Monday, December 22, 2008

Catalysed by Conflict

F^#@ offff!!!! $%#$$%##!!!!
Crasshh !!! Banngg!!! Get the F#^k out of here!!!!
Godddammnnn helll!!
I look back at all the years gone by and i can't help but see or rather hear vividly how the best of changes have come about. Whether love or hate, good or bad, beautiful or ugly - it all all grown or perished, catalysed by conflict.

As a person, the first reaction to any conflict has most often been rage, anger, dislike and intolerance. When i look a it closely, its quite the same in nature - When u exercise, your muscles fatigue, you feel like giving up, you want out.
BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU KEEP AT IT. What happens when you face the conflict instead of running away from it? Two possibilities face you: Either you adapt or develop a new perspective and grow.... or you fail to do so and stunt your growth or degenerate.

The way i see it, Conflicts are like a protein - They are the building blocks of the body IF the body is able to digest it, Breaking down the body, if not. (FYI Snake venom is nothing but protein - so strong that it starts digesting the body that is unable to break it down and digest it).
And the best part is, the more conflicts you face, just like a nutrient, the more you are able to handle them, process them and derive nutrition out of them! the more you can grow!

From my own experiences, across all spheres of life - physical, emotional, intellectual, i have found conflicts to be the one 'definite source' of growth. Whether it is about standing up against what is 'wrong' as a 10 year old, about doing the homework i hate the most, about working with a colleague i don't get along with, about loving someone who has ideas that are worlds apart, about living the way you want to in a society that wants you to blindly conform - It has only helped me grow. Grow in terms of my conviction of my beliefs, grow in terms of opening my mind, grow in terms of learning to accept appropriate change, grow in terms of a person who has discovered the key and willingness towards perpetual growth.

Definitely there is a dark side to conflict - in case it becomes too much and too frequent for you to handle, it can break you down. It can deteriorate relationships. It can end great things. It can cripple you! So it doesn't really make sense to go out of your way searching for conflict (unless you are ready to put it a risk - and lose it all). The best way seems to be to take it as it comes, along YOUR way. Along your chosen path. If and when it arises, deal with it - grow through it, or end it. And when you are beyond it, you'll be most thankful; for it.

In my weird little strange life, that's exactly how it has been. And I'm most thankful for it all. Are you too?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Face it or Forget it

Time after time life throws surprises at you. You may be most prepared for them, but yet they surprise you. Well if not surprise, bloody well shock you.

There's this 'YOU' that you hold in your head and then there's the 'YOU' others hold in their heal.... and then there's the real you. And some fine day life decides to crash you into the contrasts of all the three - and not just nimbly - but like a ball of bone and flesh through a mosaic of steel nails and crude, crittered, shrapnel glass.

That's exactly what just happened to me lately - and i've been wondering what to do. There's always the simplest option - to shake it off and move on like nothing happened. Damn! im good at that indifference. OR then, face it. Stare at it. Look at every bloody piece of glass sticking out of you. Know why you were bone and flesh - and why the picture was a collage of contrasts in the first place. I think that takes courage. A lot of it. Which is why it is so tempting to shake away from it.

But all said and done, my own narcissism or self respect as i call it, makes me want to face it. I think there's a lot to learn in it. Afterall, whats wrong in learning something - coz finally wether you apply it or leave it is entirely upto you anyways!

This time i think i want to face it all - in the face, as it is. There's no walking away. There's no forgetting it. It's time i learnt a few new lessons. The harder ones. The ones i've always managed to avoid. The price i have to pay may be overbearing, but im gonna consider it the fee for all the classes i avoided over the years. I think i need to take this journey to the other side.
I need these lessons. Coz they are the only way i'd know the other side for myself.
And that's whats most important to me.

I need to face it. Not forget it. I need... TO KNOW.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

the traveller

He stands at the horizon
where the valleys end
the echoes the darkness
the venoms end
there is a silence
that lasts more than a while
washes down the bruises
cleanses the scars
he yet knows not
where the horizon ends
where his paths take him
or where he heads
he looks back at the journey
and bruises meet a smile
there at the midways
he waits a while
closes his eyes
and stands there still
as he opens his heart
to the paths within.

Friday, August 8, 2008


They stand at the pile
all wooden and dead
they smile their dirty smiles
of lies and hate
for they have him inside
trapped alive but dead.
They set it on fire
and it burns bright
but not half as the gleam
that now lights up their eyes.
He doesn’t scream
nor moan he does...
its just a silent tear
that he feeds the pyre.
Is he hurt enough
to burn and die?
Is he dead enough
to live another lie?
He was forged of the fires
that they try to make his end.
He has lived with the flames
that they try to make his end.
All he has to do
is just rise up again
to command the flames
back to his feet again...
But he doesn’t move,
he just lies there still...
as the pyre burns him down
in blazing timbers of lies,
burning tongues that scar his flesh
scars that burn to ashes dead.
He lies there dying,
almost dead.
It was never the flames nor the cinders
that even scorched his head
what burns him true,
is not that pyre of hate,
what chars him alive
is that ONE last lie.

-Pushkaraj Shirke

Friday, July 25, 2008

Remember the Titans

monkeyrating: 9/10

This is the movie most coaches and sportspeople would wish they had seen earlier. This is the movie many teamleaders would wish to own. This is the movie, no matter who you are or what you do, will open your eyes to INSPIRATION.

waddabout: Based on a true story, this movie is the amazing tale of triumph - not of a sports team alone, but also that of trust above colour - and of humanity over prejudice. It depicts the touching tale of how a mixed colour sports team in a colour conscious america witnessed its own transformation of unity and drove it to overcome everyone. How one small group of people could set an example for a nation. And of how one small man, with one small job - of coaching a local football team, could MAKE THAT POSSIBLE!

