work again. Iwas heartbroken. i loved that toy... but just out of curiosity, i had ended up destroying it. I wasnt mean or hurtful. Infact, i ended up causing myself much more hurt than could ever be repaired that night.

so maybe... just maybe... even god is just a curious little child ... filling his toy tray with water not knowing exactly what would happen... but stricken with equal sadness at the havoc unleashed.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Get Back in Shape - THE FINALE!

2011-04-06T11:43:00.000+05:30

phew! at d end of 3 months & 3 regimes

I started at 72 kgs - 3 months ago.
with a flabby tummy and out of shape thanks to my 6 month sabbatical and road trip.

It took me 30 days to cut down 6 kgs.
i blogged the routine on my FIRST SELF IMPOSED CHALLENGE TO LOSE 6 KGS IN 30 DAYS.

Then 30 more days to lose 4kgs of flab whilst building muscle to maintain shape. Which was blogged in the second episode.

finally came the task of building washboard abs in the last 30 days.
again while building muscle mass and not piling any fat.

Finally now, i'm at 64 Kgs.
all muscle. minimal fat. and at the end of my 3 month regime!

lost 12 kgs of fat. built 4 kgs of muscle.
time to chill in goa and indulge in some guilty pleasures - and yummy sea food :)

Then its back to a new routine - to build a solid core/8-pack once i'm back at work :)
will try and blog that routine too.

Cheers!

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Passport Woes - my encounter with Indian government's epic quixoticism!

2011-03-28T17:28:00.001+05:30

Being honest and upright in India, is a bitch - its a royal pain in the ass that's worse than being ass raped by 200 rabid goats and bulls!
the ultimate epitome of the trial for the honest indivividual, is the task of obtaining a passport in india.
my 4 year long ordeal is an epic example of the same. recently imoved to bangalore, so i decided to attempt applying for a passport again...
but this time, im blogging my journey - let's see how it goes.

first i go to the site of the regional passport office - it states that i need to have a long list of documents to get a passport - lemme check now:

(a) Electors Photo Identity Card (EPIC);
i have it. but it is of my mumbai address - where btw, i do not live anymore - and was a rented house anyways, so i bet it wont count.

(b) Service Identity Card issued by State/Central Government, Public Sector Undertakings, local bodies or Public Limited Companies;
wtf is that? if you mean a pan card, yes i have it. but again of an address where neither me nor my family lives anymore. so i guess that wont count either??
will it Shri SM Krishna, Minister of External Affairs????

(c) SC/ST/ OBC Certificates;
im neither. so dont have them.

(d) Freedom Fighter Identity Cards;
no, i dont have any of these. move on.

(e) Arms Licenses;
these neither. im not in politics nor was i brought up in delhi you see. im just a 25 year old advertising bitch!

(f) Property Documents such as Pattas, Registered Deeds etc.;
i have all house documents for the past two years - but i've been living on rent as im independant.
but i don't believe the indian goverment gives a fuck about independant people, coz from my enquiries at the mumbai office, they say i need to have owned the house or lived there for atleast 3 years.
now, if i could afford my own house at age 22, i wouldnt be independant and trying to make a living, would i?
oh, unless you want me to live in an illegal chawl, lick a corrupt politicians ass and get myself a proof of residence like many people i know have done - successfully!

(g) Rations Cards;
well, the adress on the ration card is that of mumbai - and of a house in which my family lived 14 years ago. i dont think that counts. since we moved out of that house, we never made a ration card again, coz we never owned a house again. and i've been travelling and moving homes due to my work and coz of the fact that i live alone. is that my fault?
and our incredible government dosent allow me to make a ration card on a rented house... what am i to do about that???? go live in a chawl again??? or suck up to another politician?

(h) Pension Documents such as ex-servicemen’s Pension Book/Pension Payment order, ex-servicemen’s Widow/Dependent Certificates, Old Age Pension Order, Widow Pension Order;
at 25, i dont think i qualify for pension. so NO i dont have this.

(i) Railway Identity Cards;
Bangalore has a railway???

(j) Income Tax Identity (PAN) Cards;
yes i have it. but again the address registered on it is of a house i dont live in anymore. my tax returns are filed by my CA in mumbai and he manages my accounts and collects my returns. i'm sure i can't give his address as my permanent address now. can i?

(k) Bank/ Kisan/Post Office Passbooks;
my only steady bank account is the one that one of my 6 employers had made for me 6 years ago. it is registered on their office address. so i'm sure that wont count either.
the rest have had mailing address based on the houses that i lived in - with friends, on rent and provided by my work.
i'm sure that are of no help to you guys either. right?

(l) Student Identity Cards issued by Recognized Educational Institutions;
i quit college 6 years ago. so.... well u get the drift.

(m) Driving Licenses; and
again, driving licence is of the mumbai house i lived in back in 2005... nobody lives there anymore. and it was rented. so i guess that wont count either? right?

(n) Birth Certificates issued under the RBD Act.
oh wow! finally one document i do have! my birth certificate!
will that help?
oh, maybe i should mention that it states that i was born in Boisar. but i have lived in mumbai. and now bangalore. does that make a difference?

so, can anyone help me get a passport so that i can finally travel abroad to collect the international awards i've won for my work?
so that i can finally travel abroad to shoot the films that i've written?
so that i can finally visit a place out of my own country and own a passport that says that I've lived in india for the past 25 years and am yet stupidly emotional enough to say that I'm proud to be an Indian????

Someone? anyone? Mr. Manmohan Singh, are you listening?

- Pushkaraj Shirke

weekend photoshoot: episode 2

2011-03-28T12:14:00.000+05:30

a fuh-nee, cow like pal with a rabbitty smile (aka Mukta Lad) + my Olympus DSLR + one table lamp = weekend photoshoot: episode 2

WHINY THE MOO

PS: i've never endured so much nagging just for a facebook profile photo!!! phewww!

and yes, this one here's my personal favourite of the lot:
(mu ha ha ha ha ha ha!)

- Pushkaraj Shirke

a swan on my window...

2011-03-25T17:23:00.000+05:30

a small wound on my leg is bleeding.
its the usual day otherwise. cloudy morning. people too lazy to claim their weekend sleeping in. quiets roads and busy barber shops. but for one motorist who's got some reason to rush back home - who knocks into me as i step across that fateful gate.

"fuck" i mutter "dude... look where you're going"
he almost misses the brown stray who scampers away as soon as the bike halts.

the biker looks more worried than me. don't know the physics of how exactly it happened in that one short screech of a moment but there's a stin on my leg and blood is just beggining to trickle down my denims.
"sorrry sorrry!" he's petrified as people gang up to interfere.

"im ok... its ok" i wave away the people with a light gesture and the guy restarts his bike and hurries on.
i dust off my clothes and walk on towards the place where i'm supposed to meet a friend for brunch. and what lies behind that gate is something i'd never really expected. something i wont be able to explain for a long long time.

as i walk in, i see her. she's just another woman. nothing special - i heuristically judge by the auto-pilot system every man is born with. she's not even my 'type' - if there's such a thing that is.
no black nailpaint. no tattoos. no glares that hide her eyes. not even an athletic figure. she's just sitting there simply in her black embroidered kurti and white denims. like buddha under the tree. only that she's got no halo around her - instead she's got her silky hair in a small bun kept in place with a little wooden pin. she's writing in a little notebook that seems expensive.

A tiny roughly made candy paper origami swan sits beside her.

I 'm used to evaluating people and it's a function of myself that i can't really stop anymore. i size up people and categorize them - no one's special - everyone fits into one of the 24 categories i know. and it's pretty perfect.
i haven't even walked upto the lobby as yet, and she's already a specimen. filed. and placed.

plinkkk. plinkkk.
my cell beeps and i pick up to answer, turning around expecting to see my friend walk in from the gate.

"dude, i'm so sorry. i'll be 10 mins late."
"as usual" i smile as if she can see my smile. "its ok. im already here. buzz me when you reach. come fast."
she mumbles something on the other end - or actually, that's just what i can make out as i passively switch off the call as i turn around again to sit on the stairs. She's right opposite me. still writing something.

a stray walks up to her from nowhere. and she's mildly shocked for a moment. is she that delicate? stupid chick! i speak to myself in my head. but then she sees the dog looking up to her and lays aside the book. she quells her fear and reaches out her hand to the dog who curiously comes up to it and touches it with his snout - touching her fingers with a tiny acknowledging lick. and i think that's the moment it happened. she smiles like she's never had such a moment ever before.
its as if eve touched another living creature for the first time. she's full of surprise and amazement and excitement and all kinds of emotions powerful enough to make her fair cheeks blush up with joy. and over-ride that still existent minute wall of fear.
and she looks up at me with that smile still on her face....

yes, that's the moment.
all those little files in my head are scattered. infact, for that one moment, there's no file drawer itself anymore. its a clean, empty desk. maybe with a candy paper origami swan on it at the most.

i smile back out of reflex. definitely not intentionally - coz im way too confused at having my mind behave this way. and then i smile again, this time intentionally as i walk up to her seeing that she's still a little afraid.
"he wont bite. he likes you."
and she says the most unusual response i've ever heard to that statement: "i feel it." she smiled. "i like him too".

my walk almost pauses as i slow down - amused. most people would say 'are you sure?'.. 'oh he's so cute!'.. 'do you know him'... or some similar usual chatter. but not her. she had already established a mutual reciprocation of emotions between them. and the dog seemed to understand that.
he needed to be loved. and she was capable of loving. it was that simple to them both.

and i stood there, still trying to find a file, again.
the origami bird on the table is the same bird she's left behind under the tree with her diary.

