How Truthful are Film Reviews?

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"My meme for the day: For all those who follow film reviews available in the media. It's as fake as everything else. #fact #film #review #meme" 

Media Film Reviews are written/created by 2 kind of 'journalists':

1. 'journalists' who barely passed college and/or are not good enough to do mainstream articles. 
So they get pushed down to do the perceptibly menial job of just writing off a 'film review'. These are typically idiots with no background in film appreciation, script, craft or even quality cinema. So you end up reading people whose idea o quality cinema is prime time cable television and reasearch means trolling the web and parrotting articles and views of actual experts/celebs/even greater idiots.
Would you rely on their reviews of films?

2. 'journalists' who have their tongue up the ass of producers, actors, directors and their pockets and genitalia or both closely intermingled with the same. These are people who will ass lick the crap out of a paying producers ass and call it art. These are the people responsible for every film ever made receiving a 4 star rating. These are people who would rate their own mother a whore if they had enough financial reasons to do so.
Would you trust their reviews?

So now what option do you have left?
I guess the only option left is to be wiser. To see for yourself which critcs are real and which publication is currently not making enough money and therefore actually publishing facts. To evaluate for yourself on the credibility and cast o certain films and judge whether you should watch it or not. To find friends with similar tastes and rely a bit on their judgement. Or as always works best, TAKE THE RISK, see the movie yourself at the risk of having to tear your hair out mid movie, and be your own judge and critic of the movie.

If nothing, you'll atleast spend a few good hours in an AC and contribute a few bucks to idiots besides politicians if nothing else.
If the gamble works, you just might hit the jackpot and end up watching a movie that's a true classic or atleast a great piece of cinema - but unfortunately comes from shallow pockets not deep enough to buy out paid media and big promotions and big star gaga dramatics.
Andaaz apna apna, pyaar ka punchnaama, waisa bhi hota hai - part 2 are just a few examples of such brilliant films that were screwed over by media critics but tottally worked for me! 
You must have had a few examples yourself too, i'm sure.

-Pushkaraj S Shirke