This movie is apart from most other inspiring movies in the sense that it thrills, if feels, it makes you move and jump in your couch - and in your head. It goes beyond a docu-drama movie into the realms of sheer gripping entertainment and yet manages to deliver its message as perfectly as possible.

monkeyrespect to: Denzel washington is definitely the star of this movie. No one could have delivered this role with more conviction than him. You can FEEL him make the miracles happen!

watch out for: music that gets you addicted, great performances and gooosebumps during the sport sequences!
i say: I definitely recommend this movie to every one.
Get the DVD. and share it with 'your team' for sure.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Dark Knight - Excellence returns to Gotham!

What a movie!! Absolutely mindblowing! Even if i wasnt a hardcore fan of the dark knight - aka Batman, i'd be blown away!
This movie does absolute justice to the graphic novel and goes beyond. Christosopher Nolan has outdone himself with this piece of art. The Dark Knight goes beyond the genre of an action-caped crusader movie into the realms of philosophy and the nature of the human mind. It graphically as well as overtly explores the concepts of heroism, ethics, justice and choices. Four of the most fundamental issues that have probed people for centuries. This movie explores it, and delivers it with conviction through its characters.
In terms of acting, i can bet on the fact that Heath Ledger will bag an oscar for his negative performance as the clown.
The entire movie is filled with so much drama that the entire 152 minutes of the movie give you the greatest sense of satisfaction you ever found in a theatre.
Im going to watch this movie again for sure. I think you should catch it too.

**BTW, kindly ignore what they have done to the Batman's mask.

Watch The Trailer and get synopsis n stuff at the Official site - which btw is super awesome too:

Friday, July 18, 2008


When Jenn Stuczynski jumped 4.90 then 4.92 at the US Olympic trials everyone started saying that: 'Isinbayeva is finished, we have a new star’.
Just a week later, Isinbayeva, the world record holder in pole vaulting, proved them all as wrong as can be. At the Golden League in Rome, coming back stronger and harder than before, she broke her own previous world record to set an incredible one of 5.03m!

Now that's what i call Happiness. Pure joy.
Look at her face. You can feel it. You can feel her heart tearing out into shreds as she screamed with happiness.

How many of us have really felt that kind of happiness? How many of us feel that kind of happinesss?
Living our day to day lives like cattle. Going on doing the same routines, day in and day out. Where is the sense of achievement. Or more importantly, hard earned, heart driven, soul tearing achievement!
When was the last time you felt like you'd done the gift of life some justice?
When was the last time you felt that your life was really worth its existence?
When was the last time you drove yourself to something that made you think, 'Yes... I made it possible!'
When was that? For most of us... that was probably long ago. For most... long long ago. And for a few... can't even remember.

When faced with questions and controversy, most of us just hide. Recede. Get hit back into our shells. We fail to realise that what we are shying away from is that little piece of semi sadistic, yet well deserved happiness that lies at the other of silencing our critics for good. And that only comes through a performance that lies beyond ourself. It lies in pushing ourselves beyond the temptation to recede, into the realm of fire driven ambition and persistence. Into a 'mission' to outperform ourselves to what we belive is our true potential. Towards silencing everyone who ever thought otherwise. Towards being what YOU belive you are.

There's no better answer to critique in words. And there's no other ridicule to ridicule in action.
Drive yourself beyond a critique and towards the end, no matter what the outcome - you most probably find yourself still invincible in your confidence - coz you know deep within that you have done what you could to take yourself beyond what anyone could imagine. And that's what counts!

What does it take us to go beyond ourselves to achieve a moment of pure happiness?
Its just a guess, but i think its just a small change of perception.

That's the key i guess. to happiness.

Hancock - good fun but NOT worth the hype, really!

Will Smith! Now that’s a man who can really carry an entire movie on his shoulders. Even if it’s a super-powered one. And Hancock is just evidence to that.
This crisply made modern day tale of a superhero and the media and the relationship between them is pretty well put together. And packed with Will’s awesome comic timing and brilliant acting this movie makes a worthy watch.
The topping on the cake would be the awesomely planted surprise shocker in the movie. It makes a fresh viewing and makes what could be just another post-modern superhero movie into something larger. But yet, I’d say its quite a one time watch only. Entertaining, but in second seats as compared to its release rival – Kung Fu Panda.

Kung Fu Panda - Prepare for Awesomeness!

This is one movie you just got to got to got to watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The promotions for this movie have been apallingly badddd! But what a movie this is!!!!! Thank god i went for it - or i would have never discoverd what AWESOMENESS truly is!!!!!
This year (2008) had been pretty dissapointing in terms of movies for me - except for I am Legend... and now Kung Fu Panda. Jack Black lends his characteristic insanity to this animated flick with full gusto and conviction. The story is simple and adorable, and the characters are too. Though the characters hardly have many dialogues, it is only in the end that you realize that all of them have been played by amazing actors like Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie, Lucy liu et al!
The movie has everything - fun, action, story, meaning, a take home message and more than everything, as Jack Black would call it - Awesomeness! A 100% must watch! Buy - steal - do whatever!
You just got to watch this movie! AND own the DVD!
General gyaan:
Kung Fu Panda is an animated film about a panda who learns martial arts and then uses this new ability to fight his enemies. Kung Fu Panda is being directed by John Stevenson and Mark Osborne and produced by Melissa Cobb. The idea for the film was conceived by Michael Lachance, a DreamWorks Animation executive. The film is due for release on June 6, 2008. It will be distributed by Paramount Pictures.The film stars the voices of, among others, Jack Black, Seth Rogen, Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie and Lucy Liu.Story: Po (Jack Black) is a panda who is a kung fu fanatic, but whose defining characteristic appears to be that he is the laziest animal in ancient China. Evil warrior Tai Lung (Ian McShane) has escaped from prison, and all hopes have been pinned on a prophecy naming Po as the "Chosen One" to save the day. He has a kung fu master, Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) who "has trained five of the greatest warriors that the world has ever known", to help him.Notably, all the original disciples of the main masters are animal stances or styles commonly used in the art of kung fu - Tigress (Tiger), Monkey, Snake, Crane and Mantis. Shen Lung Kung Fu uses those animals as a base for the whole system.

Cinderella Man - An inspiration to every father, husband, soul.