"he seems hungry" i say looking at his frail frame.
"come, let's get him some food" she quickly responds.
my mind says - helllo! you don't even know me and now you want me to go with you and get the dog some food? yes i love dogs. but 'let US get him some food?' that's only the second sentence we spoke!
and yet for some strange reason, i find myself complying to that request... maybe coz a hint of that smile still lingers there.

i pet the little brown mutt and he scampers along with us back to the gate side chai-tapri.
"you shouldn't ignore that cut you know" pointing at my leg she speaks in a clear voice that sounds much like genuine concern... looking at me with those eyes that seem to belong to a 5 year old...
and i realise that i'm walking with a limp - and yet had no sense of the pain all this while. what's wrong with me???

"bhaiiyaaaa... ek packet biscuit dena" she squeaks in the tiniest little kitten voice i've ever heard. and that's pain vanished again as she leans over the shelf for the biscuits i notice her again.
yes again. post my heuristic analysis of her. those soft breasts aren't shoved up with any padding - they seem to melt onto the hard wood of the shelf as they graze against them.
her kurti extends right upto the lower line of her not athletically shapely but yet existent buttocks. her white denims hiding her frail legs that taper down into her pink, out of place pumas.
who wears white denims with pink pumas? seriously???

the judgemental bitch in me is on overdrive but i end up saying "sweet shoes!" and smile. why? i don't know. but they do seem very sweet on her. in fact it would be tough to find anything that would not ook sweet/gorgeous/wonderful on her.
why? she isnt something dropdead gorgeous! where are those files??? and what's that stupid origami bird doing on my table?

she hands the shopkeeper a 5 ruppee coin and turns around
"bad bad habit"
i'm taken aback. did she see me check her out? or is she speaking about my files? oh come on - how would she know! stupid me.
"eh???" i ask with a monosyllable.
she sits down, opening the biscuit pack "sit stupid!" she says while feeding the dog. "show me your leg."
am i missing something here? i think as i continue complying, placing myself on the bench while saying "naaah! its alright!"
"shut up and show me"
i like her. do i? i do. i think.
but why? no way. shut up. where are those files gone? i need to look for more clues.
the dog is now munching on the biscuits as i pet him with one hand and pull up my denims with the other.

"do you order around all strangers you meet?" i ask with a laugh
"that depends on what you mean by strangers - or how you define strangers. right?"
something's wrong here. why is she speaking my words? this is what i say.
i want to know her. i need to know her.
i look at her as she cleans my cut with some water and i could have sworn it was a wound a while back.
"its just a cut"
"yeah. silly biker. the world's full of strangers who are friends right?"
she giggles and blinks both eyes like a kid as if she caugh me playfully taunting her.
that smile again. i need to know her better but my friend will be here any moment.
should i get her number? she seems to be nice. very nice. ok, whom am i fooling? - i'm smitten!

"it'll heal ok?" she prescribes her care in those words. bleeeep bleeeeep. she looks at her silver plated cell.
and as i smile in acknowledgement of her mothering. that's when she drops those words : "i need to go now. you take care."
i'm taken aback again - she was right here this instant. what happened now. "why?" i ask
but without an answer she scurries away like the dog after the accident. before i can put my denim down n follow her out, she's almost into her yellow little car.

as she turns to sit inside, the kurti gets caught on the door and peels away with a small tear at the seams.
small enough to allow a glimpse of her white waist, with small brown circular patches. and a streak running up towards her breast.
is that a tattooo????? that's strange! who is she? and what happened?
she shrugs it off and sits in. shuts the door and the engine revs to life. and she drives away.
the cut dosent hurt anymore. where did she go? did we even have that bizzare encounter? and how could i forget to even ask her name???

wait. should i even bother. this is stupid.

plinkkk. plinkkk.
my cell goes off again. "im at the gate, where are you?"
"just coming!"
i shrug it off. i go hug my friend at the gate.
we walk towards the stairs and im walking without a limp.
"sorry i got late. lets go eat, im hungry...."
im listening as we are walking in and those words fade away as i look at that paper swan still under the tree. the diary was gone. i wonder who took it? she was gone. i wonder why?

"just a minute." i walk down the stairs back to the tree, pick up the little swan, smile, shrug my head and walk back to the stairs.
"what's that?"
"... just a swan" i say as we rush up the stairs together.

at night i sleep. without a limp. just a bruise. the files are back on my desk. but there's no file for her. there's just a swan for that. and a lot of questions... a lot of questions that make me smile.

actually, the swan's not really on my desk. the swan's on my window.... and i'm falling asleep.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Weekend Photoshoot - episode 1

2011-03-17T12:12:00.000+05:30

my friend Roxanne Burczyk came down from belgium. we had a lazy free weekend afternoon. and i had my camera. therefore - a weekend photoshoot.
Thanks Roxie.
love,
Pushkaraj Shirke

I've been tagged - again! new quiz!

2011-03-14T10:57:00.001+05:30

Chirag tagged me (coz i read his blog! damn!) so now i have to post this confessional note:

A) Five things in my room (hey! stop peeking!)
1. the most awesome movie station you've seen - with 750 movie dvds + a PS2 and PS2 dvds
2. a red guitar and lots of song notes
3. pets: my dog, yes my dinosaur like son sleeps in my house. and a KOALACOWtm.
4. nunchucks, knives, a bo-staff and skipping rope.
5. graffitti, paintings, advertising books and movie posters decorating the walls

B) Five things in my bag (if you opened it w/o my permission, you'd embarass urself!)
1. swiss knife and other 'protection' :-P
2. money
3. i-pod and THE blackberry
4. trackpants and a tee
5. drawing pad and lots of pens and pencils

C) Five things in my wallet (go ahead, put in some money)
1. money - though i'm open to further donations always
2. a blade
3. a pic of a mad creetur i love
4. atm cards - NO CREDIT CARDS. EVER.
5. a driving licence.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

A love letter to My Corrupt India

2011-03-11T11:11:00.001+05:30

My Dear Incredibly Corrupt India,
for the lack of a better adjective that encapsulates your greatness, i've chosen the word corrupt. the 'incredibly' before it comes straight from the heart.
for 25 years of my life on this planet, i never paid a bribe. i never broke a rule. i stood in the lines that you asked me to - through your systems and institutions, your so called governing forces (read cops). Thanks to that i don't have a passport, i don't get a ration card, i'm not allowed to register a permanent residence unless i live in a chawl or promise to vote for a corrupt politician who will then issue me papers. and i can't believe what a fool i've been!

All this while, in being with you, i've been blind to your true beauty. your true beauty dosent lie in your, culture, your people or your heritage. it lies in your fargility. it leaves me spellbound. All this while i thought it was your weakness, but i was wrong. And thank you for being so patient and opening my eyes. Your true beauty lies in your corruption!

Of all places in the world, in India, everyone is equal. Many countries just boast of equality - but You India, You practice it! here, it dosent matter who you are, where you come from, which god you pray to or even what sexual orientation you have! In your arms, everyone is equal. ofcourse the only condition being that they have that little green wad of cash.

You are so forgiving about everything, it makes me weep. Just yesterday, when i paid a bribe for the first time in my life i learnt your most valuable lesson! I learnt that paying that bribe isn't really a bribe. It's just using the money you have to buy some measly cop's, government official's, system drone's self respect. anyways, its not wrong coz neways they have almost none. That makes me look aroud at the legislation on your lands and i realise that 80% of the cases in police stations never end up in arrests! the 20% that do are coz they couldnt afford a bribe or just don't have enough money to bribe all the layers in your system. I look back at the cases that come into the media and vanish equally effortlessly that its not about how right or wrong you are, but about how rich or poor you are! of course, if you are poor and still want justice, in India, you can always have a company/organisation/media channel piggyback your case to earn it some publicity - in return for which you could get justice. and they'd earn the greens! In your hands, the act of forgiveness so uncomplicated and simple: money = forgiveness.

You really make me want to be a better man. at the same time you teach me the delicate truth that better, actually means richer. coz once you have money in India, you are practically untouchable! you can make arrests vanish, laws dissapear, even if arrested recieve VIP treatment, get papers without owning property, rape, kill, murder, raze villages and towns even... and get away with it! You make any man feel like God! and what do you ask for in return? just a little patch of green. India my darling, you truly make me want to be a richer man.

Thank you so much for being so patient with all my virtues and crap, and thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for being the amazing country that you are.

Yours lovingly, and no more virtuously,
Pushkaraj Shirke

PS: I promise that i will never again reject the liberties you offer so lovingly. I will flout every rule in each of your systems henceforth and make sure that i respect the love of corruption and chaos that you so dedicatedly stand for in everywalk of life.

Building Washboard Abs in 30 Days - selfimposed challenges part 3

2011-03-10T12:44:00.003+05:30

somewhere close to ryan reynolds
- minus the photoshop and makeup

This starts from me having lost 6 kgs in 30 days. then dropped 4 more kgs and built 4 kgs of muscle mass again. Given that comes the first prerequisite necessary for this challenge - a fit body and a reasonably developed core/4-6pack abs. What this one month will be dedicated to is chiselling definition into that 6 pack and make them absolute washboard abs.

WHY GET WASHBOARD ABS? well, just like that! :) and anyways my sister always keeps saying that i've never had washboard abs. coz personally i quite detest them - they are show off muscles - whenever you pursue real strenghth, its very unlikely you'll have washboard abs. But just this once, to prove a point, im chasing em.
note; don't chase what you see in magazines and media - most of that is photoshop, makeup, lighting, after touching etc etc etc.

