a timecapsule of letters

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Found a little time capsule of letters and notes from friends and from the people i have loved. And notes and poems i had written about them. Also a book that I had written. It's such a trip back in time to relive all those moments - happiness and pain and ecstasy. So amazing to be reminded of how deeply you felt something back at a moment in time. So revealing to see time change things and people and at the same time sometime, to see it not be able to change a thing. It's so amazing to see a pattern in your own behaviour that you are otherwise oblivious to - to see that everytime a serious relationship broke, it took two years of self destructive behaviour to heal the pain - and in retrospect, to be able to see how stupid it was. To be able to learn a lesson out of it. To be able to take it in and assimilate it and feel no animosity towards anyone but just happiness instead - for them and yourself. It's a huge mixed bag of feelings when you take a walk through your past. But most of it, is still just plain beautiful. A reminder that you have lived a life you can call your own. And in my case, however it was, it was always a 110%. And I love that.