Time after time life throws surprises at you. You may be most prepared for them, but yet they surprise you. Well if not surprise, bloody well shock you.
There's this 'YOU' that you hold in your head and then there's the 'YOU' others hold in their heal.... and then there's the real you. And some fine day life decides to crash you into the contrasts of all the three - and not just nimbly - but like a ball of bone and flesh through a mosaic of steel nails and crude, crittered, shrapnel glass.
That's exactly what just happened to me lately - and i've been wondering what to do. There's always the simplest option - to shake it off and move on like nothing happened. Damn! im good at that indifference. OR then, face it. Stare at it. Look at every bloody piece of glass sticking out of you. Know why you were bone and flesh - and why the picture was a collage of contrasts in the first place. I think that takes courage. A lot of it. Which is why it is so tempting to shake away from it.
But all said and done, my own narcissism or self respect as i call it, makes me want to face it. I think there's a lot to learn in it. Afterall, whats wrong in learning something - coz finally wether you apply it or leave it is entirely upto you anyways!
This time i think i want to face it all - in the face, as it is. There's no walking away. There's no forgetting it. It's time i learnt a few new lessons. The harder ones. The ones i've always managed to avoid. The price i have to pay may be overbearing, but im gonna consider it the fee for all the classes i avoided over the years. I think i need to take this journey to the other side.
I need these lessons. Coz they are the only way i'd know the other side for myself.
And that's whats most important to me.
And that's whats most important to me.
I need to face it. Not forget it. I need... TO KNOW.
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