SO LETS GET STARTED ON GETTING THE REAL THING:
there are 3 things to remember -
1. RUN FAT BOY RUN: no matter how much of this crap you've heard, but there is no such thing as natural specific part fat loss - so when you are chiselling off the fat, you're gonna be losing fat all over - WITH CARDIO!
2. STRAIN and CORE EXERCISES: crunches and other typical ab exercises only increase the size of the muscle - to really define their shape, you'll need STRAIN EXERCISES. exercises that require you to hold a position and stay there for a while straining one specific muscle. Secondly you'll need to develop your core - which is all the central muscles that support your spine - that includes weighted squats and dead lifts and clean and jerks.
where comes in my fav workout quote: "you are only truly as strong as your core". trust me, its true.
3. DIET: it is the GOD of all routines - but even more so for building washboard abs. why? coz that's your stomach muscles dummy! you can't afford too much food and calories floating around in your tummy when what you want is a zero bulge at your stomach. It is also the reason why Jason Statham almost turns into a lettuce eating rabbit whenever his stunt scenes are to be shot.

must note: while you do all of this its important to do weights for the entire body too. do not ignore all other body parts coz the more muscle you build, the faster you'll burn fat even when you are not exercising! :) Plus, it will give your abs and core the break they need to rebuild, recover and relax.

and no... this won't work. seriously.

THE ROUTINE:
It's good to space out your workout in such a way that you maximize cardio and abs workouts and alternate those days with other body part workouts.
Figure out how tired you get and which muscles interfere with your workout the other day and make a plan accordingly.
Given below, is my routine. Follow at your own risk:

day 1. shoulder + tricep + strain abs exercises
day 2. chest + 45 mins cardio
day 3. legs + Obliques (side abs)
day 4. biceps + 45 mins cardio
day 5. back + delt + SPRAWLING exercises (wrestling workout)
day 6. forearms + calves + 4 minutes of hell (X2) + 35 mins cardio
day 7. full abs workout + full core workout
day 8. two hour cardio (this is the day that kills you! owwwwww!)

and yes, goes without saying: NO ALCOHOL!

THE DIET: Simple rule - taper your diet through the day.

Heaviest first, lightest last.So an ideal day on diet would be something like this:
Breakfast: meat/egg/pulses sanwiched in brown bread or made into salad + protein shake/milk
Morning snack: tea + 2 fibre rich cookies
Lunch: roast chicken roll with egg white / a mini meal
Evening snack: tea + 2 fibre rich cookies
Dinner: electrolyte mix/Glucose drink + Two fruit juices

[what you have for dinner has to be the easiet to digest. coz your body almost shuts down when you sleep. so whatever remains undigested most likely gets converted to fat. and you don't want that!]

And that's it! let's see how it goe. today is march 10 - that's day 1 - will post back results on april 10 - day 30 :) if you are also keeping up, comment your results and queries too :)

PS: this Men's health article details one of the best core workouts i have ever come across: http://my.menshealth.com/workout/The-Spartacus-Workout-2.0/workout-a

- Pushkaraj Shirke

True Love Runs Deep

2011-03-07T14:31:00.000+05:30

medium: rotring pen on art paper by Pushkaraj Shirke

The Yamaha Cruiser and My Camera

2011-02-28T13:11:00.002+05:30

a Yamaha Cruiser model + My table lamp + My camera

= a few more lighting experiments + and some photo touching trials.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

monkeyworksmovies: My Winners from the 2011 Oscars

2011-02-25T20:04:00.000+05:30

monkeyworksmovies: My Winners from the 2011 Oscars: "BEST ACTOR: COLIN FIRTH a performance to die for. this actor has really come of age. a gripping performance that delivers the character..."

all views expressed belong to an opinionated dickhead called Pushkaraj Shirke. If you have differing views, feel free to share them or visit www.go-fuck-yourself.com

Portraits from Kashmir and HP

2011-02-23T19:56:00.003+05:30

Jab Marley.18. A diehard Bob Marley fan. A daring river guide. and just one of the many himachali and nepali youths who make a living risking their lives in the draconian rapids of the himalayas. Travelling miles away from home every tourism season, they hope they'll return home alive with money and dreams for a better life. On the way, Charas/Grass is their internalised antidote to fear - their most affordable escape to a worry free life.

Didi. i don't know about buddism, but this sweet lady's smile definitely had the secret to peace. Maybe it is the attitude we share - "take nothing too seriously". So warm and happy was our interaction, i could never tell that she is a Tibetan refugee who faced miles of frost-bite threatening snow, years of shinese oppression and contained tons of courage to face them both. That's a smile, of courage.

Baba.

The wrinkles of experience on his face needed no translations - even though they found words as he guied us through the history of himanchal pradesh. He is just one of the many senior citizens who continue working in the tough terrains of HP to continue earning a living. A living that has to be earned within the 6 months of peak tourism season that exists in the scenic state.

the temple lady at manali

a ladhaki lad

a rajasthani visitor to the dalai lama

Experiments with B/W Portraiture

2011-02-22T16:55:00.004+05:30

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Hot Wheels and a Camera

2011-02-21T11:15:00.003+05:30

A lazy weekend, my desk, a table lamp, a Hot Wheels car model and my camera.

this is what comes out of it.

BTW, Guessed the car model anyone? Yes its a ford, but WHICH one?

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Workplace Graffiti

2011-02-18T19:16:00.000+05:30

pic: the graffitti i made at my ex-workplace.

empty walls at a creative space are a boring thing. so i just went ballistic with markers and crayons and some pieces of crap that were lying around the office. It expresses the chaos of creativity, client needs, alien feedbacks and everything else that comes into the process of advertising.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

FUNC YOUR BRAND! Understanding in Movie, Game, Show and App Advertising

2011-02-08T17:12:00.004+05:30

Advertising changes from time to time.I correct myself - the 'modes' of advertising change from time to time. Given the current developments in social networking, free sharing technologies, gaming systems and changes in the entertainment making and providing business, change is certain.

Lets look at certain seemingly unrelated facts before we try analysing this 'change':# more people wanted to go to Pangong lake in ladakh than ever before the year 3 idiots released. Previously, it was TsoMoRiri lake that was more sought after.

# The sales of Zandu balm shot up after it was mentioned in a song in the movie Dabangg.

# many games employ brand-name products such as guns and cars as status symbols within the game. Examples of this include cars by Lexus, Lamborghini, and Ducati in Atari's Test Drive Unlimited^[23] and guns such as the Colt M1911, MAC-11, AK-47, and M16 from the Grand Theft Auto series.

# Axe Deodorant went for something a little more fun. They placed a random can of their product on one of the levels of the game RAINBOW 6… if the gamer shot the can they were rewarded with a ‘blooper reel’ created by the game’s developers.

#Britain's got talent: I phone app - The app, built to offer users the chance to see behind the scenes footage, backstage interviews, galleries and a great 'play at home' red buzzer game, was developed purely for the iPhone and iPod touch so that the TV companies involved in the show could get a handle on the sort of demand for these adjunct services and to assess the challenges of developing the mobile channel.
Downloads of the app started at 64,000 on the first weekend that the show was broadcast, growing steadily to a total of 538,367 by the time of the grand final. There are even some people still downloading the app after the show has ended…

# MTV Hero Honda Roadies, is an almost entirely sponsored show that's been working for its sponsors year after year! Just check the list of brands piggy backing/partnering it: Hero Honda Karizma, Garnier Fructis, Haier Mobiles, Mountain Dew and Castrol Power 1, with Fastrack from Titan as Style Partner, Nestle Polo as Partner, Ground Partner- Pizza Hut, Broadband Partner- Sifymax and 93.5 RED FM

So what do we draw out of this?more people than ever visited a tourist site just because they saw it in a movie.
more brands reached directly to their tg coz tasks in a game highlighted their benefits.
product demos were not ignored because they came as a part of entertainment.
a TV show went public by going mobile effortlessly - from a bigger screen, to a smaller one(a more accessible one).
Is this the death of conventional advertising? No way. It's just a new route. A new medium. An enormously fast growing medium of advertising that depends on ONE KEY WORD - FUNCTIONALITY.Functionality determines whether brands in such a space make it or not. Just static integration wont help. The consumer needs to find the brand interactive. The brand needs to be of value to the consumer. Coz unlike static or one way advertising, this kind of advertising is INTERACTIVE.

Unless you FUNC your brand in this space, you can't really expect anything much. you cant just expect people to spend on your brand or even believe in it in the first place just coz you are telling them to. you need to convieniently persuade them. you need to ask yourself:Is your brand entertaining the consumer?
is your brand involving the consumer?
Is your advertising something the consumer is ready to be with?
Is your brand serving/helping the consumer in any way?
If your brand communication is adding to a consumer experience, it is most likely to be accepted and internalised.

the simplest way to put this whole nw trend into a nutshell would be :
"ask not what the consumer can do for your brand,
but what your brand can do for the consumer!"- Pushkaraj Shirke

PS: when it comes to INMOVIE branding, just don't over do it - like BUD Light points out in this hilarious commercial:

Get Back in Shape part 2 - Building Muscle While Losing Weight

2011-01-30T15:56:00.015+05:30

Of the 10 kgs i had put on, i lost 6 kgs in 30 days.
(this was the regime for that is 3 blogposts below this one)
then, i piled on 2 kgs again - coz i had to give my body time to recuperate from that bootcamp. plus there was travel, friends, parties, housework. Now it's time for....
stage 2 - lose 4 kgs in 30 Days - while building muscle.

You see, losing weight using a lot of cardio excercises and running is easy - coz it dosent matter whether you lose fat or muscle mass.

BUT when you have to preserve/increase muscle and lose the fat, it's a whole different ball game.
Not to forget, im travelling and working too all this while.