If you are a parent, or a child, if you have ever known what it feels like to be cared for or to care - this is one movie that you must must watch! More than through the trials of a champion, this movies takes you through the trials of a loving father and a caring husband - the pain and desperation of poverty and the faith and power of hope.

Crowe's depiction of the protagonist touches you perfectly in ways that would moisten your eyes if you have in your life ever seen a "rainy" day. Though many would say this is just another boxing movie, i would beg to differ. The critics have their picks against the movie, but i still find it a really inspiring movie. Maybe the most important reason why this movie deserves a place in any good DVD collection is that it teaches you to be a better parent, a better person and a stronger man against adversities.

This movie does to you what 10 self help books would never be able to. It's a little piece on visual nirvana, if i may call it so. Absolutely love the movie! A must addition to your DVD collection.

Kill Bill - Vol.1

"Vengeance is a dish best served cold." Quentin Tarantino's masterpiece onscreen adaptation of THE BRIDE (a Japanese graphic novel) is one hell of a show! from blood and gore to philosophy from music to moves - this movie is one piece of work that'll leave an image on your mind for life! The best saga of rage and revenge you'll ever come across! This movie definitely features on my top 10 of FILM-MAKING greats.

The way Tarantino brings post-modernism to cinema is artistic! He has used almost every possible trick in the book of simplicity to add effect to every scene as an individual piece. Black and white scenes, animae, monotone film, graphic novel style edits - he's used it all within this one film. Uma Thurman carries her role of a revenge seeking killing machine to perfection. But hey, that's like the welcome cherry on the cake. And then there's the music! You'd wonder where all Tarantino went to scout for his music! Authentic Japanese music, techno, retro, country, jazz, pop - every soundtrack used in the movie is just so different and fresh and so perfectly in tune with the movie scenes that it blows your head off!

The gore is really level ten gore though, you may be warned. There is so much artistic bloodshed in the movie that my mom was duly thrilled. Yes, she loves violence - as long as its coming from a woman. As in Kill Bill. Maybe that's why this movie is many a girlie's favourite too. Great way to get over your ex! Pop in some pop corn and watch that woman smash those men! Awesome!

Get the DVD - it's worth it. (For whatever reason you choose)
A fan made remix mash up of one of the most awesome scenes from the movie - crazy 88 v/s the bride:

Life is Beautiful

Definitely the most meaningful foreign film of all time! Robert Benigni's 'La vita e bella' or 'Life is beautiful' takes you through simplicity and happiness, humour and love. And then crashes you onto the gruesome realities of war. What conquers is the feeling that love, even against death and the inevitable end - finds a way to live on.

The movie, unlike most meaningful movies dosen't go too hard on you. It is light even in the darkest of scenes. It does not indulge is gory scary scenes that make you go pale. In fact, at times it is so subtle that you don't even realize that it made you cry until you find your tears running down your face.

In a nutshell - this movie takes you on a journey of life, faith and relationships with every emotion that you have got within you! it makes you smile, feel proud, laugh, sniffle, cry and be inspired all at the same time! This movie truly make you realise that yes, life truly is beautiful! Keep a DVD of this movie with you and it shall be your greatest asset someday!


monkeyrating: 8/10

genre: Drama, Crime, Action

waddabout: In a nutshell, this movie is the life in the 90's of the darker sides of the dream the world calls Mumbai.

its just an honest depiction of the web of circumstances in the world - set in the reality of the dream city of Mumbai it drags you into the circumstances of the protagonist, who even as a honest, simple man ends up as an outlaw whilst safeguarding his own self-respect. And how he spirals downwards further into the whirlpools of the underworld and politics.

i say: Definitely one of my favourite Hindi movies!
Graphic and Heartwrenching!

monkeyrespect to: Manoj Bajpayee as Bhiku Mhatre is definitely one of the most memorable characters produced by bollywood. His antics and dialogues are absolutely iconic! He is the life of this movie! And then there's also his whole bunch of fun baddies like Kallu Mama and the gang.

The music is awesome! Even years after watching this movie, i still find myself humming its songs at times. And obviously- the 'junglee'/wild dancing to 'Sapano mein milta hai' - the most crazy track from this movie!
It would be impossible not to respect Ram Gopal Varma's direction and Vishal bharadwaj's scriptwriting talent in this film. it is their best work ever.

watch a scene from the movie: Satya's emotional breakdown:

all views expressed belong to an opinionated dickhead called Pushkaraj Shirke. If you have differing views, feel free to share them or visit

Sadma - Bollywood's most overlooked classic

One of the best movies to come out of India, SADMA is a mindblowing piece of film-making. ONE HAS TO WATCH THIS MOVIE!

Unlike most Bollywood crankies, this one is not just a sobby tragic story - its a movie in the true sense. It MOVES you.The movie is about a man who rescues a woman from a brothel as she is mentally challenged (due to an accident). And eventually falls in love with her. The movie flows through their entire story of bonding and innocent love right up to the end. Where comes the most powerful and wrenching twist of it all! (you have to watch it to know it).The pain and the love, the trauma and the happiness -both lost and found shall sway you to tears. Kamal Hasan's performance as the simple hearted man in love with a mentally challenged girl (Sridevi) is absolutely brilliant.

For me, this was the movie that made me realise that movies can make you cry!This movie is definitely the finest piece of work from the classic ages of Bollywood. A MUST WATCH!

The most beautiful song from the movie - 'Aye zindagi, galy laga ley':

Million Dollar Baby

monkeyrating: 9/10

genre: drama sport

waddabout: a professional boxing trainer cum manager helps a determined woman from a low economy class to achieve her ambition of becoming a boxer. the consequences that follow, grip them all.

# This movie is a brilliant piece of work no matter what many hard bred critics might say - it moves you if you have a heart. And is truly deserving of every nomination it got. Its a movie that leaves you out in the open with all the world has to offer - the good and the bad. And in a characteristic Clint Eastwood style, leaves you open to your own conclusions.

monkeyrespect to: Clint eastwood! for making this masterpiece! The boxing sequences are well done, the actors are simply brilliant, the direction is perfect. He actually got Hillary Swank to really train in boxing to do this movie, and that's more than just obvious by the performance she has delivered. She deserves monkeyrespect for that too!

