Thursday, June 5, 2008

ALONE?



"Fit into this. Fit into that. Be part of group. Have fixed circle. Build your social support system. Be with people. Be around people. Do like they do. Be like they do." WHY THE HELL?

From the first memeories i have, i remember being alone. Playing within my mind. Bonding with the silence that surrounds me. In love with the wind that kisses my face. Passionate about everything i choose to do. AND THEN I REMEMBER BEING ASKED TO FIT IN.

From nursery to school. From school to the hostel. From hostel to college. and a different college. At work. At home. It is the same "why dont you fit in?".

The way i look at it, some people are made not to fit in. I'm definitely not. And maybe that's just how it is.

I don't NEED 'fitting in'. Why should YOU bother? Cause you 'fit in' and are happy? or cause you made compromises to 'fit in' and now feel it occward to meet some one who didnt and is still happy? Why?

Over the years, i've learnt to be social. I've learnt to reach out and connect. I've learnt to understand and bond with people. BUT I'VE NEVER REALLY MANAGED TO LEARN TO STAY. The way i've learnt it, friendship isn't a forced dependance. A 'you NEED to hang out with me', a 'you NEED to do this with me' or a 'we NEED to have fun together' isn't it. Be friends. Be there for your friends. But that's it. Why be a groupie?? Why be a herd??

Let's see. I have over 500 friends. And yes, they are all amazing people. Smart, emotionally receptive, great human beings. But there are just a few that make it to being the people i'd come back home to. A few friends that really understand my silence amongst even all the words i blabber off the top. A few friends that i care about beyond my life. And i guess they are all that truly matter to me.

It's like being the lone wolf. You have a pack of your own. But you need to stray away. Its the wild that calls out to you. You are always there for your pack. You'd give everything for your pack. But you don't NEED to be a part of it.

Being alone isn't the same as being lonely. My happiness lies within me. While other people NEED others to have a great time, i don't always do. Sometimes, i'm best left to being myself. Kind of like the lone wolf that i am within.

Wild. Free. And sometimes, best left ALONE.

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