So first thing: PUT SOCIAL LIFE ON A HOLD FOR A MONTH! AND STICK TO THE PLAN.

So what's the plan?

I'm starting at 68 kgs.
I need to add shoulder muscle mass, leg muscle mass and strengthen and shape all muscles in general. And at the same time, lose 4 kgs.
So i will have to follow a four step plan:

Step 1. Diet

what you eat makes a huge difference. But the best part about heavy weight training is that you SHOULD EAT! :D yaaaaayyy!!! but watch what you eat and don't go over board. Keep is imple.
Breakfast - milk and cereal
Lunch - dabba meal / 2 chicken rolls
Snack - Salad of boiled or sprouted Pulses
Dinner - Meat or 2 eggs with brown bread
Remember to drink lots of water. Protein is heavy to digest. So unless you want to be the GAS bomb, consume a lot of water. Keep a bottle of water around you all day. Even at the gym.
Cheat tip: Lemon/vitamin C in your water helps refresh you faster - especially while working out.

Step 2: Heavy Weight Training

the bigger muscles you have, the stronger muscles you have, the more fat you can convert to energy even without working out! So begin building them.
To do that, I need to get pumping some serious iron. So I will have a 5 day routine to focus on a specific body part each day. Every exercise will be done in 3 sets - with the max weight i can for 8-10 reps each:
Day 1: Chest
Day 2: Shoulders
Day 3: Back and Triceps
Day 4: Biceps and Abs(core)
Day 5: Cardio/Legs and Core Training/Boxing

I have made a 5 day routine coz i usually end up bunking 2 days each week. (including the one day of rest).

Step 3: Heavy Weight Training

If i aim to keep losing fat, everyday will have to include a severe warm-up session. I would be following the second half of the 4 minutes of hell workout.(refer to part 1 of this blog for details or youtube it)
Besides, also keep the metabolism running all day by adding a workout into my daily routines:
Climbing Stairs
Dancing/Trekking on weekends/holidays
Skipping 200-300 times every morning

Step 4: Surprise the Body
your body is just like you - a lazy, shortcut finding bitch. when it gets used to a workout, it develops resistance to it. It finds ways to conserve energy while doing the same task again and again.
So SHUFFLE your workout days, Add in a new work out, try to quit machines for a day and do all free weight exercises only, try to put in one more muscle exercise on a random day.
DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SURPRIZE YOUR BODY and keep it burning calories.

finally, the objective is to build a strong and fit body - not a Ken barbie doll. Don't worry if your abs go into hiding for a while - they are there underneath getting stronger. you'll get them back when you do a CHISELLING WORKOUT next month. I too need to remember that :)

So that's about it. Will keep the blog updated on my progress.

30 Days of pain, here i come!
(Pic: luckily the bastards in 300 had atleast a blockbuster film to look forward to! Glory, my ass!)

AYE AYE PIRACY! it's about time video and music 'piracy' became legal

2011-01-23T16:50:00.002+05:30

PIRACY - even in the old ages when panzy assed, tight corseted, dumb wigged British colonizers and other European morons were royally getting screwed by looters on the high seas, they knew what to do. They elaborately started buying out pirates and sponsoring their own pirates for bounties!
They realized that instead of fighting against a rising tide, it was better to merge into the tide and make the most of it. And soon 'pirates' who were pillaging their treasures, were turned into a source of revenue for them!

PITY morons of our age don't understand the same. And they are spending billions on trying to STOP music and video piracy. WHY? the explanation is only one - blind GREED.

Earlier, music and film artists made millions - they did shows, performances, concerts, earned their money the hard way. Now artists earn billions - doing almost zilch of the effort earlier artists had to put in. and yet, they want more. they want to stop the trickle of money that runs out due to piracy!

To this statement they would argue that it also costs a lot more to promote films and artists now - to which i have only one thing to say: FUCK OFF AND GO FOOL SOMEONE ELSE. Today brand presences are so huge that plain advertising and branding contracts run into zillions each year. Every movie is almost funded in half by advertising and co-branding revenues. Every music artist makes more money out of endorsements than out of music itself - so really, what the fuck are we talking about?

fig: if you can see - piracy makes you film/music available to a lot more people than YOU MARKETERS ever can!!! That means that if it is good, you'll have more fans and more reach to advertising consumers than ever before!!!! FOR FREE!

There's an ancient martial art rule: It's best to use the opponent's own force against him than to exert your own. so why not let piracy work for you? it's time marketers and the entertainment industry learned to go with the tide. A leaked episode of a TV series brings in more publicity and reviews and hardcore followers than anything else. A free to download video of any pop artist becomes an item to share on social networking sites. A leaked film is watched only by morons - the real film audiences watch it on the large screen, still buy original DVDs and memorabilia. In film, there was a time when people were fooled into going into a theatre even to a bad film coz they haven’t heard the review - but now, if your film is bad, its anyways gonna be trashed by word of mouth faster than ever before. so really... what are you afraid of?

DUDE, IF IT CAN BE SHARED FOR FREE, IT SHOULD BE!

if it can be shared, go ahead and share it. It's like free love - it will spread.

CHANGE HAS OVERCOME. Honestly speaking, a few years ago, the scenario was entirely different. I myself was against piracy. but times have changed. Social media and networking has changed a lot. The revenue streams have changed. The audiences have changed. The currency.... has changed.
SHARING is the new currency now. And if what you have to offer, isn't up for sharing, you really really are missing out on something. If you continue to be so insecure about how good you are, you are only going to go one way - and that's south. If you are good, be open - go ahead, share. Let the world know you, discuss you, share your brilliance... and you will get your due credit. The fans will come. The true audiences will buy tickets. The fans will purchase your ridiculous memorabilia no matter how absurd. That's the way it goes.

On a finishing note, all those who find truth in my words(and have already been pirating for ages from home), and those who swear by downloads and free sharing (despite the ridiculously slow download speeds in

India

), and believe that it IS time for Piracy to be legalised.... SAY AYE!!!

Singer Joss Stone supports piracy:

OH YEAH, on TWITTER I AM.... (oh so great!)

2011-01-06T20:52:00.002+05:30

Have you been on twitter??? if yes, and you are bored, just hop around reading random people's descriptions. I'm absolutely amused reading people's self-descriptions on TWITTER.
Some are delusional.
Some are over modest to the extent that they literally seem to be shitting on their own face!
Some are just blah.
Some are busy living out their loserville fantasy.
Others are just content calling themselves 'cool' names

Some self-proclaimed 'talents' for eg:

SAMEERA REDDY: Actor by profession! happy to be part of Bollywood, Telugu, Tamil, Malayalam, Bengali films! (yes, without knowing ANY acting, that's quite a feat!)
NEHA DHUPIA: ACTRESS (yeah right! in which world darling?)
VIVEK OBEROI: Bollywood Actor,Social worker, adventure sports enthusiast, poet,Pilot, Dreamer.... (yeah sure, dreaming that you will be called an actor SOMEDAY!)
LOLLLL!!!!!
And what is it with girls/women who love to claim to be a BITCH?
looks like twitter is a release for their 'being a bitch' fantasy.
I've lost count of how many women claim to be a 'bitch' on twitter!
And then there's the PHILOSOPHICAL junta.
all the philosophical big words they found wherever they went - whether they understood them or not - they managed to put them up on twitter for sure!!! So many 'vagabonds', 'literati', 'lost soul', and 'ethereal' and 'transient being's on twitter that it seems like a crash course in philosophy and the art of douchebaggery!
not to forget those who cant think of anything therefore just decide to vent out their lack of iamgination in the form of angst againt the world. case in eg: 'You dont need to know', 'fuck off', 'whatever i am, im better than you' LOL... idiots!
and how can i forget the kids? the minute you see descriptions that use the ALPHABETS of their name to demonstrate their personality traits... you know its a kid or an adult with an equivalent IQ. in the same genre there will be those that put their ASTROLOGICAL sunsign descriptions as their description. dudes and dudettes, a million other people are the same - WHAT are YOU????

yes, there are a few intelligent and genuine descriptions - that are a pleasure to read and worth your while in a good way. But these hilarious ones outweigh them a thousand to one!!!! Go, see for yourself!
btw, what's your twitter self description??? :P

I've been tagged!

2011-01-06T16:53:00.003+05:30

It's a tag where I could lie, but it'd be stupid to...

I've seen quite a few tags in my shtoopid life, but none as stupid as the one I'm about to jump into. And since I'm an extremely shtoopid person myself (Sheesh, you weren't supposed to know that!), I'm getting a perverse sort of pleasure in doing this tag. So without further ado, ladies and ledas, I present to you, the 30 shtoopid question tag!

1) When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Dude, i just moved to bangalore 2 months back - i still haven't purchased a mirror!!!

2) How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
I can see 8 ruppees chaillar on it. Inside it, i have no idea!

3) What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
first word: whore to the core (ok that's a line - pick the first and the last word then)

4) Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
my landlord - who's been coming home only to interview my dog and a lock on the door for the past one month :P

5) What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
vodafone magicbox - 800 rupayy ke phone mein kya ringtone hoga bey?

6) What are you wearing right now?
denims and a monkeyworks tee - as usual

7) Do you label yourself?
i tried using postits to mark the limbs n organs but it didnt stick.

8) Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
Reebok, Adidas, converse, Nike, Fila, Bata (fuck i'm sounding like a woman!a sexist one!)

9) Bright or Dark Room?
Dark. preferably with a hot woman included.

10) What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Mukta. She's a funny cow! must be off grazing other brains after she dumped this dung one me!