Morgan Freeman's undershadowed performance is the layer of calm in this movie!
The intensity of each of their performances grips you as if it were all for real. If you are the kind who has grown out of hardships, this movie is sure to move you deeply.
I say: You got to own this DVD if you ever have the courage to open up and shed a tear in front of someone else. As this is one movie which will most definitely move you. No matter what.

Unlike most boxing/sports movies, this is not an all out inspirational movie. This movie is LIFE. And What's the best part of it is the misty hollow hope filled feeling the movie leaves within you at the end.
I wouldn't want to disclose it here simply for the reason that YOU need to watch this movie to know exactly HOW it FEELS.
Watch the trailer:

Monday, June 30, 2008

To everything...

Sloshed to the core by the end of the night. My amazing amazing friends who made it there. Cake. Booze. Chocolates. Drunk singing. Freestyle dancing. Tequila shots. Evil photo sessions! Damn those horns! I dunno where to start and where to end!
So just putting down my thoughts as i raised the final toast of the day i finally turned 6,

To Friends...
I know im quite a dumbass and a clown. But whatever it may be, as a friend, im the guy you can always count on. I'm the guy who never breaks his word. And have always been so. And yeah, that's something worth bragging - coz i hardly know a few others who can boast of the same. So to friends for whom i've always been there, and who cudn't be there on that one day in a year... there's not much i can say except that i forgive you.
But what's more important is all those amazing friends of mine who made it a point to be there with me - despite the fact that they had their exams the next day, despite the fact that it was 2 a.m. post a long day at work, despite the fact that they were scheduled to leave the city at 6 a.m next morning and what not!
I love you guys. A LOT! (and bloody hell you know when I say A LOT i mean a LOT more than just a LOT!)
I love the fact that i have found friends like you in a place so fucked up as plant earth!
So this drink is to you. And to the fact that i so love you.

To Winning...
The last time i remember losing is when i gave up winning to win back my soul. That's a long story. But over time i've realised that probably the one thing i do best - is this thing called winning. And it's time i take it on full throttle again. Coz it's like being a fish and not wanting to swim. The only difference is that from now on the fields, the courts, the stages are gonna be different.
I love winning. And I'm made for it. And I'm no longer going to keep away coz it scares others or intimidates the shit out of them.
So this drink is to that one thing i do best. Win.

To love...
To my grandfather and greenapple. and to everyone who's had the heart to be a part of my weird little life. that's all i'll say here.

And to everything in life.


Sunday, June 22, 2008

Bike trippin'

Me and my panther on the way back frm the road trip. The gang in the back ground. Crazy times.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The List!

From my range of insane things to do, I do this one particularly regularly. Once a year almost - Birthday or New Year.

There's this stoopid thing i do. First, i got to be drunk. Not that that helps exactly, but it kinda frees your mind. Or maybe i just prefer doin it when im drunk (which happens only twice a year :)). Then next, i got to be with my best friends, or people i really trsut - so that they make sure im actually thinking clearly.
And then! I make the list of alllllllllllll the things i want to do/accomplish within 12 months from that day!

I call it THE LIST. It's kinda like what you see in the movie 'The Bucket List'. But only that i started this ritual long before the movie released. and i do it yearly. Not once in a lifetime. And i put in allllllllll sorts of things! and make sure they are done! :D


So peoples, do you think this is a good idea??
I was wondering if you could suggest things that one must must must do in a lifetime???
It may be crazy, fun, nice, romantic, aspirational, save the world types, kill the world types, nething at all!!!! Just lemme know! :) Coz my this year's list is gonna come up soon :) and i really need to know what new things i can add in :)

Then maybe we can just go on discussing bout things that are really really worth doing. (pun maybe intended).

For reference, i'll put up what was my last year's list of things to do:
1. Discover whether true love exists.
2. Get __ lakhs into my bank account.
3. Buy my mother a diamond ring.
4. Get my own house.
5. make short films.
6. Learn a new sport (parkour)
7. Learn ball-room dancing.
8. Experiment with the top-most speed limit of my bike.
10. Apologise to all the ppl i may have ever hurt.

So... what's worth adding in this year?
[ if you are orkut, you can add in here too : ]

Thursday, June 5, 2008


"Fit into this. Fit into that. Be part of group. Have fixed circle. Build your social support system. Be with people. Be around people. Do like they do. Be like they do." WHY THE HELL?

From the first memeories i have, i remember being alone. Playing within my mind. Bonding with the silence that surrounds me. In love with the wind that kisses my face. Passionate about everything i choose to do. AND THEN I REMEMBER BEING ASKED TO FIT IN.

From nursery to school. From school to the hostel. From hostel to college. and a different college. At work. At home. It is the same "why dont you fit in?".

The way i look at it, some people are made not to fit in. I'm definitely not. And maybe that's just how it is.

I don't NEED 'fitting in'. Why should YOU bother? Cause you 'fit in' and are happy? or cause you made compromises to 'fit in' and now feel it occward to meet some one who didnt and is still happy? Why?

Over the years, i've learnt to be social. I've learnt to reach out and connect. I've learnt to understand and bond with people. BUT I'VE NEVER REALLY MANAGED TO LEARN TO STAY. The way i've learnt it, friendship isn't a forced dependance. A 'you NEED to hang out with me', a 'you NEED to do this with me' or a 'we NEED to have fun together' isn't it. Be friends. Be there for your friends. But that's it. Why be a groupie?? Why be a herd??

Let's see. I have over 500 friends. And yes, they are all amazing people. Smart, emotionally receptive, great human beings. But there are just a few that make it to being the people i'd come back home to. A few friends that really understand my silence amongst even all the words i blabber off the top. A few friends that i care about beyond my life. And i guess they are all that truly matter to me.

