Friday, March 11, 2011

A love letter to My Corrupt India

My Dear Incredibly Corrupt India,
for the lack of a better adjective that encapsulates your greatness, i've chosen the word corrupt. the 'incredibly' before it comes straight from the heart.
for 25 years of my life on this planet, i never paid a bribe. i never broke a rule. i stood in the lines that you asked me to - through your systems and institutions, your so called governing forces (read cops). Thanks to that i don't have a passport, i don't get a ration card, i'm not allowed to register a permanent residence unless i live in a chawl or promise to vote for a corrupt politician who will then issue me papers. and i can't believe what a fool i've been! 

All this while, in being with you, i've been blind to your true beauty. your true beauty dosent lie in your, culture, your people or your heritage. it lies in your fargility. it leaves me spellbound. All this while i thought it was your weakness, but i was wrong. And thank you for being so patient and opening my eyes. Your true beauty lies in your corruption!

Of all places in the world, in India, everyone is equal. Many countries just boast of equality - but You India, You practice it! here, it dosent matter who you are, where you come from, which god you pray to or even what sexual orientation you have! In your arms, everyone is equal. ofcourse the only condition being that they have that little green wad of cash.

You are so forgiving about everything, it makes me weep. Just yesterday, when i paid a bribe for the first time in my life i learnt your most valuable lesson! I learnt that paying that bribe isn't really a bribe. It's just using the money you have to buy some measly cop's, government official's, system drone's self respect. anyways, its not wrong coz neways they have almost none. That makes me look aroud at the legislation on your lands and i realise that 80% of the cases in police stations never end up in arrests! the 20% that do are coz they couldnt afford a bribe or just don't have enough money to bribe all the layers in your system. I look back at the cases that come into the media and vanish equally effortlessly that its not about how right or wrong you are, but about how rich or poor you are! of course, if you are poor and still want justice, in India, you can always have a company/organisation/media channel piggyback your case to earn it some publicity - in return for which you could get justice. and they'd earn the greens! In your hands, the act of forgiveness so uncomplicated and simple: money = forgiveness.

You really make me want to be a better man. at the same time you teach me the delicate truth that better, actually means richer. coz once you have money in India, you are practically untouchable! you can make arrests vanish, laws dissapear, even if arrested recieve VIP treatment, get papers without owning property, rape, kill, murder, raze villages and towns even... and get away with it! You make any man feel like God! and what do you ask for in return? just a little patch of green. India my darling, you truly make me want to be a richer man.

Thank you so much for being so patient with all my virtues and crap, and thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for being the amazing country that you are.

Yours lovingly, and no more virtuously,
Pushkaraj Shirke

PS: I promise that i will never again reject the liberties you offer so lovingly. I will flout every rule in each of your systems henceforth and make sure that i respect the love of corruption and chaos that you so dedicatedly stand for in everywalk of life.

2 comments:

  1. Two-Face: It's not about what I want! It's about what's fair! You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. You were wrong! The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair. His son's got the same chance she had; fifty-fifty.
    Batman: What happened to Rachel wasn't chance. We decided to act. We three.
    Two-Face: Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything!?
    Batman: It wasn't.
    Two-Face: The Joker chose me!
    Batman: Because you were the best of us! He wanted to prove that someone as good as you could fall!
    Two-Face: And he was right.

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