11) What does your watch look like?
i NEVER wear watches. (which is why i'm always come on time. only late, when its in a different context)

12) What were you doing at midnight last night?
ha ha ha ha ha ha...... if i told you, 6 people would kill me!!!! let's just say i was very close to being arrested for a roadside fight and babysitting a lot of drunks :P

13) What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
no dude, you are not getting a monkey

14) What’s a word that you say a lot?
AWESOME!

15) Who told you he/she loved you last?
all those who said are still busy love-sampling more people, so i duuno who'll love me LAST :P

16) Last furry thing you touched?
Diego! my dalmadorr awesome furry ball of a doggie son!

17) Favourite age you have been so far?
at 7 years of age, you do not have much to choose from.

18) What was the last thing you said to someone?
is Friday here already????

19) The last song you listened to?
the Hangover soundtrack (in the fond memory of last night)

20) Where did you live in 1987?
Boisar, saurashtra.

21) Are you jealous of anyone?
yeah, tottally, absolutely, undeniably..... Jealous of FUTURE ME.

22) Is anyone jealous of you?
now comeon, dont make me sound like a bitch. well, i'm still compiling the list :P

23) Name three things that you have on you at all times?
a head on my shoulders, an attitude to die for and a smile on my face

24) What’s your favourite town/city?
Mumbai.

25) When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
to manoshi, my mad lady. to mansi, one of my best pals. and to my mom, the original mad lady.

26) Can you change the oil on a car?
yupp. and find better uses for oil too. esp baby oil.

27) Your first love/big crush: What is the last thing you heard about him/her?
she's quite into me. unfortunately she's 10 years too late.

28) Does anything hurt on your body right now?
my neck - i havent known a single day for the past 7 years that it hasn't!

29) What is your current desktop picture?
a pic of my ex and me.

30) Have you been burnt by love?
yes. that's the beauty of it i guess. my concept of love is bizzare, so keep your theories away.

ola! that's it! if you've read this - you're tagged!!!
answer these questions - now!!!! :D

Get Back in Shape - Part 1: my selfimposed challenge to lose 6 kgs in 30 days!

2010-12-15T14:48:00.012+05:30

oh yeahh!!! that's where you're headed with that diet and laziness plan!

Have you ever put on some unwanted weight?
A sabbatical from work and gymming. A travel across a country that's over-run with delicious cuisines. And an addiction to KFC and MCD. I did it all together and what i got was a grand bonus of 10 kgs - that gradually replaced my six pack abs with what a friend refers to as THE MONO AB(classic in its reference to the amoeba :P). the ultimate ab. The family pack. Or as i simplyfy it - the FLAB.

At a godzilla size of 72 kgs, i've now begun this mission to bring it down to 62 kgs again. But i hate slow and steady. so i decided to go extreme and challenge myself - of that arises my Kamikaze challenge - to lose 6 kgs within 30 days!!!
I have done it before. but this time there's a major obstacle called the NEW YEAR EVE standing right between my 30 days! (and damn im gonna be in goaaaa!!!!!!)

So anyways, here's a step by step breakdown of my routine for this thirty days. (i'll be updating this very article from time to time in case of revisions to or failure of my routine.)

Step 1: Conditioning Workouts
rest assured, im gonna be putting my body through hell. and unlike women, i hate losing muscle mass when im losing weight - which is what typically happens if you follow an ONLY CARDIO (running, cycling, swimming, skipping, aerobics, spinning) routine to lose weight.
So what im doing is getting back to the basics of martial arts - using body conditioning workouts. these workouts are basic enought to be done anywhere, tough enough to maintain the muscle, and rigourous enough to burn the fat right back to hell!
You'll find a plethora of conditioning workouts on the web. but here is one that i highly recommend - do three repitions of this and then briskwalk/run 7 kms:

PS: the fastest ways to lose weight are skipping, swimming, running/briskwalking, cycling and aerobics/power yoga. though using only these techniques will result is loss of muscle mass - so you'll end up with a thinner but relatively shapeless body.

Step 2: Diet moderation
please note the word MODERATION. Never crash diet coz its the worst thing you could do to yourself. ofcourse crash diets work but they leave you unhealthy, weak and with dark circles under ur eyes. so its pointless to lose weight and look n feel like a zombie.
the trick to lose weight is knowing WHAT you eat. Proteins are your best friends when it comes to losing weight - coz your body CANNOT STORE protein. it uses what it needs and dumps the rest away. Plus, your body also needs more calories to process proteins than any other basic nutrient. And keep the follwing in mind:
1. eat whenever you are hungry. WHY? coz if your body knows that you are starving or not responding to hunger, it will start storing fat!!! you need to cheat you body. Chomp on carrot strips, oranges, cucumber, tomato, black gram and onion salad, lettuce, radish slices and 'sukha bhel' (if ur in india) everytime u feel hungry. Peel a lemon into it. Vitamin c is the best refresher :)
2. eat two proper meals a day coz your body needs nutrition and your tastebuds need satisfaction. BUT dont eat too much. eat 1/4th of the quantity, just enough to kill that temptation :)
3. evn in your proper meals - avoid oily stuff (in fact, run away from oily or deepfried stuff as much as possible)
4. non vegetarians can rejoice as their proper meals can be awesomely full of proteins. take any meat - roast it, grill it, boil it, microwave it - and you have ur low fat, high protein meal ready!
Bt pls note that if you are having a high protein diet when you are doing a weights intensive workout - you'll put on weight (muscle mass).
5. vegetarians can settle for more grams, dals, sprouts and an absolute abstainence from RICE! infact, salads are an awesome option for vegetarians. low fat salad reciepies are available all over the net - use them all!!! :D
6. drink a lot of water. coz it kills hunger, keeps you feeling full, and flushes out toxins n clears your body. (bt in the later parts, when you want your abs to be visible, cut down on salt and water - coz water retention covers your abs/muscle definition and salt causes water and fat retention)

Step 3: Working Out
This is obviously the most crucial part. coz without pain, there is no gain. or loss in this scenario.
divide your workout into 6 sets. do one set per day.
set 1: conditioning workout + 3 mile run + Chest-Shoulder Tricep workout
set 2: conditioning worout + 500 skips + Back-Biceps workout
set 3: conditioning workout + 5 mile walk with weights in your hands + core-obliques workout
set 4: conditioning workout + legs workout (yeah, no cardio here, coz a good legs workout will kill you anyway)
set 5: 10 mile walk - forget the gym, just pack a bag with some water and some carrots and maybe a camera and go out n explore your city for 4-5 hours! :) take a friend along if they've got the stamina :)
set 6: 500 skips + stretches + core-obliques workout (im concentrating on obliques coz lovehandles are the hardest to lose!)
REMEMBER:
- you are working out to lose weight, not to put on major muscle. so keep the weights light enough for you to be able to do 25 reps of each excercise. (the 20th rep onward should hurt)
- don't rest too much in between reps. 30 seconds to a minute is enough. (drink water to refresh faster)
- avoid machines, use more of free weights and dumbells and try to do as many excercises standing up as possible.

i'm myself at step one as of now. will start step 2 and 3 by day 6 of my routine :)
let me know if you folllowing it. the more, the merrier :)
if you encounter any difficulties, let me know. i'll try to help out any way i can.

cheers!

PS: this is my progress chart:day 1 - 72 kgs
getting used to the gym after such a long time takes a lot of effort. i tire out within 3-4ks of running!

day 3 - 71.5 kgs

Unexpected deterrent - hospitalised for Typhoid! :(
got hospitalised for typhoid midway: hospitalisation was a bummer - it dropped my weight like crazy, but that weightloss was unhealthy weight loss - so i picked up that weight again as soon as i gt back frm hospital. now its back to low intensity cardio workouts and extremely low cal liquid diet (as im still on medication)

day 14 - 68 kgs
2 more kgs to go, to win my challenge to lose 6 kgs in 30 days :)
have to fight dehydration and weakness as i go along - to stay out of hospital and stay healthy!

day 21 - 69 kgs!!! - Piled on an extra KG!!!
as expected, piled on an extra kilo on the new year weekend!!! need a drastic change in plan to lose the gained kilo and keep up to the promised weight loss.
Back to low calorie diet for a week and Changing workout routine to alternate day UPPERBODY-LOWERBODY workouts:
day 1: 5 kms incline walk + 4 minutes of hell + upperbody
day 2: 3 kms run + 4 minutes of hell + lowerbody

Day 27 - 66.5 kgs! 3 days left and only 500 grams to go!
I could have very well lost that final 500 grams over the weekend with one extra session of cardio/kalaripayattu. But i chose to rehydrate, get some yummy food into the system and enjoy a bit - afterall, im doing this to be healthy, not to just flatten out right? :)
the last 500 grams are gonna be a cake walk with 3 days to go! :)
PS: my six pack.... is backkk!!!! :D

Day 30 - 65.8 kgs! VICTORY!!!!!!!!!
The last two days i pushed myself onto a low water, low salt, basic foods diet and worked out only martal arts work outs (majorly cardio and speed weights). And that did the trick. Quite like a finishing move in Mortal Combat! :P swung my weight right down to 65.8 kgs!!!!!!

to all those who said it aint possible - i've just done it again - A SECOND TIME!

Cheers!

PS: if you too undertake this regime, feel free to keep me updated on your resutls or ask about changes you can make to your regime to suit your bodytype/health :)

6 things worth asking yourself everyday

2010-12-02T12:51:00.010+05:30

6. Do you feel awesome enough?

if not - you ought to - do whatever it takes - go binge, pump up that music, jog, jump in a drum full of cold water, meet someone awesommer - do anything! it's what keeps your day alive! If you ain't feeling awesome, how'll you transfer the awesomeness to anyone else??? it's a chain, so don't break it :)

5. Have you done something KICK-ASS at work today?

if not, at least get working on it. everybody's a clone. if you want to be something, you gotto be running that extra mile! or the same mile, in for heck's sake, a style that's characteristically you!