It's like being the lone wolf. You have a pack of your own. But you need to stray away. Its the wild that calls out to you. You are always there for your pack. You'd give everything for your pack. But you don't NEED to be a part of it.

Being alone isn't the same as being lonely. My happiness lies within me. While other people NEED others to have a great time, i don't always do. Sometimes, i'm best left to being myself. Kind of like the lone wolf that i am within.

Wild. Free. And sometimes, best left ALONE.

Monday, May 26, 2008

The wrong road home

90 kmph on a burning yellow night. You can hear your heartbeat within your helmet. The roar of the engine has faded into oblivion somewhere at the back of your mind. You hear it no more. Only the halogen lamps that tower like old wise men with lamps above the road ahead of you and the occassional whizz of the cars you speed past meet your mind.

You speed ahead of yourself. Your mind reaching for further limits than your machine. Stopping dosent even occur. The road ahead seems calling. Maybe a turn or two here and you shall be home. Turning, out of the question. You've missed that turn a few kilometres ago.

Blink. The yellow is gone. A darkness fills the road. Only the beam of your machine is what leads the road ahead. Crusing the highway. A few metres at a time. A cold rush now meets your skin. The moonlight soothes you in a way that makes you decelerate. But you don't feel the need for speed no more.

There are trees here. Like old men guarding what's left to be swallowed by the encroaching concrete jungles. The moonlight silhouttes them. They whisper onto the road. You crise on slowly trying to hear them speak maybe. You hear nothing but maybe that what feels like peace.
It's pitch dark. But for the few lonely lights that share the same road.

You are on the wrong way. You keep going on. Quite a few miles away from your destinatation. But this darkness feels like home.

Maybe i've known this feeling before. The crossing of boundaries between the wrong and the right. Like losing yourself is really finding yourself. Like what's wrong is truly right.

Like taking the wrong road... home.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Oh! That's Advertising! - Part 1

When people ask me what do i do - I say 'I help great services sell great'. That's me. Im a copywriter/advertiser. A creative thinker. But more than anything else, if i had to speak for myself, i'd say im a MARKETER.

Im not the advertising guy who believes great creativity is the same as great advertising. Im the kind of creative idiot who dosent hold 'creativity' awards in great regard. Im the kind of buffoon who is more concerned about using creativity as a TOOL to garner business rather than vice versa.
Im the creative dumb who loathes scam ads - the ones they release just to bag awards, im the fool who'd rather win over a client or a business award than win an award that displays my skill at convincing my client to dump his money into releasing shit that would never attain any of his business objectives.
That's me. And that's MY world of advertising. The kind i've learnt from my idol - the late great Albert Lasker. And quite a bit from the man i consider my godfather in this Industry - Mr. Rajesh Makhija.

But then hello. Welcome to the real world. Im but one guy.

Thanks to a gazillion awards shows and the great media rape (don't get me started on that one unless there's time) advertising has evolved - just the way we humans have - its 'evolved' into something more complicated, more refined AND MORE SHALLOW than ever before.

A million new avenues have opened up. Almost every part of people's lives is now touched by the persuaive charms woven by advertising creatives. TV, radio, billboards, paper cups, buses, bus tickets, door handles, mail, more mail, events, dishes, railways, airways, freebies, pay-bies - and what not and what so ever! Almost every thing that now touches your consciousness is likely to have a BRAND behind it.
There are a million brands. A million brand wannabes. And a million agencies promising them their exclusive BRAND status in the minds of the people who are almost zombiefied by the inflow of BRANDED stimuli on their half dizzy conciousness.

What aspect of a creative makes the difference between finding and maintaining that space in the consumers conciousness and just flickering away into oblivion is just one thing - the perception of 'CREATIVITY'.
There are three ways to go about it:
1. Creativity is everything.
Creativity is god. All we do should be creative creative. Wow! whoa! Great etc etc.

2. Business communication is everything.
Stats. Facts. Explanations. Convincing. Profit - loss. This that. I'm better so buy me. Creativity can go take a hike. And so on.

3. Creativity is the Tool.
Business is the objective. Creativity is the lever to set the displacement in the right direction. Garner your business with a spoon called creativity. Creative - Business. Business - Creative.

The first perspective is what often bags some brilliant cannes, one shows and great ad awards et al. It stands out. It amuses. It creates an impact and How! Unfortunately, often many of them take the business nowhere. Look back at history and you shall find some brilliant campaigns. Look a little ahead and you shall find how badly they failed. (some of the companies that released them probably got erased out of existence over time.)

The second perspective is what gets and ad lost like a needle in the haystack. Like just another ad. Like just another hawker screaming to sell his wares. In a world where its proven that men are looking for heuristics (mental shortcuts) to reach decisions, this perspective provides just the opposite! What do you expect?

The third perspective is that what makes advertising a true art. It's the perfect balance. It's the yin and yang. It's what results in the kind of advertising that allures and seduces you with such finesse, it almost seems effortless.
It stands out. It connects. It convinces. And it's trust worthy.
This is the perspective that often wins an award called the EFFIES. (damn i love it!)
And this is the perspective that advertising is truly about.
This is the perspective that has the potential to win a CANNES GOLD as well as an EFFIE GOLD. (just for the record - only 2 campaigns have ever done that, and rightfully so - 1. 1984 and 2. Dove 'Evolution')
Simply speaking, 'creativity as a tool' is the perspective that got Tom Sawyer an Apple in exchange for the 'fun' experience of painting a fence.

Aint it?

for now, shall leave it here... shall discuss a little more in the next segment. Do keep your comments flowing in if there's anything you'd like to discuss.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Comfortably Numb

I remember the first major flesh wound i ever had. It was off a stray stone on the basketball court - which docked happily into my knee to greet my fall. That's inconsequential though. What matters is what happened next.

Crash. and Pain.

The moment it tore through the flesh, i was busy looking for a way to understand what was happening - as i tore my way to the concrete, pushed down by one of those creatures who never understood what winning a game is all about. As i lay down on the gray the blood spurt out onto my hand that reached out to grab the knee. Scared more than hurt maybe, i went cold... but there was sweat running down my face more profusely than during the game.

