Thursday, July 2, 2009

The gift and curse or hatelessness

is there even a word like that. I guess not. But the feeling, sure is. Which makes the word so profound in itself - its inexistence in language defines its meaning. Its nature.
Not all things in the world are known and defined by the world. May it be relationships, feelings, beliefs or situations in life.

I've lived like a fool. Loved like a fool. Won like a fool. Lost like a fool. Yes i've been a fool. But in my foolish journeys between my experiments with life, i've learned some really valuable lessons. And they, thanks to my experiences - as rich as they can be in their poorness, are priceless. The most important lesson by far may be the understanding of the nature of Hatelessness.

Having a heart that loves easily and deeply comes with a caution. A caution I've learned only with time. A caution to not let only the heart make promises for your body and mind. The three are separate, living in unision, yet SEPARATE. Not understanding that can cause a lot of harm. To everything and everyone around. Yet most of which would be to yourself. To your sense of self and your peace of mind.

Where does hatelessness figure in this?
Well, when you love, you just love. You don't think. And when you start thinking, expectations come up, stereotypes come up, the world starts showing up in your feelings. People start chaining your feelings to your actions. The world wants your feelings to be the way the world defines it. but it is not always possible. And sometimes the best choice is to just accept the feelings and cut away the expectations. Yours and that of others.
And in this, the incapability to hate can seem like a curse, unless you learn to look at it like a boon. Its like a strange gift that only reveals its value when you've suffered it enough to understand the power of it.
If you love the person, love them - no matter what. It dosen't mean you have to love them the way the world says love should be. There are so many relationships the world just cannot explain. Does that mean they dont exist? Does the fact that i do not live with a person MEAN that i do not love that person? Does the fact that im miles away from someone for years mean that my heart dosent care for them? It doesnt. never will.
That's where hatelessness comes in.

There are so many times when your feelings will be put down, just because they don't fit the stereotypes others have built in their head. Your feelings will be disregarded because they are not understood by others. And there are times it would make you feel that its best not to feel at all. but the truth is, your heart will feel. no matter how much you supress it, it will feel again.
You can't blame others for living in their world f stereotypes. The fact is, even you have your own. And you probably always will. It comes of being human. The only thing you can do is just let the feeling be. And not disrespect it yourself. Not hate the person who you felt for but couldnt understand your feelings. Coz its not their fault. Be hateless.

Yes, it doesn't come easy. It makes you vulnerable. But that's what it is like. Its a gift, its a curse. It's how you take it.
Wih time, when you've known it better, you'll understand the peace it brings. Maybe you'll better appreciate the fact that it is this 'weakness' of hatelessness that actually strengthns the best in you. Strengthens the heart within you, to be open and true. Free of malice. And yet as loving as ever.

It's the weakness of hatelessness that keeps you loving. It time, that's what really keeps you living.

Don't know if you understand all that i'm rambling, but maybe that's coz that's how complicated it is. It dosent come to you, unless you've experienced it yourself. Hope it brings you as much calm as it does to me. this funny thing i call 'hatelessness'.

Pushkaraj Shirke

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