4. Did you make someone believe that 'good exists'?

yeah it seems simple, but seriously, when was the last time you made an effort to make someone's day - without any strings attached. helping random strangers is definitely top-of-the-list in this case.

If you gotta KEEP the faith, you gotta BE the faith.

3. Did you push your boundaries/try something new/do something crazy today?

Imagine this. if you were to have a flashback of your life - what would it be full of? same old 'me too' events that are in every body's life? or a series of things so crazy that they can be only yours! Go ahead - Rock that boat!!! its your own anyways!

PS; but remember that its your own boat - don't puncture it with more holes than you can fill while you are rocking it. if you do, be prepared to drown or be stranded on a MAYBE not so awesome island neways :P

2. Have you hurt someone intentionally?

senti part. yes. its important to be a jerk yet not be an asshole. it's a fine line. if though you find yourself answering YES to this question, make it up to that person. or at least apologize honestly. it's the least you can do. It won't make you any better or worse. It's something you just gotto do.

1. Have you loved someone/anyone enough?

Life's short. Seriously. even if you ask someone who's lived a hundred and ten years, or someone who's dying of AIDS at age 10. And the one that has the capability to turn each moment into a piece of eternity, is love. It's all you've got against time. so make the most of it. Love - like crazy, like insane, like totally. and keep no expectations - it's not a trade. Tomorrow's a new day :)

cheers!

Pushkaraj Shirke

God of War 2: a peek into the future of Interactive cinema

2010-12-01T16:07:00.001+05:30

There are Legends and Myths. There are Tales and Movies. And there are Games.And THEN, there is the GOD OF WAR series - especially GOD OF WAR 2 - that combines them all in a way that you just can't get enough of it!

Cory Barlog, the writer behind the game has so intricately woven the Greek mythos with his story that it is difficult to judge whether the two are the same or not! Given a person with a not so strong background in Greek mythos, one would actually believe the game to be the story of KRATOS. The gruellingly pleasurable experience that this game has offered my artistic senses needs to be etched out one piece of a time. So let the justice be done.

KRATOS: An anti-hero protagonist, a character artwork straight from hell!
He is powerful, ruthless, power hungry and relentless. Yet you find yourself feeling empathetic towards him. You get drawn into his character. In fact, the character has been so well developed that in spite of his evils, it’s his humane strain that calls out to you through all the layers. EFFORTLESSLY.

Kratos, the son of Zeus in Greek mythology, and his most obedient servant in reality takes on a total turn in the game. Here he is absolutely resentful of the gods, against zeus and will rebel against all forms of authority. But this shift has been brought around with so much conviction through the story – that it becomes the new truth for you.
You are dragged into his evils, to feel his betrayals. You join him on his merciless journey of vengeance to avenge the wrongs done to him. You feel the need for ruthlessness as you step into his ungodly, ash covered skin in the game.
That’s character creation. And what an amazing example of one – Kratos.

God of War – The graphic art of the movie making you can interact with!

You watch a movie – its one way. You read a book - its one way. You watch a piece of art – its one way. BUT WHEN YOU PLAY THIS GAME – its an overwhelming interactive experience!You are the story – you are the movie – you are the character – you are the action.
YOU ARE THE GAME. THE GAME IS YOU.

It doesn’t stop there. The art of the game makes it even more engrossing. An absolute audio-visual treat. Simply check out the range of detailing and imagination that has gone into each one of these scenes and characters, and you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

After Max Payne, God of War seems like the next big thing to have raised games to the level of a new art form to me. And maybe if we keep our fingers crossed and our hopes high, this’ll soon be the norm.

Entertainers, are you listening?????

A trailer of GOD OF WAR 3 - a preview to the awesomeness that it is:

Who the Fuck is Barrack Obama?

2010-11-09T10:47:00.007+05:30

Aditi Kamble Today, Bom ATC transfers only our aircraft to 'special frequency'. ATC: "Kingfisher xxxx, turn left heading 310 due 'reciprocal traffic'". After complying, frequency unusually silent, few seconds later...."Mumbai Control, Good afternoon! Air Force One FL330" (OMG, so freakin' COOL!!) :DSaturday at 6:47pm via iPhone · Comment ·LikeUnlike · View Feedback (29)Hide Feedback (29)Aditi Sulke, Aditi Kamble and 14 others like this.

This and a gazzilion other tweets and facebook updates go gaga over this Mr. Obama every day. Oh! he's in my colony. Oh! he is so great! oh he is so cool! oh~! he's gonna fucking change the world!
Change the world? my ass!

does anyone take a moment to look into this paper dummy called Barrack Obama?
let's rewind to the time frame in which he became president and things might get a little clearer.

A few years back.
America, the country that has built its entire economy with its war machines and war mongering takes war to Afghanistan and the middle east. Its lust for oil is becoming obvious to the world. The 'war against terrorism' farce is losing belief. The war is back firing with deaths of innocent american soldiers everyday that it continues. Afghanistan is literally ass raping America. Public hatred against the country is at its peak. Not only across the country, but even in america itself. THAT CALLS FOR A MAJOR INTERVENTION!

'Damn', they say, we need to do something drastic. We need to pacify these guys. We need to dope them! Let's give these people the greatest drug in the world - and you know what that is? its not cocaine, its not grass, its HOPE!

"so what do you say we do?" ...
"well, how about something drastic."
"like what?"
"let's see... we need to unite america... so we shouldnt antagonise the african american people anymore... we need muslim votes and sympathy... so there's got to be a muslim angle... and its got to be something america has never done or seen before... we need ...... a scapegoat president and a replacement that fits in all our angles!"
"how about this guy... some barrack osama...errr.. obama or something like that"
"who's that?"
"i dunno... nobody does..... but hey, that's the point. we get a clean slate. we can create his image in the media. he's black and he's muslim.... and he can read the teleprompter pretty well"
"ah! and as for the media - the people know only what they see on tv and read in the paper!!! we can fund his campaigns and make him president - call the PR dept right away... call for a press con"
six months later, america and the world rejoices at the triumph of a man nobody had even heard about before. and doesent even bother to question why.
PEOPLE ARE SUCCESSFULLY HIGH.... ON HOPE.

2010. Barrack Obama visits India.
Idiots all around are freakking out. for what??? What has he done???
lets see - pakistan is an openly terrorist funding state... and he is diplomatic about it.
people go gaga over the statment that he loves vada pav and koli dance... what shit? i'm yet to meet a pesident who visits a foregin country where he is pushing his vote bank and says "wht shitty food and dance you have here!" of course he loves it. its his fast depreciating vote bank. the Hope drug is wearing off!

How many of all those people who go gaga over Obama know anything concrete that he has done?
Obama is just a PR brainwashing exercise. and I hope people see it soon.
but even as i do hope that, i wonder would it make any difference at all. people will still be the same. willing to clutch at every morsel of hope thrown at them. for as much a paper dummy obama might have been, atleast it has been an excuse for america to do some good for a few people here and there.
Somewhere, i just hope this farce stays up - only for the fact that the families of the people who died in america's oil lust war feel a little better, only for the hope that saddam's murder is in some miraculous way will some day be justified, only for the reason that in someway the 'you hide my ass, i'll hide yours' world politics of terrorism and terrorism funding will feel threatened.

So.... who the fuck is Barrack Obama?
I'd really like to know. I'd really like the world to know.

BTW... just how much money do you think it takes to run an ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN like this to promote OBAMA:

and again btw, all the financial reforms he promised, only 2-5 % of them actually happened - you know why? coz its still the corporations that control america. Not Obama - he's the puppet.

Bye Bye Bombay - a note to my mumbai folk

2010-10-24T12:13:00.007+05:30

Bombay. Yes, Bombay, not Mumbai, is the city i grew up in... or well, i rather tried growing up in. for 25 years now. Yellow lights, cutting chai, vada pava and katta moments... local trains, big red buses, marine drive, bollywood... ramzan at haji ali, christmas at bandra, ganpati-dancing on the streets and insance clubbing nights... there's so much to this awesome city!!! and its all within me now.

But what's the most awesome part of this city, are the people here.

I've travelled across the entire country and i can say this with absolute conviction - the people of my city are the awesomessst people in the country. It's what makes Mumbai incredible.

And what's the best part? my favouritessst people on the planet, are some of the most awesome people within this city of awesome awesome people! :) (yes i've been prescribed an awesome overdose)

This note, is for them.

poorabie
i love you.

mom
Chillax amma! One traaaas you are! I know your astrologer said I’ll die this year or the next – but hey, at least I’ll have died doing everything I wanted to. Except winning that goddamn Oscar! Crap! (bt trust me, I’m working on it ;))

dad
We shall party in Bangalore ;)
You are awesome dad. I owe my simplicity and utter honesty to having a dad like you.

snowy. ashmi. swati. and every girl I’m protective of.
Two pieces of advice.
One. Though wrong, life is much easier if you start with the prejudice that “all guys are assholes”. More often than not, it is true. Anyone gives you traas, just give me call, breaking a guy’s jaw and restructuring someone’s facial geography always tops my priority list over anything else. I’m just one flight away.