It was a while before the 'hurt' set in. It pained.

'everything would be alright'
I sat down on the bench besides the court as my team-mates hovered around - some fetching water to wash the wound, some to try and help me move my leg, and some just for the entertaining experience of looking at the blood gushing out of my knee. But mostly there were people who wanted to help me believe that everything would be alright. That there was nothing to worry about.

And it went numb. Maybe my body knew better than me. And it didnt hurt so much no more.

liking the numb.
A little later, the stone was out, the wound was washed and bandaged, and there was a numbness in the pain that surrounded it. It hurt, but just a little. I could walk, but the limp was visible, and often the blood seeped out of the bandage and gave it away. I sought the numbness with the medicines i took. But never forgot the pain i had felt that moment.

watching it heal.
It was for days that the wound would creep onto my senses at every touch. Send a bell to my head and a blinding green to my eyes everytime i accidentally banged it onto an obstacle. But it was healing. I could see it getting dry again. The pain was vanishing slowly and steadily as the skin grew again and crawled over to cover it up. The wound soon would be inside, beneath the skin, getting healed to perfection, well... almost. I used to watch it, trying to feel my knee the way it used to feel before.

In love with the numb.
Months later, the wound on the knee was gone. Just a faint colored hairless patch of skin stood evidence to what it had endured. And to the miracle of healing. The knee still hurt more than the other on long runs, but actually speaking, it was numb. Even the skin over it wasn't as sensitive as it was before. It was as though the wound had healed, but had taken away a part of me with it.

Honestly, rather than the pain, it was this numbness i preferred. I was comfortable in the numbness that surrounded it. The lack of sensation had now become a part of me. I always remembered the wound - but i now also carried the gift it had given me - the healing numb sensation that didn't leave me for years.

Even today, years after the incident, when I'm all fine and healed and stronger and better than ever before - i can still feel the scar on my knee. I feel it at times and it still ain't as sensitive as the other knee. But i love the way it feels as it mingles with my memories. It feels a lot different than anything else.
It feels Comfortably Numb.

I guess that's just the way every wound heals.
Even those that are way beneath the flesh.
Somewhere deep within.

I guess that's just the way every wound heals.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Monday, March 17, 2008

The shape-up work out: The stupidest workout schedule i ever did

In retrospect, this was the stupidest regime i ever followed. it literally starved me and made me weak instead of fit. but i have still kept it on my blog as a reord of my follies.
this is similar to the idiotic fads like P90X and INSANITY workouts. its really stupid, even though on the outset, it seems to work. But you end up losing quality muscle mass and fat, and getting really weak - while you think what you have lost is only fat. 

15 Jan
Past the new year party spree, i had ended up bloating up 5 extra kgs - k extra kgs of fat - not muscle. Thats the chubby stuff.
Obviously i wanted it off. Its kinda funny to see muscles with semi flabby mass hiding all the cuts and definition that you have worked so hard to build up.
And then it struck me - why not use this opportunity to build up all the mass that i wanted to!
And that what i did for a month and a half - with pure weight training (max weights for 6-8 reps each) and zero cardio - i reached 70 kgs - in almost complete muscle mass.

1st march.
Now came the tough task - to shape all i had acquired into proper definition. phew! There was no way to attain my target with just a work out - so a diet had to be incorporated into the schedule to met my target.

What's stated below is no recommendation of any sort - its purely the regime i followed:

The 7 day Detox:
day 1: only water
day 2: only fruit juices (without sugar)
day 3: only fruit juices (without sugar)
day 4: light foods, non spicy, salads, basic food stuffs
day 5: light foods, non spicy, basic food stuffs
day 6: 4 light meals a day - minimal/zero oil
day 6: 4 light meals a day - minimal/zero oil

The General diet:
This is following the detox diet.
Minimum carbohydrates and starch. Stick to protein as far as possible.
3 meals a day + maximum water consumption.
Pulses/eggs/roasted meat/peanuts for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
No rice at all. Esp no rice for dinner.
maximum 2 chapattis a day.

The Works:
workout - workout - stretches - work out - complete rest - workout legs - rest

Day 1: Cardio + C-S-T (chest shoulder tricep)
30 mins treadmill
30 mins cycle
50 push ups (quick)
100 bench presses
150 shoulder raises
200 tricep extensions
30 mins treadmills with light weights (lifting weights/ doing curls/ shoulder raises)

Day 2: Cardio + B-D-B (back delt bicep)
30 mins treadmill
30 mins cycle
30 pull ups
150 lat pulleys
100 dead lifts
150 delt pulls
200 bicep curls
50 concentration curls
30 mins treadmills with light weights (lifting weights/ doing curls/ shoulder raises)

Day 3: Stretches + walk
Just stretch to the max.

Day 4: mix n match
30 mins treadmill
30 mins cycle
Mix n match - excercise all muscles that feel less exerted with low weights and maximum repititions.
30 mins treadmills with light weights (lifting weights/ doing curls/ shoulder raises)

Day 5: Complete rest

Day 6: The horror (legs)
I kept a separate day for legs coz the day i do legs, the next day i can barely walk!
100 Squats
100 Lunges
150 leg presses
150 leg curls
100 side sit ups
30 mins treadmill
30 mins cycle
I keep the cardio in the end so that it dosent scare the shit out of me right in the beginning.
(damn! the legs hurt!)

Day 7: REST
get a massage/steam. Chill. Relax. Give your body time to recuperate.


If you do follow this schedule - do be prepared - it tires the hell out of you.
Another thing - i used low weights so that i could maximize my reps. But only so low enough that i used to be straining myself to get to the end.

i missed my 15 march deadline by a day.
I reached my target weight by 17th march thanks to 2 unexpected parties.
but i guess 2 days late is better than never :)

Now to go for it all! :) Absolute definition by April 15.
If you have any tips - do let me know :)

AGAIN: In retrospect, this was the stupidest regime i ever followed. it literally starved me and made me weak instead of fit. but i have still kept it on my blog as a reord of my follies.
this is similar to the idiotic fads like P90X and INSANITY workouts. its really stupid, even though on the outset, it seems to work. But you end up losing quality muscle mass and fat, and getting really weak - while you think what you have lost is only fat. 