Two. Study, learn and work hard. If your self esteem and friends circle depends on your achievements, knowledge and talents, it lasts much longer and is much stronger than if it depends on how cool/hot/beautiful you are.
Most of the “oh I’m so hot and oooh I’m a babe” chicks from college often end up with marriage as the only serious career option. Apart from ofcourse bartending, waitressing, running behind casting directors, and indulging is escapist alcoholism.
Baaki notes, break ke baad.

reema
gahhh! don’t irritate me. go pack your bags.

shabnam
phalo phulo, sada suhagann raho :P you are by far the stupidest girl i know – stupid in a naive sense. You don’t realize your own value and are happy just letting others take decisions for you – partly so that you can say that they did that not you – but trust me, eventually, every decision, is yours and yours alone.
Be awesome. Coz you are.

apeksha

don't worry too much, you'll be just fine. i've been your knight in not-so-shining armor so far, and belive me, 1200 kms dosent call for my resignation from that job :) call me from time to time. and take care.

ketak and sanjeev
Fatte aur mallu! Banglore jaa raha hoon, swargvaas mein nahi – aur waise bhi, wahan bhi gaya toh bhi bc bhoot bankey tumhaari to maarta hi rahoonga.
Ketak, assure your dad, don’t conflict him – put yourself in his shoes and think. Things will fall in place. And he will let your balls be yours again (someday :P). Tu hamaara tattoo baba hai yaar, chill maar.
Sanjeev, nariyal tel bech tu saaley! Tereko jitni gaaliyaan doon kamm hai. Grow some balls. Or borrow ketak’s if he gets them back. Bastard.
Miss you guys man!

maria
By far my best artie ever! You, my darling, are awesome! Always remember the note I wrote you and keep away from stupid people. You are way too naïve and talented to be stuck amongst assholes.
PS: we’ll keep doing our abstract and random art projects together, so fikarrr not J

lishoy and pankaj
haramzaado! Mere Art partners ho, dost ho, par sabsey badhkar…. ek number ke kameeney ho saalon! You guys, have ruined it for my future workplace buddies! You guys have set the standards so high, it will be difficult to find friends like you at any workplace in the world! Lishoy’s ‘desktop mandir’ and ‘ask the pankazzz’ episodes at Ogilvy….. damn I’ll miss it yaar!
PS: Keep the “kyaaa baaat hai!” episodes going. I’ll try n do the same till we meet again ;)

samrat and kavish. and charles.
Advertising is a fucking parasite pool. You do eventually find awesome people in it too. But you never expect to find them through such randomly bizzaare ways! I don’t even remember how and when we became friends, but I’m glad we did, coz u guys are awesome.
Samrat, you are the shit man! Awesomeness, creativity, simplicity and genuineness – you are sarvagunna sampanna dude! I know you’ll be rocking the advertising planet at every award show. And fikkarr not, I’ll be right there too ;)
Kavish – kameeney, tujheyy dhanno banaakey bhagaaney ka plan to cancel ho gaya, parr darr mat, tujhey diet aur work out mail kar doonga. You’ve got the personality dude – you are the REAL kung fu panda! Bring the Dragon warrior to Bangalore sometime!
charie - keep doodling man. i'm gonna buy all your coreldraw doodles and make a billion bucks outta them one day! love your art and your mallu cool vibe! :)

rushi
no matter how much we drift apart, you know I love you baby. You are the bumbling little happy gnome in my life J and I’ll be by you whenever you need me J I’m maybe moving cities, but don’t forget, I rule this planet ;)

kreneta
damn your happiness is addictive! It’s bizarre how I know you and yet I don’t know you. Like at all! I don’t even know why you are on this list! But coz you are, I might as well tell you to keep your happy vibes flowing – it feels like vodka in the air J

sriram, kshitij, ramu, sumay, goldie, siddharth evam mere school ke adhik haraamzaado
tum saaley toh contact mein rahogey, chaahey jahan bhi jaaoon. See you in Bangalore bastards.

rohon nag
……..Tollywood? ya Hollywood? Decide karr, phir bataa ;) Oscar toh jeetna hi hai whattefuck! No matter where we go.

Jay. and akshay
Jam karney mein kyaa jaata hai… bangalore is the music city neways. Just catch a fucking weekend bus and get there. I’m taking my guitar along J
PS: jay, hope pick a career that gives you creative liberties or a career that gives you more than enough monies to pursue your creativity. You’ve got more talent than 5 creative morons put together (as seen in THE image)! Make the most of it J

sarika
life is short, make it count. Exploit that talent. use that camera. click some pictures. or you’ll end up forgetting why you purchased it in the first place!

meneka
If I had a foolishness meter – you’d break it! I’ve never seen anyone being so full of potential and yet so foolish at the same time. BTW, when I call a person foolish, it’s a compliment. I’m a fool too. It’s coz u don’t wear any masks. You are honest. And all non foolish people in the world know that the first to be victimized, are always the honest. And it’s up to you to understand that the first prerequisite to being honest, is being strong. Don’t let idiots and fairweathers worry you. You are awesome (and awesomely mad) and you know it J

praful
We are people endowed with the awesomeness to make great shit happen – and with such awesome power comes awesome responsibility. So haraami, jo hi karegaa, contact mein reh!

sayan
keep clicking dude. hope to see your work get even better with time. we'll stay in touch. even if it's across cities.
PS: did you know what's according to me, the most amazing thing the buddha ever said - "don't take life too seriously" :)

riddhi
you just somehow stuck together. If I look back, I find it amazing how we’ve been friends for so long! And despite the long chats we’ve had, if there one thing I need to tell you – is to let yourself be awesome.

varsha
aiyyo! u came to my land. now i go to your land. but yet, we are on the same to same planet, so don't the worries... we'll soon cross paths again :) and let me know how your illustrations and independance is going from time to time :) fessshbookkk helps :)

krishna
from being a person who absolutely hated me, to being one of my best friends – we’ve come a long way J Just want to tell you that you really need to make that switch – you are a writer/creative person inside. The monotonous you is just the self-perception you’ve learnt to accept with time. It ain’t the real you. Go out there and write a killing!

sara, nihal and payal
darn! we don’t stay in touch neways. But for all i know, you guys no matter how much time and space, marriage and jobs, and studies and escapades drift us apart, you guys are my friends. Will always be.

burzin
thank you for your patience. And your knowledge. You’ve been quite an awesome teacher. I owe my copy monster status to you in a biggg, circled with a pencil way J

vaishakhi and mr. makhija
the two people whose wise counsel give me my invisible invincibility cloak. You have been my two most amazing bosses ever. No matter where I am, its you I’ll always look up to J (and to my juniors, I’ll try to be atleast half as good a boss as you’ve been to me J scoldings, and evil ‘I’m so going to kill you pushkar!’ stares included)

manoshi
my favouritesssst one and a half persons on this planet. What do I tell you? I can say I wish you find allllllll the happiness in this world. But actually, its pointless, coz I know you always will - coz I’ll be there kicking fate’s ass to keep it coming your way. always.PS: the tattoo, shot gun and the harley davidson bike with the ball chopper accessory deal is still on.

As i've often said... i'm not the kind to miss places and institutions and groups and companies, my attachments are purely to my people. and the best part about that is, no material distances can ever separate them from you :)

so goodbye, but no goodbye :)

love ye, awesomely awesome people of my awesomely awesome mumbai. Let's amke sure we keep this planet rockkinnggg! :D

-Pushkaraj Shirke

a monkey's guide to India (a summary of my road trip on the north south axis of India)

2010-09-28T14:33:00.015+05:30

a diary illustration of my entire bike-trip from north to south india and the adventures and sights on the journey

this is a fairly concise summary of my wanderings across India on my insane travel quest. These are just my experiences, so please do not entirely believe them until you've experienced the same/or different on your own. cheers!

pangong lake - ladakh (Kashmir)

Most incredible state in North India: KASHMIR

without a doubt the most scenic, most culturally inspiring, most photogenic place in India. The extreme climate may be a hassle for some, but the experience makes it all worth it. Good food, goood dope and even goooooder (read whacked out) roads to bike on. Living is cheap, food is nominal and travel is expensive - but if you have a bike, wear your sunscreen and have a good pair of glares and maybe a tent, you'll never forget this place in 10 lifetimes!!!

fluttering colourful prayer flags at the Leh palace

Most incredible state in the South India: KERALA

a lull, floating ride through the backwaters

scenic beaches, winding roads, white mist soaked hills, endless forests and sprawling backwater canals - it looks as if god put the best of everything into this one place! Definitely God's own country by all means. food you wont tire stuffing yourself with, getting healing ayurvedic massages, learning deadly ancient martial arts, riding elephants and rowing canoes - this is one places that lets you do it all - and it's dirt cheap!!! what more could you ask for???

kovalam beach - a sunset in heaven

MUSTHAVE foods in India
Jaipur-Jodhpur: Amritsari Naan with Sarson da Saag.
Mcleodgang (himachal pradesh): Momos and Thukpa (i know u get it all over india but trust me its nothing like this)
AndhraPradesh and Karnataka: Dum Biryani!!! yummmmm on the road sides :) bad in hotel. pls remember that.
Tamil-Nadu: Roadside MUTTUDOSAS (egg dosaa) - its the most filling and yummy 12 ruppee snack !
Kerela: Meen Polichatu and Karimeen Moleee..... yummmy fissshhyy foooodddddd :D
Goa: a beef steak and a tandoor/roast red snapper is my best bet on the beach shacks - its the ambiance that does it in i guess :)

i'd rather hog king coconuts than eat the food of k.k

Worst food in India: at KANYAKUMARI (Tamilnadu)
talk about characterless food, and its here. they don't have a menu of their own - its stolen form all over india and prepared in their own version of it!!!! i ate chips and peanuts for 2 days that i was here!

heavenly sunset in kanyakumari - the saving grace

me at the vivekananda memorial/thiruvallur statue at kanyakumari (TN)

The most boring state: Tamilnadu
why?????? coz according to their govt, every second temple is advertised as a tourist must visit destination - and besides temples, they practically have nothing!!! and even if they do, there'll be a temple right in the middle of it!!! the worst part is, all the temples are similar in architecture. yes they amaze you, but once you've seen 5, you've literally seen them all! add to that the fact that you ain't the religious type, and you are as bored as a walking zombie.

thiruvallur statue at sunset - kanyakumari

The state with the most shamelessly corrupt cops: KARNATAKA!!!!!! shocked??? I had also thought that Delhi would win hands down - but as a friend of mine put it across flawlessly: "cops in karnataka are so corrupt that for the right price, they'd screw their own mothers! for a little more, they'd let you join in too!"
despite having all papers in place i was pointlessly detained in 2 places in karnataka.
30 kms away from jog falls for 3 hours, they stop me and ask for papers. on seeing that i have all papers the cop says that my PUC certificate is not valid in Karnataka as it is yellow in colour and i need a BLUE one. They insist i pay a fine. I refuse. Then they play good cop bad cop and a chamcha cop asks me to settle the matter with a little money (read bribe). on refusing again, they all start talking to me in kannada as if they cant speak hindi or english and try to scare me into paying a fine. i refuse, pull up my bike, take out my sleeping bag and camp right there. 2 hours later, they miraculously all speak hindi again and even abuse in it!! and then they try giving me a lecture on ethics and value of time!!
another half hour later when they see that i wont pay a bribe, they return my papers and let me go.

even the lizards of tamilnadu are more co-operative than the cops of karnataka!

WHAT MAKES THEM THE WORST? the fact that mumbai and delhi cops are corrupt with a sense of shame, they know what they are doing is wrong. Karanatak cops do it as a matter of pride!!! the car had a fine collection side and a bribe collection side - a derelict plastic bag was shabbily propped up on a seat to put in all the bribe money as if were santa claus's booty bag!
PS: i did get their Info - the cop was wearing his badge in a way that i couldnt read the name but he said his name was circle inspector Sagara.... and the patrol car they were in was registered KA 14 G 725.

should have taken this keralite elephant (beenu)
to help me traverse the roads of maharasthra!

Worst Roads in India: MAHARASHTRA travel on the roads of maharastra and you'll know exactly what i mean. back breaking madnesss! broken roads, gravel, dust, dirt, insects flying at your eyes, sweltering heat..... phewwwww! I know the geography of the region and the coastal belt erodes roads faster, but dont tell me the state that houses some of the best minds in the country and the economic capital of the country dosent have the mental and financial resources to solve the problems!!! if only you bastardly politicians had the time to look at management more than stuffing your own pockets!!!!

The theft, rape and crime capital of India: DELHI
all you have to do is board a metro looking like a tourist, or answer a call on a swanky phone at a bus-stand or walk a road alone at night and you'll discover it for yourself. visit a police station and look at the crime record board. it'll make you feel like a statistics professor or something. stolen phones, stolen wallets, mugging, drugging, house break-ins, conning, assault - its all there. seems like a crime menu of sorts - as if you can pick your own gourmet crime experience for a price. luckily, i just had my phone stolen in the metro.

biking haven- open roads, deadly rides J&K

Most amazing bike route in North India: Manali - Keylong - Leh Bike through rocks and mountains, landslides and snow slides, snow and rivers and streams, dust and gravel,amazingly clear mettaled roads and roads you'd need a compass to know the way on. the scenery is of-course a bonus to all this. The painful skin peeling sun burn you are likely to suffer, also tottally worth it.

allepy-periyar-munnar : the smoothest curves ever!

Most amazing Bike route in South India: Aleppy - Periyar - Munnar
If this route was a woman, i'd fall for her downright, left and centre. the most incredibly smooth and eye-grabbing curves any one could ask for. add to that mist so think that you only see white and grey, pepper in a few sudden bursts of lush greens and endless stretches of cultures tea plantations, sprinkle in a few encounters with snakes and elephants, stroke it with challenging muck fields and bumpy backwater roads and you have the ride you were looking for. what a babe... errr, i mean place!

kovalam beach lighthouse

Best Beach In India: KOVALAM (KERELA) Scenic beach, waters so clear you can see the fish and jelly fishes swimming in the water, no crappy public, deep shoreline to swim in (unlike most beaches which are more sand and less water), great surf to ride the waves and amazing art shops all around. cheap as hell and thank heavens not yet discovered as a major tourist place!!!! Im so so soooo going here at every chance i get!!!!

Shiva must have his presence in TN religion.
But the bum bole dopie crap rules Karnataka

Best place for Drugs in India: KARNATAKA
i don't think i even need to explain why. its no wonder all the concerts in India are held in Bangalore. With corrupt cops running the state, hash, weed, mushrooms, ecstacy, heroin... you name it, its all available here. if you are a junkie, my darling, here you are in heaven.

a kalaripayatt performer blazes rings of fire with a staff

Most tourist friendly state in India: KERELA i considered quite a few parameters before deciding this. what struck it in is the massive absence of irritating touts in the state!!! unlike everywhere in India, they don't pester the shit out of you for a room, massage, this, that. tour, travel etc. they let you be! phewwww! what a relief that is!
secondly, even the waiters here speak atleast basic english and hindi along with their native language - which is a blessing if you have recently suffered TamilNadu.
and last but not the least, the modesty of the place is stunning. nothing is over hyped. Everything, every place, every place is aptly described and well worth every penny you pay for it. If you are a traveller, this state is the state you ought to travel in to really enjoy a journey.

planned a route on a road map, tracing off shoots from the golden quadrilateral. read up some suggesstions from the lonely planet - which is by the way the best travel assist ever. and then it was time for me and my bike to take off.

I could just keep writing this for hours and days and days together!!! so i think i'll just wrap this here. go out, grab a vehicle or just hop a bus or train and chase a unicorn around the country. you'll most probably find it sooner or later. or even if you don't you'll have experienced a country like no other - so diverse, so beautiful, so corrupt and yet so amazingly touching that you'll never be the same again. EVEN with or without the unicorn you were chasing :)

to living to the fullest,
cheers!
Pushkaraj Shirke

NOTE: all illustrations and images have been created/clicked by me. in case you need any, i have RAW images of them all.

Tata Photon - a consumer's nightmare!!!!

2010-08-09T19:24:00.005+05:30

Pushkaraj Shirke i purchased a TATA PHOTON connection from TRISHALA MARKETING. When i called just dial for a photon connection, these touts from trishala came over promising me a good deal. they sent their servicemen to deliver it to me, collect cash and collect address proof from me.
within one day the connection was disconnected.

they said it was cause the address proof was incorrect. i had specified when i purchased it that i had moved to a different house, which address proof they would have to collect the next day. they never came.
i have called over a hundred times to collect address proof, but no one ever comes despite promises being made.further on when i asked for a refund, they claim to have registered a complaint which according to them takes 7 days to be registered.

ITS BEEN OVER THREE MONTHS NOW THAT I HAVE NOT RECIEVED A REFUND - NOR HAVE THEY ACTIVATED MY SERVICE. which at this point i dont even think is worth buying.
Saturday at 2:48pm · Comment · · Flag

Tata Photon
Seems like you've hit a problem spot... could you please provide us with the details of your connection??

You can either give it to us here or mail it with this issue to 'tatateleserviceslimited[at]gmail.com'

we'll escalate your issue as soon as our offices open on Monday morning.
(And thanks for the link to the consumer forum post...)
Saturday at 2:53pm · ·

Pushkaraj Shirke what details do you want?
i have the useless tata photon device lying at my house for the past three months. 9920394613 is my phone number. give me a call and get it collected from my place asap.

Saturday at 9:23pm · ·

Tata Photon Thank you for your number. Our team will get in touch with you shortly. We'll also need the number of the photon device so we can check against our records to find the issue.

Saturday at 9:45pm · ·

Pushkaraj Shirke the one on the box?
or the one on the device sticker?
Saturday at 9:46pm · ·

Tata Photon There is a Customer Acquisition Form (CAP) form that you'd have filled when receiving your device. You'll find the Tata Photon number on it. (You may even find it printed on the inside of the box.)
8 hours ago · ·

Pushkaraj Shirke
i gave all those numbers to the person who called. i got 3 calls in one day. had to explain everything three times to each one of them!!!

if that's not frustration enough, they ask me to go to a shop in lokhandwala and give the details there again and check the status of my complaint - and i do that after waiting in lin.... and the counter girl tries to bloody cross sell a pre paid connection to me!!!

on top of that she tells me that my complaint was not registered earlier, so now i will have to re-register it and i will get only 2300 rs back from the 2500 rupees i paid - why??? because 200 rupees is non refundable activation charge!!!!
activation charge for a service i never used?????? for a fault you guys made in hiring people who'll sell just for the sake of selling irrespective of whether you can or cannot deliver the promised service???

i refused to submit my device and walked out of that place.
i think i deserve my full money back and more - for all the 100 calls i had to make, for travelling to the shop over and over again and for facing months of useless inaction from you guys!
25 minutes ago · ·

Pushkaraj Shirke in any case, here are all the numbers:
MEID: A1000005006992
pESN: 801FFC93
S/N: Z49MAB1011203982
6 minutes ago · ·

The Evolution of Martial Arts - my documentary research scrawl

2010-06-25T19:52:00.008+05:30

a rough thought map of my research and study on the evolution of martial arts.
I'm attempting to study the developments of all the major kinds of martial arts across the world - and the features that led to their development, propagation and in certain cases, extinction.

If the right funding comes through, i intend to make this into a feature length documentary.

As of now its just my own personal quest of curiosity and admiration of the science of martial combat.