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Monday, March 10, 2008



sniippp sniipp chopp chopp snipppeetyyy snippp choppy choops chopp snip....


i finally got haircutted..... my long hair chopp chopped... 10 months of patience allll lawnmovered... and here's how its lookings nowwww!
hee hee :D

(psssst... i got to grow it again ;))

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

My son's final lesson

Caught up in my busy day and my life i hardly realise a thing.
No feelings. No thoughts. No pain. No stops. No breaths. No slack. All work. All play. The gym. The court... and home.

Lying alone on my bed at night... it happens. SNAP. I miss him.
I miss that little fur ball licking at my face when i lay down.
I miss those paws that push me out of bed at night.
I miss those eyes that stare at me.
I miss that warm, fuzzy little creetur. I miss my son.
And sometimes it just rolls down my eyes.

I know i raised him to be amazing. To make friends. To fight. To survive. To stand tall. And i know i raised him the way i'd raise myself if i could. I raised him to be like me.
Which is why when he got kidnapped, i could reassure myself that he'd be fine. He knows to take care of himself.

But knowing that - i wonder why he didnt escape and come back. which he is, i believe, very capable of. Is there something he wanted to tell me?
Is there something he wanted to teach me?
I guess so.

Coz since the day that his paws didnt crawl back into my learning. Im learning a lot. Im learning something that i never learnt before.
Im learning to stop bleeding when i feel. Im learning to let my memories be shards of glass that cut through me. Im learning to realise that somethings dont last forever. and that somethings do. Im learning to put the past behind. and its lessons and memories ahead.
Since that day, im learning my most important lesson - the lesson i believe he's taught me. The lesson i believe is the one he wanted me to learn.......

Im learning.... to let go.

Friday, February 29, 2008

I DON'T CARE - an 'article' of hate

This is the first time i'm putting up an article written by someone else - cause it just shows so much perspective. A perspective that full of emotion - of frustration, indifference and hate. I'm not advocating these views, which though i do agree are brilliantly written. It makes a great article to fuel hate filled americans. And i wouldnt be surprised if the writer ran for president! I'm just putting this article here without any judgement. Tell me what you think of it. Let's talk.
This is the article supposedly written by a housewife in New Brunswick to her Local newspaper:

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?

Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from the nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban wer e claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan.

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat. I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mo sques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs. I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a ANA soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care. And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and, you guessed it, I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behaviour!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add: 'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they ma de a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this. One last thought for the day: Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The Canadian Soldier.
3. The British Soldier
4. The Dutch Soldier and
5. The American Soldier
One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

What's with the look?

Long hair. wavy and un-combed. Grizzly beard. grown over days.

"WHAT'S WITH THE LOOK?" people ask me.
"Why look ugly when you can look good?", "why dont you get a hair cut?", "look a little decent" ...
it goes on and on and on!

what's with the NECESSITY to look good all the time???
Why are people so stuck up on how a person looks?

I have grown my hair. I promised myself to grow them long to test my own patience. but it has not only developed my patience, but also re-affirmed the fact that we have truly grown up into a world where looks play a major role (unfortunately).
How a person looks determines wether you care to start a conversation with him/her. Their looks make them more 'suitable' for a certain job. Looks make a difference on which 'group' you fit in to. and assorted shit.

Being on the creative side, if i dress up well, i encounter comments like "why do you dress up like servicing man?", "you should be wearing torn jeans and kurtas or something man - something 'creative'"
Whats wid that?

One thing as far as work is concerned - looks dont matter, performance does. and that's how it is for me. Most 'CREATIVE' people who roam around dressed as nincompoops from planet zonsipobarro are nothing but people trying to cover up their insufficiency in performance with overty displays of idiocy - so it isnt very surprising that most of them are trainees.
Why cant servicing people supposedly dress casually? The way i've known business, it doesnt bloody matter how you are dressed - what matters is what value you deliver and how much business sense you talk! So what's the big deal?

Coming back to looks - why cant people just be comfortable with the fact that bad hair days are a fact? why cant people just accept the fact that some people grow fatter than they do? why do people get shocked when some good looking woman dosent put on make up or some average looking woman does? Why do men fret when their girlfriends dont doll up at parties? why do women get agitated when their men dont shave when they meet her firends/family?

especially when we all know what the fact is - that we are all human - we all have our faults - and it isnt without learning to love them that we'll ever grow up any better.

We've got just one life! might as well just head out and try out all the weird combinations we WISH to try out!streak your hair, shave it off! grow it long, do nothing at all! dont shave, dont pretty yourself! or pretty yourself and don that suit! LOOK THE WAY YOU WANT YOU TO LOOK! and dont give a bloody damn of what people think! because maybe the most important people in your life are those that love you - as a person - for the person that you are - no matter how crazy, weird, mad, smart, sexy, stupid or dumb you look at the moment, or ever! and they are all that matter.

looking back, Isnt it time we learnt to know people beyond how they look?
Isnt it a fact that every person you know is an individual who'll most probably live further than the way the look?
Isnt it time we learnt to grow up beyond the blinds of our eyes?

i dont know. i cant help just wondering. Im just wondering.

Just growing my hair long... and wondering.

-Pushkaraj Shirke

Monday, January 28, 2008


I just joined my new workplace. filled in the forms. logged in. and filled a few more forms and registrations. and then i came across a page that said BIOGRAPHY.
i was wondering what to write in my 'biography'.
Scattered and random as it is - i just wrote what i thought - fragmented and semmingly incomplete - yet most complete to me :)

this is what i wrote:

Me. im just another miniscule subatomic particle on a grain of sand on an endless beach called the universe...
but damn! im still never gonna stop believing that i can change the world!
Yes - that stubbornly narcissistic, unbreakable, emotionally supercharged, dream driven eternal idealist - yes - thats ME.


Growing up as a 'not so normal', dyslexic kid, i learnt one very important lesson - TO LEARN.No matter what i do, what task im assigned, which road i take - i make it a point to keep on learning. To keep an open mind and to soak in the experience. To open - experience - learn - adapt - and improvise.


I learnt all i could - every thing that was possible - beginning with learning to overcome my linguistic differences (i wouldnt call them disabilities). Over the years i learned and managed to excel in public speaking competitions, quizzes, science fests, basket ball compts, cold ceramics, carpentry, fashion show choreography, compeering, dance, oral percussion, script writing, acting, direction, poetry, painting, swimming and more. many more.


I started working as soon as i left school - marketing - working as a door to door salesman (coz my dad told me the best way to learn marketing is in the face of a door that slams on your face). I did a little dubbing. a little modelling. A few months of market research, taught martial arts... and was about to join the navy when ADVERTISING happened to me.
and it has been THE experience ever since.I worked for Alliance advt, Makhija advt, Better Comm and did a lot of freelancing jobs - enjoying each to the core.
And now im here.


and it feels like home.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

Friday, January 18, 2008

Being 'Decent'

D.E.C.E.N.C.Y ?

What is decency?
I was just talking to a nice creature that i encountered and this topic came up - so thought about it...

what is this 'decency'? more importantly, being percieved as highly indescent by a large proportion of people including teachers and society folk, what's DECENCY to ME??

I guess this would be it.

To me, decency is about having an attitude that gives 2 fucks to what the world thinks about you--- but at the same time honestly giving 2 fucks about causes that need your assistance-- it may be the welfare of a million refugees, attending to a sick dog by the road side-- or as you said-- helping and old man cross the road irrespective of who he is...

decency is about staying sober while all others are sloshed so that u can make sure nobody messes with your friends-- not even yourself.

decency is about not making out with drunk women.

decency is about not abusing relationships. decency is also about abusing the shit out of assholes who take advantage of your friends and family.

decency is about respecting your elders. decency is also about smashing the shit out of the lecherous old man who tries to grope your friend.

decency is about respecting people. It is also about having the balls to not give respect to those who DEMAND it.

decency to me is about hugging and kissing your girl like there's no one around in case you have'nt met her for a long time (which depending on the situation can also be 10 mins) ... but just toning it down a little if there are too many relatives/family/elder ppl around. (i repeat, just a little)

decency is about screaming out to call a long lost friend you see at a mall. it is also about keeping shut if it happens to be at a funeral.

decency to me is about not putting up pretences and being yourself- with the caution that you dont offend others too much in doin so... and walking away if that is the case.

decency to ME - is well, just about being myself. as far as can be.

-Pushkaraj Shirke

Friday, January 4, 2008

Thank You

In the middle of nowhere, in the midst of the night, at the beginning of the new year - I stand and I look at the mirror. It crosses my mind that this year, unlike every year, I did not give my new-year ‘drunk’ speech/lecture that I give to my people. I feel like writing it down. I think of it. It makes me smile.

It’s not my usual narcissistic smile that comes out of loving myself. It’s different, it’s a smile that comes from a way deeper part of me. It’s a smile of thanks.

A smile of gratitude.

Gratitude towards everyone and everything that has made my life complete.
Gratitude towards those people who have loved me for what I am.
Gratitude towards those, who have scorned me for what I am. Gratitude for those lessons that I learned between these two.

I feel grateful towards those who put their faith in me. I feel grateful even to those who never stopped doubting me. I’m grateful to life for having shown me the difference.

I’m glad I’ve found friends I can trust my life with. I’m glad I’ve found strangers who’ve trusted me like friends. I’m glad I’ve been worthy of all the trust they’ve placed in me.

I feel obliged to the people who tried to put me down. I feel obliged towards the people who let me stay down. I’m obliged I could learn to stand back up on my own.

Im grateful for the dreams that I’ve been able to dream. I’m grateful to life for giving me the wings to achieve them. I’m just a little much more grateful to those who mocked at my dreams - for they’ve driven me to soar far beyond.

I feel a sense of gratitude towards my parents and my friends for not having being judgmental towards me. I feel even more thankful to them for having taught the same to me.

I’m obliged towards those ‘friends’ who backed out on me. For it is them that showed me what real friends are meant to be.

I’m grateful to my teachers for having slowed down for me to learn. I’m even grateful to those who bled my hands because they couldn’t slow down. I’ve grown from what I’ve learnt in the difference.

I’m grateful for the people who taught me that money isn’t everything. I’m grateful for having learnt that it is something best said when you are rich enough in the first place.

I’m grateful to circumstances for having shown me both – the rich and the poor days. I’m grateful to life for having taught me that ‘money’, as often misconstrued, isn’t the same as ‘wealth’.

I’m thankful to the only woman I ever been in love with, for having been there by me. I’m thankful for the smiles, for the hurt, for the life I lived – I shared with her. I’m thankful to her for having helped me learn that some things, even if apart, do find a way to last forever.

I’m grateful to the only girl whose heart I ever broke. I’m even more grateful to her for having forgiven me and been my friend nonetheless. I’m grateful for the ways in which she’s made a better me.

I’m glad to have lived with people who’ve had the heart to trust me, more than their own prejudices.
I’m glad to have found people who opened their hearts to me. I’m grateful to them for having shown me the courage to live with an open heart.

I’m grateful to my colleagues and seniors for having shared their minds with me. I’m grateful for their honest views and for having been a ‘team’ with me. I’m grateful for the growth they endowed me with.

I’m grateful to all so many people and all so may things, that maybe if I had to name, I probably couldn’t even name them all. But I’m grateful. Grateful for it all. Grateful to them all.

I’m grateful to the gods, to the spirits, to the world and to every power above and around me, for having given me this life that I so love having lived.

I’m grateful to every bit that has made my life complete.

I FEEL grateful. I FEEL gratitude.

Thank you everyone. It makes me smile.

Thank you.

- Pushkaraj Shirke

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